


Silentium

by LadyJanriel



Series: Silent Taint [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Romance, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 21:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 46,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3992764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyJanriel/pseuds/LadyJanriel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was almost like a game, as long as Roxas stayed silent, his secret was safe and so was he. But how can anyone stay silent when an all-too-happy brunet wants to make you talk?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FF.net back in.... 2010? 2009? I don't remember. But I bought it over here, so here it is! Still didn't bother to thoroughly edit it but it should still be bearable than it's original posting XD
> 
> I combined all 15 chapters into three on FF so I decided to do the same here, hence why the chapters are stupidly long.
> 
> 7/28/17 Edit: Added the "implied/referenced rape/non-con" tag because I figured the story was old enough to no longer have that be a "surprise" anymore. Also, I'd like to state that the actual rape pre-dates the story and is only REFERENCED but never actively happens again.

Darkness.

Heavy.

Silent.

Black, inky darkness . . .

I see nothing. I hear nothing. I feel nothing. Just complete utter darkness.

"Onii . . . chan . . . wake . . . already . . ."

Sound. Muffled. Inaudible. Reverberating within the black veil of nothing.

Who?

What?

"Onii-chan! Wake . . . UP!"

It's growing louder, closer, audible . . .

Someone's coming . . .

Thump. Thump. Thump.

"Onii-chan!"

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk!

"We'll be late for school!"

The dark veil lifts. Black turns to gray to white to light to the semi-lit mess that is my bedroom.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

"Wake up Roxas! Breakfast is ready!"

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk!

I want to tell her to shut up, that I'm up and awake but my lips don't move and my throat is dry. I'm always like this.

I pull off my sheets; my feet slipping out of the comfort of my blankets and embrace the frozen floor beneath.

One step. Two steps. Three steps. Four.

I reach the door and yank it open, scowling right into the angelic face of my twin. She's already dressed in uniform: blue plaid tie resting neatly on top of a white wrinkle free blouse, matching blue plaid skirt too high above the knees teasing beneath the shirt. Golden locks of hair resting softly against her shoulder, gleaming lightly underneath the light of the hall and those eyes, those crystal azure eyes glowering right back at me because neither am I ready for school, I'm still in my pajamas.

"We're going to be late for school Roxas." She huffs, pushing me aside to enter my room. "Mom already left for work and the bus will be here any minute. Why aren't you already dressed? We have freshman orientation!"

She reached for my closet, skimming through the mess of clothes until she threw pieces of my school uniform over her shoulders. They littered the floor in front of me; my eyes too focused on my sister to do anything.

From up here, I can smell the faint scent of eggs and bacon our mother made for us before she left for work. I can even hear the distant sounds of moving dishes from our older brother downstairs. It feels like the first day of school alright, I just wish I had been more prepared.

"Come on you bonehead," said my sister. "Hurry up and get dressed before the bus arrives."

She shoved the pile of clothes into my arms and pushed me out the door toward the bathroom. I'm still lost in a daze by the time the door slams behind me. I don't think I remember what I was dreaming about.

-x-X-x-

When I finally made it into the kitchen, my sister shoved a slice of toast smothered with jam into my hand.

"No time to eat, the bus is here!" She squealed, grabbing our bags before she pushed me out the door.

Sure enough, the dreaded yellow school bus stopped beside our neighbors front door and threw open its doors.

"See you at school Cloud!"

"Stay out of trouble Naminé. You too Roxas!"

We climbed into the half-empty bus before Naminé finally returned my school bag. We separated soon after, me taking a spot alone near the back and Naminé joining one of her brunette haired friends near the front.

I nibbled on my toast quietly; eyes focused on the outside. I watched my older brother slip on his goggles (does he ever wear a helmet?) over his eyes before speeding out of the driveway in his motorcycle. The bus jerked forward, nearly making me drop my breakfast on my lap in the process, and continued on its way to my new high school.

-x-X-x-

Twilight High School is huge, overpopulated and the only high school in the district. Most of the kids I went to Junior High with are coming to Twilight High. Not that it matters much; most of my classmates don't even know I exist.

I spent most of my summer indoors watching crappy cartoons, blockbuster movies and eating sea-salt ice cream until I puked. No one in my house ever really noticed.

My mom was busy with work. My brother spent most of his time working part-time and my sister was almost always at a friend's house. I was alone throughout my summer vacation, just like I was in Junior High and just like I'll be now.

So when the bus finally pulled up to Twilight High, I was not surprised by the crowd of lingering upperclassmen or the nervous looks of the incoming freshman. From where I sat, I spotted several familiar faces. I even found my brother Cloud sitting with a bored expression on his face by the stairs.

Leaning against the wall beside him was his friend Squall Leonhart (Cloud calls him Leon though) with his arms crossed and a smirk on his face. In front of them was a girl I had never seen before, jumping up and down on the grass with Aerith Gainsborough giggling and another longhaired brunette standing beside her.

Ahead of them I spotted a head of silver hair, dazzling emerald eyes and a smirk of amusement gracing handsome features as a red headed girl and a brunet haired boy greeted the teen cheerfully. I blinked.

The silveret was named Riku Morikawa. He moved to Twilight Town back in third grade and graduated before my class did. The red head in front of him is Kairi Uchida and the brunet is Sora Leonhart. (Guess who his older brother is?) The three of them have been friends since I have no idea when and it looks like they'll be friends for years to come.

There are other familiar faces: Hayner, Pence, Tidus, that guy with the weird hair, my sister's friends Olette and Selphie, but I don't care. None of them knows who I am, let alone remember I exist.

"Hey Kid! Get the hell outta my bus before I end up takin' yer ass with me!" the bus driver yelled.

I really need to stop daydreaming.

-x-X-x-

I sat near the back during orientation and almost fell asleep three times. I would have passed out cold if it weren't for the two idiots giggling and poking each other next to me. (Sheesh, how can anyone be so energetic this early?)

When orientation was over, I followed my schedule to homeroom. I never lost my way (when you don't talk like I do, you tend to focus more.) and ended up being one of the few early birds in the class. I took a seat near the back of the class and glanced at my schedule completely.

I blanched.

History (So early? I'll fall asleep!)

Biology (no comment)

Algebra I (Bleh)

Lunch (the only 'class' I'm looking forward to)

English I (Pleeaase let there be interesting books!)

Art I (Art with Naminé? Ugh.)

Foods (Foods?! What the hell is "foods"?)

Gym (I'll be too tired to walk home now)

I sighed. It could have been worse; I could have had my brother's schedule. He has physics first thing in the morning.

I folded my schedule away just as a bunch of students filed into the room. I glanced up at the door, spotting many familiar faces and many unknowns. My sister came into the room laughing with her friends. She spotted me and gave me a wave, but ended up sitting near the front with Olette DiCicco and Selphie Keck.

After them was a blonde haired kid, that guy with the weird hair, Kairi, Sora, Hayner, Pence and a bunch of other unknowns. The seats were filled, the class was settled and the teacher walked in.

-x-X-x-

My homeroom teacher was a short, plump woman with ash brown hair tied in a sleek bun, tanned wrinkled skin and soft honey brown eyes. She looked like a teacher whose sole purpose in life was to torture her students but I couldn't be any more wrong. The moment she opened her mouth to call on attendance, I realized how deceiving looks can be. Her voice was soft as silk and sweet as cinnamon apples. (or maybe that's spicy?)

"Good morning students! My name is Mrs. Novack and I'll be your homeroom teacher for the remainder of the year." She picked up a book from her desk and said, "When I call your name please raise your hand."

She went down the list in alphabetical order, which meant that I would be one of the last students to be called. Before I knew it, I was snapped out of my daydream by Mrs. Novack's voice calling, "Uchida Kairi?"

A hand flew into the air followed by a cheerful "Here!"

Mrs. Novack checked her off. "Uchiyama Naminé?"

My sister's hand shot into the air. "Present."

"Uchiyama Roxas?"

I rose my hand reluctantly, slightly sinking further into my chair. Mrs. Novack glanced up from her attendance, honey brown eyes finding my own azure ones.

There was a brief moment of silence, eyes locked, thoughts stopped, throat dry and then...

A very sweet, soft smile.

She checked me off.

"Everyone's here, how wonderful!"

And just like that, the bell rang for the next class.

-x-X-x-

I fell asleep in history. My history teacher, Mr. Thatch, droned on and on about school expectations, homework grading, tests, quizzes, exams and something about Atlantis. (He said something about that right?) There weren't any familiar faces that I knew – okay maybe one – but the class bored me to sleep in the first five minutes.

Biology was almost the same, but I couldn't fall asleep. Ms. Del Ray's voice was too obnoxiously loud for anyone to even daydream and she kept going on and on about electric eels. She kind of reminded me of my old science teacher back in Junior High. She didn't stop me from daydreaming though.

I looked around the whole class and realized that Kairi had my same class. I never noticed before but looking at her profile had a striking resemblance to my sister. (If Naminé wasn't already my twin then she could have passed as Kairi's twin.)

Damn, I feel a little offended.

Algebra was one word: B-O-R-I-N-G. I fell asleep in the first ten minutes. I can't even remember my math teacher's name . . .

It was finally lunchtime and while most of the students were outside enjoying lunch, I was in the cafeteria waiting for mine. I stood in line for what felt like an eternity, my eyes looking over the half-empty cafeteria to alleviate my boredom.

I saw my twin socializing with an even larger group of people – most of them from our homeroom – when I felt someone ruffle my locks of hair. I scowled, glancing up into the unique blue of my brother's eyes. He smirked, withdrawing his offending hand from the gold that is my hair.

"Otouto-chan, staying out of trouble?"

I shrugged.

His eyebrow twitched slightly. It always seemed to twitch whenever my brother speaks to me. I think he hates my silence.

"Where's Naminé?"

I gestured toward the table she sat at before moving up in the line. My brother glanced at the crowd, his eyes narrowing briefly at the sight. Before he could open his mouth, one of my brother's friends – Aerith actually – appeared by his side with a sweet smile on her face.

I was about to turn away before she noticed me but I was too late.

"Oh Cloud, is that your little brother?"

"Half-brother actually," he muttered.

Cloud Strife was the son of my mother's first marriage. After Cloud's dad died a few years later, my mother re-married and had Naminé and myself shortly after. My dad walked out on us when my sister and I were only three months old. (Thanks Dad! Love you too!)

"Doesn't matter, he's still your brother." Aerith giggled. (She was always so nice – or at least that's what Cloud tells Naminé.)

"Aerith, Cloud, everyone's waiting!" called the long haired brunette from earlier.

"Coming Tifa!" Aerith touched Cloud's shoulder lightly before gracing those beautiful eyes back on us. "Don't be late Cloud. I hope to see you again Roxas." She smiled again before she joined the brunette and left the cafeteria.

Cloud sighed. "You're a first year now Roxas. High School is a boring place without friends."

". . ."

He sighed again. "Otouto-chan."

". . ."

"How long do you plan on remaining this way?"

(Forever.) ". . ."

He shook his head in defeat, grabbing the sandwich he ordered amidst our conversation and paid off. When I finally paid my lunch – it was mac and cheese – Cloud said one more thing before he left.

"Eat with imouto-chan and her friends today. You might find someone there who could make you talk."

-x-X-x-

I ate lunch alone (I never listened to my brother) and left early for my next class.

I think English was one of the worst classes I could ever have. Mrs. Maleficent, I soon found out, was one of the worst teachers in Twilight High. That and she was the scariest person in existence – well, third scariest. It was only the first day and already she gave out five detentions, a five-page essay to write and a whole book to read and vocabulary homework for a quiz on Friday.

And the scariest part of it all, she's one of the two teachers who know I exist. (The first being Mrs. Novack.)

After barely surviving the nightmare that is English, I went to Art.

My sister wasn't with her regular girl posse so I sat in a stool beside hers.

"Onii-chan," she smiled happily at me. "How's your day so far?"

I shrugged. (Boring. Long. Tiring. Scary English teachers. How was yours?) I would have told her had I felt like talking. Luckily we were twins so twin telepathy was our means of communication. Even if she was wrong half the time.

"I'm sure it wasn't too bad." She giggled, "My day has been pretty eventful so far. All my teachers are so nice. Where were you at lunch onii-chan? I wanted to introduce you to my new friends."

I shrugged my shoulders again, but was met by a cute pout on my sister's angelic face.

"You know you have to open your mouth sometimes Roxas. You can't be silent forever."

I thought it over for a second (open my mouth huh?) then gave her a sinister smirk. I opened my mouth, looking as though I was going to say something—the anticipation and shock flashed in her eyes-but I snapped my lips shut again. She glared at me spitefully. (She never said I had to speak.) I mused at the thought.

Before she could come up with a retort, two students suddenly appeared in front of our table, instantly reclaiming Naminé's attention. Her face practically lit up joyfully as the students finally sat down at our table.

"Hiya Naminé!" Came the overly jubilant greeting.

"Sora, Kairi, I didn't know you two had art too." My sister beamed.

"I'm as surprised as you are." Kairi smiled, her cerulean eyes slowly looking in my direction.

My sister must have noticed because the next thing I know, she grabbed my arm and started with the introductions.

"This is my twin brother Roxas. He's older by three minutes. Onii-chan, these are my new friends Kairi and her best friend Sora."

I waved a hand and gave a small smile before my face crumbled expressionless. They returned the gesture, smiling brightly and happily – completely oblivious to my own fallen face. But Naminé noticed and she didn't let me off the hook so easily, her grip on my arm grew tight.

"My brother doesn't say much." She smiled apologetically. "A lot of people think he's rude because he doesn't talk, but he's very kind and sweet and—OUCH!"

She jumped in her stool, my fingers still hovering where I pinched her. I kept my face turned away but I knew she was glaring at me. Sora and Kairi giggled but they were nice enough to keep quiet after that.

After Art was "foods" (whatever that is) and it led me all the way to the last floor before the basement (why did Twilight High had to have FOUR freaking floors!?)

It turns out that "foods" is home economics and to my surprise, it's one of the few classes that mix the upper and underclassmen.

Upon entering, my eyes shot towards my brother sitting next to Leon in a table at the farthest corner of the room. On the other side of the room was the silveret Riku sitting with the blonde haired boy from homeroom (I think his name was Tidus something), the kid with the weird hair was with them too. (I should really figure out his name.) More students piled into the room and since I hardly knew anyone else, I sat next to my brother.

The moment I sat down, my brother's hand was already ruffling up my hair. He gave me his rare smirk before eyeing the clock.

"Who's this?" Leon eyed me up and down before answering his own question. "Since when did you have a little brother?"

"Since fifteen years ago."

"I've known you for five years and I find out you have a brother now?"

"You never asked."

"Tch." The brunet crossed his arms. "Smart ass."

Cloud smirked again.

"Leon! Cloud!" A familiar voice rang throughout the room.

The moment I stared up at the new comer, my eyes caught sight of familiar chocolate brown spikes, bright ocean blue eyes and a who-knows-how-many-thousands watt smile.

"And Roxas right? I didn't know you guys signed up for foods!"

Cloud and Leon exchanged exasperated expressions before saying, "We didn't" in unison. Sora grinned complacently, scratching the back of his head at the third years' reply.

"Requirement for graduation huh?"

"That's right." Leon nodded before he suddenly smirked and added, "You might learn something here Sora. If we're lucky, you might actually learn how to cook without burning anything."

"Yeah well—HEY! No fair! That was only one time Leon!"

"You almost burnt down the kitchen."

"It was really complicated!" The young brunet huffed.

"It was water, Sora." Leon shook his head.

My brother managed to hide his snickering from the Leonhart's, but I had to bite my lip and fight back the urge to laugh. (I will not make a sound. Will NOT!)

Sora scowled like a dejected puppy at his brother, but the sound of his name being called by the silveret quickly had the boy smiling again. He bid us farewell and joined the silveret at the other side of the room. Just then, our teacher – Mrs. Potts – entered the classroom at the sound of the bell.

-x-X-x-

Gym could never come faster than it did. Foods went well enough, Mrs. Potts turned out to be a really nice teacher but I wasn't comfortable with all the staring the second years were giving me.

It turned out that Cloud and Leon were the only third years in Mrs. Potts' class, and them being one of the most popular third years earned me forty minutes of recognition.

It. Sucked. Bad.

Even Riku gave me a dirty look (or was that my imagination?)

Anyway, I was grateful when gym came. I was able to get away from the prying eyes and slipped into the locker room, but now I was faced with a new problem . . .

Locker showers.

I wasn't shy or anything, it was just . . . (They might see.)

**. . . a horrific shrill voice. . .**

**. . .the burning of agonizing pain. . .**

**. . .a blood curdling scream. . .**

**. . .maniacal gleaming green. . .**

**. . .triumphant sinister sapphire. . .**

My upper back suddenly flared in pain.

I winced. Once. Twice. Three times max before I shuddered and stepped back into the gym without second thoughts.

-x-X-x-

We didn't do much in gym either. Our gym teacher Phil (he's so short and stubby he looks like a satyr) assigned the class lockers for the rest of the year and reminded us – in two words – Lock. Up. The. Valuables. (Seriously, he said that.) After that, he let us go.

I returned back to the locker room to find a locker that was close enough to the bathroom but far enough from the showers.

That didn't work out too well.

"I can't believe your brother's in Foods with us." Said an oddly familiar voice from behind a row of lockers. "He wouldn't stop giving me the stink eye either. Your brother still hates my guts doesn't he?"

"Yep!" came an enthusiastic reply.

"Gee, thanks for making me feel better."

The voice laughed, followed by what sounded like a locker door slamming. "Don't worry about it Riku—" (Riku?) "—Leon doesn't hate you; he hates what your brother did to him when he was a first year."

There was a moment of silence, which I took to my advantage and found a locker close enough to the bathroom stalls. I spun the combination into the lock, opened it, snagged it unto the locker then locked it once more.

"Hey, who was that blonde kid sitting with your brother and Cloud?"

I heard them moving toward the exit. I quickly vanished into the next row of lockers so they wouldn't see me.

"Oh, his name is Roxas. He's Cloud's brother."

"Cloud has a brother?"

"Well, he says half-brother, but brothers nonetheless! He's in almost all of my classes except for Biology and History."

They left the locker room before I could hear more, but I was too shocked to care. I was busy mulling over the possibility that somebody—SOMEBODY—noticed me. The corners of my mouth twitched, threatening to formulate a smile. That is, until someone's shadow loom over my body and a hot breath caressed the side of my ear. The scent of flowers teased my nostrils, awakening my senses and shooting terror throughout my veins—the smell of dahlias . . .

"Nice uniform you have there," whispered the taunting voice. _(I promised. I promised.)_ "My little flower." The voice blew into my ear teasingly.

My. Heart. Stopped.

My. Back. Seared.

But. My. Body. Ran.

I ran away from the locker room.

I ran away from the gym, from the halls, from the school, from the lawn.

I ran until the pain stopped.

_(I promised. I promised. I'll never tell anyone.)_

-x-X-x-

"How was school kids?" my mother asked us.

It was dinnertime now and while I usually stuffed my face with food, I found myself simply not hungry. So there I sat; poking the mashed potatoes with my fork and staring at it with such interest the rest of the food just vanished.

Naminé was the first to reply. "I made new friends. Well, we've known each other since Junior High but we've never been friends until now."

"And you Roxy? Did you make any new friends?"

I shrugged my shoulders, which only made my upper back hurt more.

I winced.

Cloud pretended not to notice.

Naminé and mom definitely didn't notice.

"I introduced onii-chan to Kairi Uchida and Sora Leonhart though." Naminé smiled.

"You two should think about joining clubs like your brother did when he was a first and second year."

Cloud grunted, stuffing his face with a mouthful of mash potatoes.

"I was thinking about joining the art club with Kairi, Olette and Selphie." Naminé grabbed her cup of Kool-Aid before her eyes locked onto my own. "You should think about joining the Dueling club, onii-chan. I heard Sora might sign up."

I scowled at her. (Does she think I care about clubs?)

Naminé only grinned back at me before taking a gulp of her juice.

-x-X-x-

I knew I was in trouble the moment I finished dinner – after finally getting back my appetite – and my brother was still sitting at the table with his dirty dishes.

I cleaned off my plate first then he did his.

I went up the stairs to my room. He followed close behind.

I closed the door behind me, sat on the bed and waited.

Three. Two. One.

Thunk. Thunk. Thunk.

The knob turned.

The door opened.

He slipped in.

"Roxas." His voice was stern, authoritative. It made me shiver.

"Does it still hurt?"

I nod, but say nothing.

"It's been a month Roxas. If it's still hurting then we have to take you to the hospital."

I shook my head quickly.

Cloud's eyes narrowed. "Roxas."

I shook again.

"Roxas." He said again, eyes laced with worry, expression stony, authoritative voice breaking. "You have to—"

"No!" I croak; my voice was raspy, broken, disgusting. (I promised. I promised.) "No." I shook my head.

He sighed in defeat; his eyes falling shut for a moment of thought before fluttering open again. "Let me see."

I spun around slowly, hearing my brother take heavy steps across the cold floor before reaching the edge of my bed.

I unbuttoned the white uniform and handed it to my brother. He tossed it to the nearby chair and then lifted up the white tank I had underneath, exposing the still aching flesh of my upper back. I winced involuntarily, the cold air licking against the raw pulsing of my skin sent out throbs of pain.

I've seen it countless times when I take a shower, but I know Cloud had only seen it once before. My mom and Naminé don't even know it exists.

Etched deep into the upper portion of my back were the letters:

S I L E N T I U M

Together they spelled silentium, which was Latin for—

"Silence . . ." my brother whispered so quietly I almost missed what he said.

He hovered his finger above one of the letters but never dared to touch. Never. I wouldn't let him.

(I promised! I promised!)

I grabbed my pajama shirt and threw it over my head before my brother could do anything. He took this as a sign to leave and drifted toward the door. I slipped under the bed covers; darkness already engulfing my silent room just as my brother closed the door behind him. My head rested against my pillow, eyes wide open, thoughts frozen and a haunting familiar voice whispering in my ear.

" . . .My little flower . . ."

(I won't say a word.)

-x-X-x-

I woke up before anyone the next morning. I made breakfast for myself – the eggs and bacon I was cheated out of yesterday – got dressed into uniform and left the house an hour before the bus came.

By the time I reached my homeroom, my brother and sister were probably wondering where I was. Just because of that, I switched off my phone. I laid my forehead against the cool top of my desk and closed my eyes. A little rest never hurt anyone . . .

-x-X-x-

"He's Naminé's twin right?"

A voice. A familiar voice. Who was that again?

"Yeah Roxas."

Another. A male. Who . . .?

"Sora said he was mute."

Familiar. So familiar. Silver . . .

"SHHH! Riku! He might hear you!" Female again. Red hair . . . "How could you say that Sora? Naminé said he doesn't talk much, that doesn't mean he's mute!"

"I haven't heard him say anything. Not even a peep." A yawn. A loud one. "Anyway guys, I'm starving. Can we go grab breakfast now?"

"Sora, didn't you eat breakfast already?"

"I'm fifteen Kai; I need more food than just four pancakes! Let's go to the cafeteria."

Something warm touched my shoulders, nudging me out of the dark fog of sleep. I shifted in my head slightly, trying to fight off the offender in my mind but that didn't stop the movements.

"Sora, what are you doing?" It was the familiar voice again, the voice that made me think of silver hair and vibrant green eyes. It was Riku's voice.

"Roxas might be hungry too. If we're going to the cafeteria then we should bring him with us."

Sora nudged me again and this time, I really did snap out of my dream haze. I gazed up at the trio with blearily, sleepy eyes – I could hardly make out their faces until Sora's bright smile graced his tanned features.

"Mornin' sleepy head!" He greeted.

I blinked.

Riku cocked an eyebrow.

Kairi only smiled.

Sora didn't notice the silence.

"We were just about to go to the cafeteria for breakfast. Want to join us?"

I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to go (when you're as quiet as I am, people tend to avoid you like the plague. Can't blame me for getting a little lonely, right?) But the moment my eyes glanced back to Riku, my desires quickly vanished in thin air. He kept his face void of emotions, but his eyes told me everything I needed to know.

I wasn't welcomed.

So I shook my head.

Sora thought otherwise.

"Aw c'mon! Don't be shy and join us!" He grabbed my wrist, yanked me out of my chair and pulled me toward the cafeteria with that grin on his face.

Riku was scowling the whole way.

-x-X-x-

When we reached the cafeteria, Sora and Kairi left Riku and myself to get breakfast. I sat in my chair nervously, my eyes locked completely on my hands. I don't understand it but there was something about being alone with Riku that made me nervous. (I think he's giving me the stink eye.) Nothing but silence fell between us when he suddenly rested his palms against the table and leaned closer to my head.

"What do you think you're doing?" He asked quietly, but I could still hear the traces of anger lacing his voice.

I shook my head as an answer. I don't care if he doesn't understand what I'm saying. It's not my fault I'm here.

I could still feel his intense gaze on my head, so I can only assume he's glaring at me like I'm his enemy. He leaned closer toward me and asked, "Are you gay?"

My head snapped up in shock, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, but the expression on his face was enough to tell me he was dead serious. I shook my head frantically. (No, I'm straight! I'm straight!)

"Then get out of my sight."

I froze. And I stared. I was extremely confused. (Was I supposed to say yes?) The look on his face never changed and it gave me the impression that it didn't matter if I said yes or no, he still would have told me to leave. I felt the heavy weight of disappointment drop into the pit of my stomach.

I don't know what Riku Morikawa had against me, but that look in his eyes had me running out the cafeteria in a matter of seconds. I lingered just outside the cafeteria door long enough to catch bits and pieces of Sora and Kairi's voices when they finally returned to the table Riku stood at.

"He said he had other things he forgot to do."

"He spoke to you?!" Chimed the shocked voice of Sora. (Why does he think I can't talk!?)

"Not exactly but it wasn't hard to figure out." His best friend responded and judging by the sound of it, I could tell the silveret was smirking.

There was a moment of silence that fell between them – I'm guessing they started eating breakfast – and I took that time to continue my way back to homeroom. Maybe if I hung around a little longer, I could have heard the rest of Riku's sentence when he said, "Hey Sora . . ." but it was too late now. I was already down the hall and out of earshot.

-x-X-x-

During homeroom, I found out my sister was angry with me. She refused to look in my direction throughout the whole class and whenever she did look my way, she stuck out her tongue at me. I guess I scared them this morning more than I meant to. (I hope Cloud doesn't kill me. He's scary when he's mad.)

That wasn't the only thing I noticed. Sora kept staring at me through homeroom too. Usually I don't really mind it when people stare, but his staring was so intense I think I felt myself shudder more than once. In the end, I opted to hide myself behind my book for English.

He never stopped staring.

-x-X-x-

Mr. Thatch was still droning on and on about something I don't care to remember, but I wasn't the only one not paying attention. Most of the students were passing around notes, whispering to each other and generally giving me random looks. Somehow, I felt that whatever they were talking about had something to do with me.

I suddenly wish I really were invisible.

"Psst, Hayner, pass this to him."

Remember when I said I only knew one familiar face? That was Hayner Cowden. He's been in every one of my homeroom classes since Junior High and now he was the only kid I knew in History.

Hayner grabbed the note from the desk behind him and tossed it carelessly over toward my desk before dropping his head back in his arms to sleep.

I glanced at the folded note for a moment, my mind wondering the possibilities that it was something bad. I looked around the room—everyone looked away—so I opened it.

**Cloud Strife wants you to meet him at the back of the school during lunch period.**

Oh crap I'm in trouble.

-x-X-x-

The rest of my classes were a blur. I think I was in some sort of haze until the lunch bell rang. I didn't go to meet my brother (I'm so dead.) and instead went to the cafeteria like the delinquent little brother Cloud always thinks that I am. (In this case, he might be justified.)

Naminé sat with her new friends again, laughing and jabbering away with that careless look in her eyes. She looked so innocent and oblivious to the fact that she's about to be the only Uchiyama twin in Twilight High in about thirty seconds. Maybe as my last dying request, I could spend the remainder of my life with her friends? Say a few famous last words before Cloud wipes my existence off the face of the Earth.

I shuddered. He's very scary when he's mad.

Suddenly, the front doors of the cafeteria slammed open, silencing the usually loud lunchroom in a startled stillness. And there, standing at the doorway with a stoic expression and arms stretched out when he opened the doors was my very demonic brother. I calmed down only for a millisecond when I noticed he had brought his friends along, but fear instantly ignited in the pit of my stomach—his eyes found mine.

His stoic expression erupted into anger; distorting his usually handsome face and making him look like he was about to commit murder. (Oh wait, he was.) He didn't have to say a word, I knew he was going to kill me for making him and Naminé worry this morning.

Because I'm a complete genius at life, I did the only thing I knew I could do.

I ran.

I don't know what the hell I'm thinking. I ran outside like a mouse being chased by a vicious, pissed off cat. Only this vicious, pissed off cat was more like a vicious, rabid wolf and that rabid wolf was my completely pissed off half-brother. I didn't even take time to notice that the cafeteria suddenly erupted into chaotic laughter. I was too busy making sure my brother doesn't kill me in cold blood!

Worst part is he chased me. My own freaking brother chased me!

"Catch that first year, Cloud!" yelled a red headed third year with a long sleek ponytail.

"Look at that chicken wuss run." Grinned a blonde haired beanie wearing third year.

"He's your brother Cloud! Don't kill him!" Tifa cried.

"Catch him!"

"Whoop his ass!"

"That first year is gonna get owned."

Stupid upperclassmen are plotting against me, I swear.

"Roxas!"

Someone grabbed onto my wrist and yanked me into the corner behind the trash. I closed my eyes out of reflex, feeling someone's hands press against my mouth as if I were going to scream for help. (Of course not!)

I heard my brother's footsteps run past the hiding place. He didn't seem to notice.

Silence descended on us before the hand fell away from my mouth and I opened my eyes. There, peeking secretly over the edge of the trash cart was the spiky haired brunet. He flashed his trademark smile once he realized the coast was clear before he turned to me and said, "We lost him. You okay?"

I nod. (Why did he help me?)

"Good." He nodded. "I would have helped you sooner but I couldn't get away from the guys." He reached for the back of his head again, his smile growing more apologetic by the second. "Hey, um, listen, sorry about homeroom. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

(Well you did.)

"It's just Riku told me something this morning and it made me wonder if it was really true, you know?"

My eyes narrowed. (What the hell did he say?)

"But I thought he was just paranoid or something," He laughed lightly. I could tell not even super optimistic Sora was buying his own words. "He said that maybe you didn't like us and that's why you were always alone, but I told him that he was being ridiculous. He always gets jealous when we make new friends."

My left eye twitched.

"That bastard." I hissed under my breath.

"Huh? Did you say something?"

I shook my head quickly. Sora pouted for a second until those ocean blue eyes flashed mischievously in thought.

"Hey Roxas," he began, a sinister grin spreading across his lips. "I heard Cloud and Leon were going steady."

I couldn't help it. My brain only registered "Cloud, Leon, and steady" before my mouth flew open and I practically yelled, "My brother has a boyfriend?!"

Two things happened at once. Thing number one: Sora suddenly burst out in laughter, wrapped his arms against his stomach and managed to yell "I KNEW YOU WEREN'T MUTE!" between breaths.

Thing number two came the form of something—or someone—suddenly removing the trash cart, exposing our hiding place and pulling me towards them by the neck. I was instantly pulled into the worst noogie of my life.

"What the HELL are you yelling, you brat?!"

Ow! Ow! Ow!

"H-he-hey C-C-Cloud—bwahaha!" Sora stammered between fits of laughter.

He fell to the ground, arms still clutching his stomach and tears streaming down his face when Leon appeared behind him and bonked him hard on the head.

"OUCH! Leon!"

"Stop spreading rumors Sora before I throw out the last of your sea-salt ice cream."

Now that shut the brunet up.

Cloud finally released me from his death grip but I wasn't off the hook yet.

"Do you have any idea how worried sick you made us?" He growled. "Naminé spent an hour looking everywhere for you! If you plan on going to school early—" He dug his hand into my pocket to retrieve my phone "—leave your damn phone on!" He tossed the, now turned on, phone back into my clutches.

And just because my brother's cruel, he dug his knuckles into my already aching head for extra measure—making me cringe under the pain—and then flashed me a smirk of satisfaction. He walked away with that smirk still on his face.

"Bye Cloud! Bye Leon!" Sora waved goodbye until he whipped around to face me, his eyes gleaming with that same naughty look he had before.

I raised an eyebrow.

"So," he began casually, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "You can talk huh?"

I glared. (I should have seen that coming.) I patted his shoulders in a form of silent gratitude, spun around with my head held high then marched back into the high school without looking back.

-x-X-x-

However that didn't stop Sora from following me around.

In English, he ended up trading seats with my desk neighbor so now it was him and I at the back of the class. Luckily, Mrs. Maleficent over loaded us with work. He hardly got the chance to speak to me.

In Art, Naminé and Kairi kept probing Sora with questions about what happened after I was caught. He ended up spending the whole class time re-telling the story and had to repeat it over and over whenever some random student caught wind of it. He never noticed that I managed to sneak out of art before the bell rang.

He was easy to ignore in Foods. Mrs. Potts kept us busy working on safety sheets and what NOT to do when your food catches fire. (I swear Leon circled everything on Sora's paper with red marker.)

He gave up trying to catch my attention after the third time he got caught by Mrs. Potts too. She may be as sweet as a grandma, but she's got that grandmother glare when somebody does anything wrong. (You know that glare your grandmother gives you when you say her oatmeal cookies taste like horse dung? Yeah, that's the glare.)

I was home free until Gym. It was then I realized that I forgot my gym uniform. I ended up sitting on the sidelines when Coach Phil had the rest of the first years running laps.

Everyone kept giving me the stink eye throughout the four laps.

On the other side of the gym, I watched the second years do pushups and jumping jacks while their gym coach checked off their names in teams. I kept my eyes on Riku the whole time.

To say I wasn't pissed for what he said would be an understatement. I was beyond pissed and the moment opportunity struck, I'd take it.

"Hrrmph. These first year pip-squeaks get smaller and smaller every year." Our coach grumbled under his breath. "All right you first years! As Twilight High tradition, your all gonna face off your superiors in a fair game of dodgeball."

I blinked. Then I scowled. I just had to forget my gym clothes today.

"Line up for your teams."

Just like the second years on the other half of the gym, Phil broke the class in half and stupid me had to watch in disappointment.

The first team against 2-B was the "Twilight Knights" (I can't believe Phil let us name our teams.) Sora and Kairi were on the same team (They called themselves the KUPO RAIDERS!) while Riku's team—The Nobodies—(what. The. Hell.) went up against class 1-B.

"Twilight Knights versus The Nobodies!" Phil called, his face scrunching at the "creative" names that belonged to classes 1-B and 2-B. "We want to see a fair game! Begin!"

I tuned out reality. At this point in time, I'd give anything to see Riku get his ass kicked in dodgeball, but since I'm not the one kicking his ass it wouldn't be as much fun. So I tried daydreaming, but of course, someone had other plans.

"Hey Roxas, did you pick a club you want to join yet?"

Sora's voice snapped me out of my daze in an instant. I don't know what's up with him but every time that kid says a word, I'm instantly reminded of that creepy kid who can see dead people. (What was the name of that movie again? Six—something—sense?)

I sighed heavily and shook my head in reply.

"Really?" (Oh god, why are his eyes bright like that?) "You should sign up to the Dueling Club with me then! Coach Phil supervises it too."

I want to ask him if he's crazy. I also want to ask him why he keeps talking to me when he knows I'm not going to answer. But I also want to ask him if Riku is in the Dueling Club too. Unfortunately, I never get a chance to do anything because suddenly, the side of my head burst into thought numbing, eye blinding pain.

My vision hazes momentarily, something bright red, large and round flashes in the corner of my eyes and the bleachers beneath me completely vanish. Then—THUMP!

"Roxas!"

"WHO THREW THAT!?"

"Oh god, he's bleeding!"

"Call the nurse!"

Intense throbbing pain rippled throughout my whole head. One side hurt more than the other did . . .

But . . .

But . . .

I don't remember getting up.

I don't remember what I was hearing.

I do remember seeing his face.

I do remember seeing him snickering.

I don't remember how he got rammed into the bleachers or how blood started spewing from his nose, but I do remember meeting the bad end of his fist before my vision returned to the black veil.

-x-X-x-

Throbbing.

Pulsing.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

I feel sick.

Throbbing. Throbbing.

Pulsing. Beating.

Pain, pain, pain.

" . . . sion . . . "

Darkness. Nothing. Veil of black.

Sickness.

Pulsing.

Pain, pain, pain . . .

" . . . okay?"

Voices. I hear voices. Muffled. Distant. Voices. Where . . .?

I feel sick to my stomach.

" . . . hold . . . tissue . . . nose . . . bleed . . ."

Nose. Bleed . . .?

I feel like . . .

The darkness is fading. The lights are returning. Brighter and brighter and brighter . . .

The voices grow louder and louder and louder . . .

Reality, the world, existence, memories . . .

Red, ball, smacking, pain, falling, gravity, smashing, attacking, nose, blood, punching, Riku, Sora, Kairi, Phil, voices, gym, dodgeball.

Did I just get my own ass handed to me by Riku?

And just like that, I was snapped out of whatever unconsciousness I was floating in and emptied my stomach contents right onto the nurse floor.

Someone shrieked, high, shrill and severely annoying in my ringing ears. It sounded like Kairi to me, but it wasn't. I think . . . was that Selphie?

"Ewwww! Gross!"

"He's awake!" cried another. (Ugh, why is everyone yelling?)

I felt someone gently push me back against the hard bed. A sweet, yet familiar scent of flowers offending my senses for a moment as soft fingers gently tilted my head from side to side.

"Roxas are you awake?" inquired the soft, familiar voice.

"He doesn't talk Aerith." Replied another; it sounded like Sora's brother.

Wait . . . Sora . . .

My eyes snapped open, taking in the blurry, double vision of familiar faces etched with worry hovering over my head. Aerith's green eyes caught my attention first. She smiled kindly at me before finally stepping aside from the bedside to clean up my pool of sick still left on the tile floor.

Sitting at the foot of my bed was Naminé, her usually cheery face tear stained and flushed. Her eyes glassy, red and puffy from crying and standing beside her were not only Selphie and Olette, but Kairi too. Kairi patted my sister's back gently, Selphie inched further away from my pool of sick while both Olette and Naminé smiled brightly at me.

I couldn't return the favor. My head hurt too much function.

My eyes wandered toward the door where Cloud stood leaning against the doorframe. His arms were crossed against his chest, his blue eyes focusing on something out of my own line of vision. I think he was watching someone out there in the waiting room. With my luck, I hope it's Riku.

Aerith returned with a mop, a bucket and some gloves—all of which she handed to my brother and sent him on cleaning duty. She ushered the remaining girls out of the room, all of them wishing me get well's, feel better's and whatever people tell someone when they're sick.

"Now, now, you girls should be returning to the clubs. I have to make sure he's well enough to speak first."

I had to roll my eyes. What's with people and making me talk?

The moment the curtains slipped shut, Aerith spun around to face me, her smile never once leaving her face. She sat down on the chair beside my bed, taking sure not to step on the wet tile that Cloud continued to clean with the mop.

"Roxas, I'm the assistant nurse aid during after school activities. If you really want to go home, you have to answer my questions. Okay?"

I nodded.

She went on. "Do you feel confused? Nauseous? Irritable? Restless?"

I shook my head. No. No. No. No.

"Headaches? Sensitivity to light?"

I nod. Yes. Yes.

She nodded in turn. "Double vision? Blurry vision?"

I shook my head. (She's naturally fuzzy, I swear.)

"I see," She glanced over at Cloud for a moment, her green eyes watching my brother's solemn expression as he finally finished cleaning the pool of sick and dumped the dirty mop into the bucket. She returned her gaze toward me and said, "You have a minor concussion Roxas. Luckily, it wasn't severe but I would like you to be careful from now on. Okay?"

I nodded.

She smiled again then jumped out of the chair cheerfully. "You can take him home now Cloud."

-x-X-x-

Okay, now I kind of regret not being truthful to Aerith.

Club activities were still going on when Cloud and I left the nurses office. (To my disappointment, Riku had already checked out long before I woke up.) So I never got the chance to see the damage I did to Riku's face . . . and I wasn't actually eager to see the look of Sora's face either. I know they're best friends and having me punch Riku's face to the point of bleeding isn't exactly a friendly gesture.

But I didn't feel the effects of my concussion until halfway home when I almost fell off my brother's bike because I was too dizzy and nauseous to hang on any longer. I think I blacked out again because the next thing I remember, I was already snuggled in my bed, but still dressed in my uniform.

Judging by the darkness outside my bedroom window, I can guess I was out for a long time. One look at my clock proved my guess it was 4AM.

I fell back against my pillow, my brain still throbbing from whatever it was that I smacked into, my eyes focused blankly on the ceiling. I felt . . . weird thinking about what happened. Somehow, I thought that replaying bits and pieces of what I could remember from fighting Riku would make me feel happy but I felt dissatisfied and disappointed in a way.

Something in the back of my mind kept nagging at me. It kept telling me that maybe . . . it wasn't Riku who had knocked me with the dodgeball in the first place and that maybe it was somebody else.

The thought of it made me shudder underneath my bed sheets. I don't know why or how, but whenever I kept thinking about it, I kept seeing sinister emerald green eyes glaring down back at me.

My upper back throbbed in pain.

Maybe that concussion was a lot more serious than I thought it was.

-x-X-x-

I was right; it did get a lot worse. For the remainder of the week, my mom forced me to stay home after she got word of what happened (thanks to Naminé's big mouth!). I can't say I didn't mind it though, after my mom left for work the latent effects of my concussion attacked me in full throttle throughout the whole day. I couldn't sleep much and I spent like my whole damn morning in the bathroom teetering between throwing up stomach acid and dry heaving.

I swear if I ever see Riku again, I'm going to make him payback three times worse for making me go through this utter bullshit!

When I did get healthy enough to spend the whole day in bed, Cloud became my personal slav—housekeeper for a few hours at a time. He brought up my snacks, my dinner, pulled out clean clothes to wear, cleaned up my room, changed my sheets, gave me a foot massage and dumped a whole bowl of cereal on me after he found out my plan of exploiting his help that Friday.

Naminé took pity on me too, or at least, she stopped being angry with me and did all my homework for every one of my classes. (I didn't even ask her for that, she did that on her own!) Sometimes it's good to have a smart twin! I just hope she didn't dot her "I's" with those stupid Mickey ears she always does. (I should probably check my English homework before school on Monday)

That's how the rest of the week went for me. Get weighed hand and feet by my own siblings, have my mom fond over me, checking my pulse, checking my pupils—did I ever mention my mom worries too much for the littlest of things? And get left to do whatever the hell I want without worry of school for the rest of the day. Oh yeah, that was the life! Well, it was the life until Friday came around, and after the whole dunking my cheerios on my head incident, I think this surprise almost gave me a heart attack.

It was after I checked my clock and noticed that school had ended not even thirty minutes ago. Naminé said she joined the Art Club with her girl posse so I figured I wouldn't be seeing her for another thirty minutes and since Cloud works part-time after school, I wouldn't be seeing him until later than that.

So imagine my surprise that afternoon when I heard the doorbell ring. Thinking that it was Cloud forgetting his keys again, even though he hasn't done it since he was fourteen, I unlocked the door and threw it open—half expecting to be greeted by my brother's milky sullen face. But instead, I'm greeted by someone completely opposite from Cloud—someone who has tanned skin, a round face, crystalline blue eyes and a nest of Hershey brown spiky hair.

(Did I seriously compare Sora's hair to a chocolate bar?)

"Hey Roxas!" came the forever-more-cheery greeting. "How ya feeling?"

(Well gee, if I wasn't in school today then obviously I still feel like shit!) I couldn't tell him that—obviously—so I opted for my second best answer. I glared at him. I tried making my eyes as verbal as I could—to make him know that his question was beyond idiotic and that he should turn around and go back home.

Keyword: tried.

He didn't get the message. He looked right through my glaring and gave me such a bright, clueless smile that I gave up on the spot and invited him into the house.

I stood in the hallway with my arms crossed, absolutely refusing to go upstairs to my room or anywhere else in the house. I didn't want Sora to stay long, especially since I'm pretty sure he's here to give me a lecture about breaking his best friend's beautiful, smug face, but the words that came out of his mouth stunned me completely.

"I'm sorry for what happened in Gym the other day," he murmured, his eyes oddly interested on his shoes. "I mean, I know I didn't do anything but it was my best friend who knocked you out so I thought…" He trailed off, his right hand automatically finding its place in the back of his head.

I noticed he does that a lot.

"Well, Riku's sorry too and don't worry, Kairi, Naminé and I knocked some sense into him after that." He grinned, his eyes finally meeting mine. "Oh yeah!"

He reached into his school bag and pulled out something wrapped in pink cloth with white bunny decorations and a yellow ribbon knotting the whole thing together. He handed me the item, his smile never once faltering, and I found myself captivated by the sheer brilliance of his smile. How can a normal person smile that much anyway?

"They're apology cookies. When Naminé told us you still weren't feeling well, Kairi, Selphie and Olette decide to bake cookies." He laughed suddenly, almost as if he were remembering some hilarious memory. (He probably was.) "Naminé was supposed to give it to you today but she had Art Club."

It must have been Naminé who told him where we lived too. Even my twin is plotting against me. (Not that I mind though—wait, what?! What the hell am I thinking!?) I mentally slapped myself. Throwing my thoughts aside, I untied the yellow ribbon and watched the pink cloth unfurled itself to reveal various multi-shaped cookies. There were stars, demented bunnies, hearts and one weirdly shaped cookie that kind of reminded me of a mouse with ears. And again, I'm instantly reminded that I still have to check my English homework.

I picked up one of the demented bunny shaped cookies and bit off its ears. It tasted like ginger.

My eyebrows rose upward. Hey, they weren't half-bad. Actually, they were pretty good!

I took another one of the cookies and tossed it into my mouth, chewing away in delight but still never once moving from the hall. Sora didn't seem to mind though; he kept his eyes watching my expressions whenever I bit into another cookie. He seemed amused by it, but I knew he couldn't fool me.

Sora was expecting something. He was expecting me to say thank you—vocally—but I won't do it. I'll thank him the way I usually do and usher him out of my house before he gets too comfy.

It's not that I have anything against him, actually I kind of like hanging out with him (d-did I just say that?) but he's gotta be at leasta little pissed that I punched out his best friend? I mean, there's no way a nice guy like him—and let's face it, Sora's just way too nice for his own good—can forgive me just like that.

Why am I worrying anyway? It's not like I care.

By the time I'm halfway finished with the cookies, Sora's sudden shift in movement snapped me back to reality. He stuffed his hands into his pockets; those bright eyes of his locked back onto his feet. He looks uncomfortable for some reason and I can't help the feeling in the pit of my stomach that I know what's coming next.

"Actually I, um, I wanted to ask you something…about…" he hesitated before he urged on, "about what happened on Tuesday."

I knew it.

He didn't wait for a reply, probably because he knows he wasn't going to get one or probably because he could sense my irritation. "Just hear me out okay? I'm not accusing you of anything and I'm not mad about what happened either—" (Yeah right, whatever.) "—I…we just want to know what happened."

"Riku honestly believes that it wasn't him." He continued on when my silence grew too much for him. "He says that he was busy trying not to get hit when the next thing he sees is a dodgeball fly past his head and straight towards you. Nobody else saw what happened or who threw it, but I have a feeling that Riku's telling the truth. He might get jealous but he wouldn't hurt anyone on purpose. Riku would never do that!"

I scoffed. Loudly.

Sora's eyes shot back to mine so fast, it took me a couple of seconds to realize he was staring at me. Well, he was glaring at me but it doesn't matter.

"You don't believe he didn't do it?"

I shook my head and crossed my arms to prove a point. It was a little hard with the cookies in my hand but he got the message loud and clear.

His brows furrowed downward in disappointment. "Riku never lies. If he says he didn't do it then I believe him! I don't know why you don't like him; he's never done anything wrong to you Roxas. I think you're being a little unfair."

Now it's my turn to scowl. I spun away from him, clutching the apology cookies tightly as agitation surged through my veins. Of course he'd take sides with Riku; they are best friends after all.

I want him to go, to leave me in my silent fuming agitation but the kid doesn't take the hint. So he stays by the front door with his eyes threatening to burn holes into the back of my head. I won't give him the satisfaction of turning around, if he wants to stick up for his BFF then he could say it to my back!

Instead, I heard him heave a sigh. Not just any sigh, a sigh so weighted down with various mixed emotions it almost made me want to turn around and see the look on his face. I never do though. I'm too stubborn and prideful to let him win this round.

"I'm sorry. I didn't come here to pick a fight. You're supposed to be getting better, not getting worse."

(Damn right.)

"But…don't hate Riku for what happened. I've known him since we were kids; I know he would never lie to me, especially about something like this. I just know in my gut that he's innocent. But even so…that doesn't give him the right to punch you back."

"He's lucky I didn't break his nose…" I muttered to myself. It didn't register in my brain that I actually said it out loud until Sora started chuckling behind me.

"Y-yeah, you almost did though."

I couldn't help myself, the corners of my mouth tugged upward into a smile at the sound of his laughter. It was nice to hear him laugh, it was almost soothing… and it made me feel like everything was going to be okay. That everything was right in the world, as it should be… as it was before.

I finally turned back around, catching him compose himself from his chuckle fit when another toothy grin spread across his face.

"That's the second time I heard you talk." He still thinks I'm mute? "I didn't notice before, but you sound really familiar."

I quirked a curious eyebrow. He thinks I sound familiar? Somebody get me a tape recorder so I can hit replay and have him listen to how he sounds. Sheesh, he still reminds me of that kid from that weird horror movie!

"I know it sounds really weird, but you kind of remind me of a singer." He said with a shrug. "Jess—something." His eyes suddenly lit up as a thought clicked into his mind. "Hey! We should go to a karaoke bar! I bet you have a great singing voice." He gave me an impish grin that I felt the back of my neck grow hot in embarrassment.

Oh. Hell. No.

(I will not make a sound! I will NOT make a sound!)

I shook my head quickly, almost violently, that the golden spikes of my hair bounced around frantically from side to side. His devious grin only broadened with my reaction. That little devil is enjoying this!

"Aw c'mon Roxy," (ROXY?!) "I'll tell you what; me, Riku and the others are planning on going to town this weekend. If you say you'll come, I promise I won't drag you into a karaoke bar."

(Must…not…say…any-)

"I wouldn't sing even if you forced me to!" I slapped a hand against my mouth, my eyes horror stricken and my face pale. I didn't mean to say anything! I tried so hard to force it back down but . . . how does he keep making me blurt out like that? It's like he's not even trying!

And now Sora's got this triumphant expression on his face, like he's won something amazing. Who knows, he probably has, it takes a lot to make me say anything.

His triumph quickly fell into a frown at the sight of my paling face. I know what he's going to ask, but a part of me hopes he doesn't because at least then I wouldn't have to give him an answer. I wouldn't be able to lie to him either, that's why I'm afraid of saying anything more.

He doesn't need to know the truth. He wouldn't understand what happened. This is something I can't tell anyone . . . (I promised.)

"Why do you always look so scared when you say something?" His question was so curious, so innocent—so oblivious to the pain he was inflicting in me.

He had no clue of the memories he was provoking.

"It feels like . . ." His eyes clouded over in thought, like he was struggling to find the right words to express what he saying. "It feels like you're trying to hide something. Like maybe you're afraid that you might say something wrong?"

He looked deeply into my eyes. So much concern, worry and curiosity swimming deep within his own ocean colored eyes. I felt something inside me stir, something that wanted me to just spill out every secret that I knew, but I gripped my mouth shut tightly.

I won't break my promise.

I won't say anything.

Not even to someone like Sora.

_"Silentium. Know what it means? It's Latin for silence. So you better keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut unless you want me to slit that sleek little neck. Got it?"_

**. . . sadistic twinkling green . . .**

**. . . burning, throbbing, sharp . . .**

**. . . red, warm, blood . . .**

**. . . Pain, pain, pain . . .**

_"Roxas!"_

I was snapped out of my daze, flashes of green, red, silver still teasing my vision like haunted memories that they were. My back is on fire again, but I keep my face void of any pain. Sora's voice still echoed in my mind, he had been watching me, his eyes pooled with worry.

I can only imagine how I look like to him: face pale, body trembling slightly, and a sheet of cold sweat on my forehead. He probably thinks it's because of the concussion. Good. I would rather have him think that than tell him the truth. Anything is better than that . . .

"Maybe you should rest a bit. You're starting to look sicker than before."

I nodded in agreement and allowed him to lead me up the stairs to my room. A part of me begs to tell him everything, the whole truth about myself and what torments me but the other half of me wants him to go away and leave me be. I ignore both my wants. I'm too tired to fight, too tired to think and too damn tired to care that he took my cookies and laid them on top of the nightstand.

I'm out like a light before he even tucks me in. And for a moment, I thought I saw him smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Saturday came a lot faster than I thought it would. Actually, it came in the form of a bouncy, ecstatic, blonde haired, blue-eyed, squealing twin sister who practically barged into my bedroom at nine freaking thirty in the morning. I barely registered the flash of white and yellow that ran from my bed to my closet and tossed a whole bunch of clothes right on top of my head before she spun around smiling. Or what I can assume was a smile, I can't see through clothes you know.

"Hurry up and get dressed onii-chan! Everyone's waiting for you downstairs." She practically squealed.

She's treating this like it's the very first time we had company.

Before I even get the chance to reply, Naminé's already slammed the door shut and I can hear her footsteps scramble down the stairs. It wasn't until she was completely gone that it finally clicked in my head.

Everyone. Downstairs. Waiting.

How the HELL do they know where we live?!

I grumble in protest, tossing the warmth of my bed sheets off my body and grabbed the pile of clothes my twin so nicely picked out for me. I honestly don't care what she picked out; my mind is still lost in the haze of sleep when another fun fact smacked me upside the head.

Riku was in my house.

My eyes narrowed angrily. That bastard.

Maybe I'm being a little biased this time but I don't care! He's the one who started it first so unless he decides to suck up his own pride and apologizes; he'll just have to remain my enemy for now. For some reason, that thought makes me feel really, really satisfied.

I pulled on my gray pants, zippered the black vest and slipped on my half-checkered with red lapel jacket. And just so that I feel the outfit is complete, I dug into the drawer of my nightstand and pulled out a checkered wrist warmer and two cloth rings and slipped them on. I hurried off to the bathroom because even if I was dressed, I still wasn't awake enough to face a group of babbling teenagers.

-x-X-x-

Naminé hates me.

She must really, really hate me.

She didn't let me make breakfast for myself before she literally dragged me outside the house. She kept assuring me that I'll get something to eat at the café but one, we've been walking for like an hour and two: I SEE NO CAFÉ!

Needless to say, not only am I cranky for having my twin wake me up so early in the damn morning but now I'm three times as cranky for being a starving, sleep deprived teenager.

Thank god I'm not the only one who feels this way.

Most of the guys in our group were practically sleep deprived. On more than one occasion, Hayner tripped over his own feet and knocked into Olette so many times that she gave up pushing him away and allowed him to drape an arm around her shoulders as they walked. Pence trailed behind all of us, his brown eyes half-lidded in sleep and his whole body sagging forward. I kept thinking that at any moment he was just going to keel over on the floor. Sora and Riku fared better than the rest of us, even though it was plainly obvious that Kairi must have dragged them out of bed. Riku managed to conceal his sleep deprivation, but his best friend didn't do so well.

Cue in Sora's fifth yawn.

I don't know how the girls can do it. Olette seemed a little tired, which I figured, was normal. But it was nothing compared to the cheerfulness of Naminé, who was practically glowing (must be the white dress) right next to an alert and fully aware—and smothered in pink—Kairi. (And once more, I'm instantly reminded of how much a like they look walking side by side like that.)

The sleepy blanket of silence that descended upon us was quickly broken by the sound of strange, low grumbling. That was the agonizing sound of my empty stomach, arguing with me for being so stupid in not picking up some toast to keep my hunger at bay. Various eyes glanced over my direction. I felt my cheeks heat up in embarrassment, my eyes automatically focusing on the ground.

Kairi suddenly giggled which only made my whole face flare up in heat. "Don't worry Roxas, once we make it to the Usual Spot I promise we'll get to eat breakfast. I know you boys must be hungry by now."

"Hungry is an understatement, Kairi." Riku muttered.

"Yeah, we're starving!" Sora whined, leaning his whole weight against Riku for dramatic effect.

Kairi only rolled her eyes when another voice from beside me piped up. "Why are we going to the Usual Spot anyway?" inquired the sleep deprived Hayner with a quick yawn.

He finally pulled away from Olette (who looked slightly disappointed) and threw his arms up in form of a stretch. Looks like Mr. Sandman finally smacked Hayner awake.

"I left something really important in there the other day," Kairi replied, her cheeks turning to a slight tinge of pink. "And I'd feel a lot more comfortable when it's with me and not lying around."

Maybe it was my imagination or a hallucination through sleep deprivation, but I thought I saw—I swear I saw—Kairi glancing over toward Sora and Riku. No, I know I saw that, but I think it was my imagination at the person she was looking at. From my angle, it was hard to tell, but a part of me feels that Kairi Uchida was staring—and blushing—right at Sora Leonhart.

Subconsciously, I frowned.

-x-x-x-

That "important something" Kairi left behind in the "Usual Spot" (which apparently was a hidden place inside an alley) turned out to be a golden necklace in the shape of a key with one huge heart hanging off the chain and another smaller heart inside. Tiny rhinestones were etched all around the outer heart and on the two teeth of the key, glittering and gleaming whenever the rays of sun shone on Kairi's chest.

When her little side mission was finally complete, everyone—happily—left the Usual Spot to the nearest café. The eight of us pushed two tables against each other and gathered around, four on one side, four on the other. I sat on the very last end, Sora across from me, Naminé to the right. Kairi sat across from her, Riku to her left, Pence across from him and Olette and Hayner across from each other.

Our waitress, a blonde haired, pony-tail wearing woman, trotted toward our table and handed over the lunch menus (it was pushing lunch anyway) before flashing us her work smile and jotting down our drinks. She scurried off soon after, leaving us to contemplate lunch.

Silence descended among us again, the only sound audible was the sooth café music that played while everyone skimmed through his or her menus for lunch. I was busy mulling over between getting Naminé to order me a sandwich or a cheeseburger when Hayner suddenly blurted, "If Roxas is mute how can he order lunch?"

Suddenly, the table on Hayner's side thumped loudly and the blonde instantly winced in pain. I glanced above my menu, catching sight of Olette's leafy green eyes glaring disapprovingly back at the boy across from her. I smirked inwardly, I'm not mute damn it. (I wish Sora would stop spreading that rumor.)

"He's not mute Hayner." The brunette hissed, her eyes glancing apologetically toward mine for a moment.

Naminé giggled beside me, her azure eyes flashing in my direction. She leaned closer toward my ear and whispered, "Do I have to order for you or will you grace us with your beautiful voice, onii-chan?"

She's being sarcastic again.

As a reply, I pulled my menu toward her face and tapped the lunch I wanted to order. She pouted in disappointment, but snatched the menu from my grasp and laid it down on top of hers.

"You win this round, Roxas." She whispered. (Oh first name basis now, huh?)

"Speaking of which," Kairi began, her eyes instantly glance toward Riku. "There was something that Riku wanted to tell you, Roxas. Right Sora?"

She nudged the brunet discretely in the ribs with her elbow, making him jump in surprise. He fumbled with his menu for a second, his crystalline eyes jumping away from the menu, to mine, then toward Riku.

"Oh, yeah," he grinned as though he suddenly remembered what he was supposed to remember.

Sora and Kairi practically glared in Riku's direction, causing everyone else to stare at said silveret.

He scrunched up his handsome face in thought (I could see the rusted wheels turning) before his shoulder's sagged in defeat, his wall of pride crumbling down to rubble. Ironically, my own pride swelled at the sight of his defeat. He heaved a sigh, his menu tipping downward, his sea green eyes finding mine and he opened his mouth slowly to say, _"I'm sorry."_

Oh how delicious that apology sounded in my ears!

I smiled, albeit small and a little smug, but it was a smile. He returned the gesture. Apology accepted.

-x-X-x-

After dining, the rest of us decided to check out the Seven Wonders of Twilight Town in Sunset Terrace. We spent the whole day disproving most of the "wonders", all completely by accident though, and ended up finishing the day with a round of sea-salt ice cream for everyone. Guys' treat! Now that's a perfect way to end a Saturday!

Or at least, it would have been the perfecting ending. (I'm still new at this friend thing.)

We were on our way back to the Usual Spot when Kairi said the most random thing I ever heard in my entire life: "Uke or Seme?"

Collective groans (mostly from the guys) and giggles (curtsey of Naminé and Olette) rang throughout the alley. I only watched the others with the most confused look I could muster.

Olette, having noticed my puzzled expression, decided to elaborate on the red head's completely random question.

"It's a game," She smiled, slowing her pace so that she was neck and neck to mine. "I found it on the Internet last summer and decided to turn it into a card game for whenever I throw sleepovers at my house."

This time it was Hayner who let out an audible, exasperated groan. "And every time we get an even crowd together, Kairi always wants to play a game."

"Don't be so immature Hayner," Kairi pouted, her blue eyes shooting daggers at the blonde.

"Yeah Hayner," Pence smiled enthusiastically. "It's actually kind of fun."

Hayner shot the chubby teen a disbelieving look before his expression molded into a skeptical glare. "Are you sure you're not just gay, Pence?"

The dark haired brunet gave a half-hearted shrug, completely dismissing the question in total silence.

We reached the Usual Spot seconds later, filing into the hideout one by one. Riku, Hayner and Olette took a seat on the couch while Kairi rummaged through the junk pile for the game. Naminé sat on a stool by the couch, her sketchpad digging into her thighs as she held it up with one hand and drew with the other. Pence took a spot on the ground near the couch; his fingers slipping into a crate nearby filled with what I assume are comics. Sora, on the other hand, leaned his back against the entrance, his arms resting behind his head and his eyes focused on Kairi. As for me, I opted in standing in the middle of the room like a jackass.

"Found it!" The red head exclaimed, pulling out a shoebox from beneath the pile.

The girl's literally flew out of their spots and hurried toward the center of the room just as Kairi tipped off the cover. Riku and Hayner mirrored exasperated expressions before they pushed themselves off the couch and joined the circle with the girls. I sat down next to Olette; Sora sat beside Kairi and me, a small smile spreading across his face in the process.

Inside the box, Kairi pulled out a bundle of cards rubber banned together and ten other cards two sizes too big than the rest. She flipped the faces of the ten big cards, stacking them on top of each other in the center of the circle before shuffling the rest of the smaller ones. After the shuffling was done, she grabbed the six-sided dice that remained in the box then tossed it back into the box.

She got double sixes: twelve.

With a smile, she handed Sora the dice. He tossed them as well and got double fives: ten.

Then it was my turn—I got a two and a three: five.

And so on it went.

In the end, the person with the highest number—Kairi—got to be tested first. Olette did the honors, reading the smaller cards and writing down Kairi's answers on a notepad that accompanied the cards. When the final answer was given, Olette flipped through the large ten cards and pulled out Kairi's final result card: Badass Uke.

"Oh no!" She cried, snatching the card out of Olette's grip. "I was a seme two weeks ago!"

Riku suddenly grinned, his eyes flashing mischievously. He was about to open his mouth in retort when Kairi shot him a dangerous glare that instantly killed whatever sarcastic remark he was about to make.

She pouted in disappointment, handing the card back to Olette, who shuffled them around again. I still never got the chance to see what the other cards were.

"Pence is next." The brunette smiled, picking up the pile of smaller cards and the whole game started over again.

I honestly don't see how Kairi can find this game remotely interesting. It looked like she and the other girls were enjoying themselves, but all the guys just humored them—except for Pence, he was genuinely laid back about the whole thing. His result card didn't surprise me at all either: Clueless Uke. And by the look of his face, he wasn't surprised either. (Maybe he's gotten it before?)

The cycle began again and again, going around the circle from the person with the highest number to the person with the lowest number. Until it finally reached number ten and now it was Sora's turn to take the test.

He answered every question honestly, enthusiastically; he was literally jumping in his spot whenever a ridiculous question came up. (In all honesty, the whole test itself was ridiculous.) He felt so sure of himself that he knew what his results were going to be. I mean, I've never seen his eyes look so determined and competitive before.

So, when Olette finally summed up all his answers and pulled out the correct result card out of the pile, the whole group burst out into laughter. Except for me of course, I had no idea what was going on.

Sora grabbed the card from the brunette and gawked at it with horrified eyes. He looked as if he just received an F in Foods. (Like that's possible.)

"No way!" he cried, flipping the card over and over in his hands in hopes that the face on the card would change into something better. When it didn't, like I expected it not to, he finally threw his hands into the air in defeat. "I can't be an uke! I was a seme last time!"

"You're not just any uke," Hayner laughed heartily, "But a FLAMING UKE!" He roared, his arms clutching his stomach as he fell onto his backside.

"Wha-what'd you do?" Riku stammered breathlessly, "Get gayer?" There was a five-second moment of stillness when Riku and Hayner burst into another laughing fit.

Naminé stifled her giggles behind the palm of her hands, but the tears threatening to seep from her shut eyes was enough to tell me she was about to keel over too. Olette and Pence both chuckled lightly, neither laughing so hard but not trying to fight their laughter. Only Kairi seemed to be genuinely shocked by the results as Sora was, but the initial shock washed over her and soon she was laughing along with the others.

Sora, once again, revealed his infamous dejected puppy dog pout, but his expression only made everyone laugh even louder. It took a whole hour before everyone managed to catch their breaths and calm themselves down.

By the time the game reached its final member, I knew that everyone in the group had forgotten their results. Especially after having laughed so much at Sora's results. But not me, I still remembered damn it.

Kairi – Badass Uke

Pence – Clueless Uke

Riku - DFWM Seme

Hayner - Romantic Seme

Sora - Flaming Uke

Olette - Opportunist Seme

Roxas - Chibi Seme

Naminé - Innocent Uke

"Now here's the best part!" Kairi rejoiced, after having her mood swing back to normal after she got over the whole "Sora's a flamboyant gay" incident.

Olette picked up the notepad that held the rest of our results and took a moment to collect the data. When she finally finished, she separated the ten result cards in the center of the circle, lining them all up in such a way that had five faces turned toward Sora, myself, Olette and Naminé while the other five cards faced toward Kairi, Pence, Riku and Hayner.

She cleared her throat, flipping back her curled auburn locks that fell over her shoulders. "Okay, DFWM seme, a.k.a. Riku, is compatible with only one other person in our group." Her leafy green eyes glanced up at us, eyeing our—or mostly everyone's but mine—anticipated faces. She tucked a strain of auburn hair behind her ear and said, "And that person is…"—she paused for dramatic effect—"Kairi! The badass uke!"

There was a lot of mixed emotions through the whole circle, mine being the only indifferent one there.

Kairi looked completely surprised maybe even a little shocked but Riku's sea green eyes gleamed in triumph (though he masked his expression well.)

Pence gave them an all-knowing-smile, which gave me the impression that he knew something neither of them knew.

Naminé giggled.

Olette only smiled.

Hayner rolled his eyes. (Something about that gave me the same impression that he knew something too.)

And Sora practically burst out in laughter, like the concept itself was too funny to be any less than a joke.

Olette continued on though, not waiting for either of them to regain their composure as she read out the next possible pairing: Hayner, being a romantic seme was compatible with both Pence, the clueless uke and Naminé, the innocent uke.

The whole group laughed at that, mostly because Hayner's expression of disappointment had been funnier than Pence and Naminé's reaction. (Why the hell is my sister blushing?!)

"Since I'm an opportunist seme, I'm compatible with Pence and Naminé too, but mostly Pence." Olette smiled.

"Ew, that's like incest." Sora said bluntly. (And for some reason, that made Riku and Hayner laugh harder than before.)

Olette and Pence glanced at each other for a moment then smiled so vibrantly that it made me realize how true Sora's words were.

Olette and Pence had known each other since they were in diapers. They treated each other like brother and sister, so the thought of them being compatible only scared me . . . but somehow it didn't surprise me. The only thing that stopped my mind from mulling over the thoughts of Olette and Pence hooking up was Hayner. It was obvious that he liked Olette and it wasn't that hard to tell that Olette returned his feelings.

But when you're in high school, unrequited love is more common than hook-ups in general.

"Who's the next seme on the list Olette?" Naminé asked the moment Riku and Hayner finally silenced their laughter.

Olette glanced down at the laid out cards again before she pointed to the card labeled 'chibi seme,' my result card.

"The chibi seme, a.k.a. Roxas, is compatible with Kairi, the badass uke and Sora, the flaming uke." (Sora pouted again when Olette purposely accentuated his result card.)

Riku and Hayner burst into laughter for the fourth time, the two instantly rolling over at the look on Sora's face. Kairi didn't look so shocked or surprised this time around; in fact, she was too busy biting back her own giggle fit again.

I chanced a glance toward Naminé but I instantly regretted it the moment I saw that mischievous gleam in her innocent eyes. If she was supposed to be the "innocent uke" then Olette must have screwed up somewhere because that look she was giving me sent shivers down my spine. Those naughty little wheels in her head were turning again.

I swear my twin must really hate me.

-x-X-x-

Naminé and I left the Usual Spot the moment we realized how late it had gotten. When we left, the others were still lounging around the hideout: Kairi and Olette instantly locked into a gossip session about the game results; Pence lost to the world of comic books, and Riku and Hayner still making fun of Sora and his result card.

I wanted to ask them if any of them went home let alone go to sleep, but I thought better of it. Mostly because I didn't want to have to deal with squealing girls, Sora reminding me that I probably sound like some pop singer or Riku and Hayner gawking at me because I'm not a mute. So in the end I swallowed my curiosity and followed my sister out of the Alley.

She didn't speak a word to me until we reached the street where our house resided. Mom's car was still missing from the driveway, but Cloud's bike was already hidden under the sheet for the weekend. Glancing up at the side window, I noticed that his bedroom lights were on as well—Cloud was home.

"So onii-chan," my sister's voice snapped me out of my thoughts and I turned my gaze in her direction. She held her hands behind her back, her eyes focusing intently on her white sandals. On her face, I caught a trace of a small smile, a gesture I subconsciously returned.

"What do you think of them?" She didn't look up when she asked, I assumed she was hoping I would say something, but I kept my lips shut tightly. When she was met with silence, she looked up at me, her eyes instantly reading the expression on my face.

What did I think of them? I thought they were okay. I mean, I've always watched them discreetly back when we were in Junior High. I knew they were nice people, nothing surprised me at all when I hung out with them. Of course I liked them. They were fun.

Naminé's small smile quickly grew wider, her azure eyes sparkling bright. "It's better than being alone isn't it?"

She didn't wait for me to respond. She didn't have to. She already knew my answer.

Anything is better than being alone.

-x-X-x-

My mom always says that when you're in High school, the school days just seem to pass you by. Cloud says that when you're in high school, the school days don't fly fast enough. In this case, I don't know who's right or wrong but so far mom's words are winning.

One minute the remaining summer days embrace me with a soft breeze, sunny skies and leafy trees. The next, the brisk wind seeps into my skin, the trees are bare, the skies are clouded and autumn's got a tight grip on this little town of Twilight. One moment it's the first day of school, the next it's the last week of October and Halloween isn't even three days away.

I guess that's what happens when you hang out with friends.

That's right, I said it: friends.

That probably makes me sound like I'm some sort of quiet high school loner but I can't help it. I can't remember the last time I hung out with so many people like this.

Ever since that fateful Saturday, Naminé has dragged me to every gathering, invited me to every plan and every whatever with the whole group that they've considered me their friend. Sometimes it's the whole group when Selphie Keck, Tidus Morita and Wakka Nakai (I remembered his name!) are with us. Other times, it's the usual eight and even more so, it's the usual four. But lately, it's only been two: Sora and myself.

The two of us haven't done much though, only skateboarding down at the park or watching Struggle Tournaments at his house or even just hanging out to get some sea-salt ice cream after school. We don't do it every day, mostly because Sora has Dueling club every Monday, Wednesday and Friday and usually either Riku, Kairi, Tidus, or Hayner are with us.

I've noticed something though, in almost all my classes Sora ended up sitting next to me or behind me or even in front of me in some way. When it's lunchtime, he always tries to save me a seat and he always rejoices whenever we're on the same team for gym. Though, I'm just assuming it's because I'm his new friend despite our years in Junior High.

Don't get me wrong. It's nice to be noticed once in a while and its nice having people I can hang around with. It beats my earlier days of loneliness.

And even throughout the whole get-togethers, the breakfast/brunches/lunches the gang gets at cafes, and the mini adventures we have every other week (more like Kairi forgetting something in the Usual Spot), no one but Sora has heard me say much of anything. Actually, the very last time I had to say anything at all was that Friday before Saturday when Sora came to visit. (He's been anxious to hear my voice again though, but I won't let him win this time.)

So on that very Thursday morning during homeroom, we had ten minutes to spare before our first classes of the day.

Sora (having switched seats to the back, much to Kairi's chagrin)leaned back against his chair, his head laid back as he balanced his pencil between his upper lip and his nose.

Kairi sat on top of his desk, her mind trailing on elsewhere while her finger absentmindedly fiddled with the heart-key necklace that she wore under her uniform shirt. She was seemingly unaware of Naminé, who sat in the chair in front of me (during wait periods like this), doodling happily on her sketchpad. Standing behind her, her eyes widened in awe, was the ash brown haired Selphie.

As for me, my forehead was pressed against the cool top of my desk, my mind teetering between daydreaming and . . . well, daydreaming. I would have fallen asleep if it weren't for the fact that the whole class was too loud for my liking.

Judging by the noise level, either Hayner, Tidus and Wakka started up another sexist debate against Alice, Wendy and Olette, OR it's another game of "who's gay and who's straight?" (It's actually kind of fun...)

"Hey guys," Pence's voice greeted us. "Did you hear the rumors? There's going to be a Halloween Bash at the Old Mansion."

Clank! Sora's chair slammed back on its legs. "Huh?"

"But, isn't that place abandoned?" Kairi asked, her voice laced in concern.

"Yeah it is, which is why a bunch of third years are going to use it as a place for the biggest Halloween Party of the year." Pence sounded enthusiastic, a little too enthusiastic for an easygoing guy like him.

I raised my head from my desk, slouching comfortably in my chair enough so I could see all the expressions on my friend's faces.

Kairi looked generally concerned and skeptical about the idea of third years throwing a Halloween party at an abandoned mansion like the one in the outskirts of town.

Sora's eyes were bright with excitement and eagerness. That look alone had me wondering what he was thinking about.

Naminé looked disinterested but Selphie was practically bobbing up and down on her feet.

"Really?" She squealed delightfully, her fingers suddenly lacing together as she brought it to her face. "Oh! An upperclassmen party! Can you imagine how much fun that's going to be?"

"Fun? Don't you mean wild?" Olette's voice chimed.

All eyes fell onto the brunette haired girl. One hand on her hip and an eyebrow raised upward. The ever so responsible Olette has joined the party!

"We're only first years, crashing into a wild party thrown by a bunch of baboon third years would be dangerous. Not to mention, we could get in trouble if we get caught."

"Aw Olly!" Selphie's lower lip quivered in her own version of a puppy dog pout. "But it'd be so much fun if we go!"

"And we wouldn't be crashing it really," Pence nodded with a knowing smile.

Olette crossed her arms skeptically, silently urging Pence to continue.

His smile broadened. "The third years throwing the party are friends with people we know."

"Who?" Naminé inquired.

"Cloud and Leon."

At that moment, Naminé and I had a twin moment. Our eyes widened, our jaws dropped and only one person managed to register the complete and utter impossibility that my too-cool-for-himself brother was involved with that party in any way.

"No way!" Sora practically yelled, already shooting up from his chair. "There's no way my brother and Cloud could be involved with a party like that. They're so . . . so—"

"Cool!" Selphie squealed, jumping up and down in her place.

"Who's cool? What's going on?"

Hayner, Tidus and Wakka finally joined the gathering and off Pence and Selphie went filling the trio in on the news. I tuned them out completely, my mind too muddled in shock to even process anything else.

Cloud was too aloof, anti-social, emo, something—there's no way he could know a bunch of third years crazy enough to throw an outrageous party at an abandon mansion!

I glanced up at Sora, noticing right away that he looked almost as surprised as Naminé and myself.

Leon was kind of like Cloud in a way too. He was aloof, anti-social, slightly emo in his own way and god knows what else. He had more possibilities of knowing crazy third years more than my brother did, but then again, Cloud and Leon were considered the few hottest and popular third years ever to hit Twilight High. I guess having a reputation as some sexy piece of ass was enough to get you invited anywhere.

Which kind of had me wondering why Sora wasn't being flaunted over by a bunch of drooling pack of crazy, rabid, screeching—I should stop before I get carried away.

And no, I do not think Sora's hot.

Well it's not that he's ugly. I mean, he's got such a lithe, feminine, toned, sexy, tanned—oh ho! I see what you did there. I won't fall for it damn it! I admit, he's got a good figure, well enough to receive at least five love letters weekly. Maybe not the twenty that Riku gets daily or the god knows how many that both Leon and Cloud get swamped with but he's good looking enough to be considered a fine piece of ass by the crazy, rapid, screeching, foaming pile of fangirls that is Twilight High's girl population!

Luckily somebody chose that moment to ruin the crashing and burning train that were my thoughts. And that person took the form of my younger-by-three-minutes sister.

"Roxas, you don't think nii-san forgot about reimu this year?"

"'Reimu'?" Sora tilted his head curiously.

Naminé nodded, a small, sweet smile spreading across her face. "Reimu is the name of the comet we saw when we were kids. Roxas called it 'reimu' because the comet gave my family their heart's desires."

My sister didn't notice, though that didn't surprise me, but the looks on everyone's faces quickly became awed, shocked, skeptical, curious and surprised.

Kairi's eyes seemed to light up at the sound of the comet's name, almost as though she had just got the greatest idea in the world. Sora looked like he usually did, excited, curious and definitely hoping to check it out. Hayner was obviously mulling over the thoughts of the comet, Olette looked slightly skeptical, Selphie had her fingers laced together again with her eyes wide and dreamy at probably how "romantic" reimu sounded. Pence looked genuinely intrigued, the wheels in Tidus' head were turning and Wakka only seemed confused.

But my sister continued on with her story about the time when we were both six and we wished on Reimu to grant us our wishes. The only reason I named the comet reimu in the first place was because of what happened throughout the week after the comet's first appearance.

My mom, who had wished on Reimu to find her path in life, found a job as a nurse at a nearby hospital. It turned out that her passion was helping the misfortunate. She's been working there ever since.

My brother wished for something—he never told us what—but he said his wish was granted shortly after mine and Naminé's were. We never found out what it was, but every time we recount the story, he always smiles to himself and for a brief ten seconds of his life he's actually nice to me. Sometimes I really wonder what it was that he wished for.

Naminé, having been extremely shy back when were six, wished to be more accepting and open about those around her. Three days after the comet, she met her "soul sisters": Olette and Selphie. She's never shut her trap since.

And my wish . . . I wished for a friend.

My wish was granted, for a while, until she moved away when I was eight. I hadn't seen her since.

"Reimu is supposed to show up this Halloween," Naminé continued. "Roxas and I always check the astronomical calendar to make sure we never miss it."

"It's supposed to be beautiful this Saturday!" Kairi beamed. "That means we'll get to see Reimu without any clouds!"

"And the Old Mansion is on the outskirts of Twilight Town," Pence added. "The comet should be easy to spot in the sky without the haze of city lights." Way to go Pence, manipulating one topic to favor the original topic.

Olette wasn't fooled though. While everyone else seemed to marvel over the possibilities of their wishes getting granted by the Reimu Comet, the responsible brunette kept a hand on her hip, her green eyes sparkling with skepticism.

"Oh Olly, don't you want to get your wish granted too?" Selphie pouted again.

"Yeah! Imagine all the things that you could wish for." Sora beamed. (If I didn't know any better, I would have thought he was picturing himself eating.) Suddenly, the brunet sprang right out of his chair and slammed his palms against his desk excitedly, "Imagine an endless supply of sea-salt ice cream!"

My eyes widened at the sudden thought and automatically my lips started to move: "If that wish came true, I'd love you forever."

Sora's cheeks suddenly flamed bright red and maybe it would have confused me if it weren't for the instant realization that smacked me upside the head like a ton of bricks. He's got acute hearing when it comes to me speaking... which means... he heard me... Oh fu-I slammed my forehead against my desk in panic. It hurt like hell and the loud bonk that sounded only caught the attention of Naminé and Selphie, but no one else seemed to have noticed that I said anything. For a second there, I'm really glad the class is so noisy.

It wasn't until Hayner suddenly threw himself on top of the nearest empty desk that I lifted my head. His whole face was lit up like a thousand-watt light bulb and he mimicked the same toothy grin that Sora had plastered on his face only a few seconds ago. "An endless supply of sea salt ice cream? How about wishing for riches!"

"And fame!" Tidus cried, jumping onto the chair next to Hayner with his own hands raised over his head. (They look like they were about to break into song.)

"Or a date to homecoming," Pence added with a nod.

It was only a suggestion, a very small hardly audible over the loudness of the class, but Pence's words were like bombs exploding in everyone's ears. The atmosphere—that teetered dangerously between excitement and breaking out into random singing—quickly transformed into piping hot embarrassment of realization.

I felt just like them.

A heavy silence fell between us, allowing me to finally hear the conversations that were going on throughout the rest of the class, but those were hardly interesting compared to the expressions on everyone's faces.

Selphie's eyes were gleaming happily, lost in the romantic atmosphere of her imagination. Pence looked pleased with his friend's reactions. Hayner was an impressing shade of beet red, Wakka was still bemused, Tidus seemed to mull over the suggestion thoughtfully and Sora seemed slightly pale in the face. Kairi's cheeks were tinged pink, her blue eyes diverted away from everyone else as she fingered her heart-key necklace nervously. Olette finally looked convinced.

She sighed, breaking the sudden blanket of silence before crossing her arms and closing her eyes thoughtfully.

"Okay," She gave a quick nod of her head, causing her auburn locks to bounce. "As long as we don't get into any trouble."

"Speaking of trouble, there's a little tiny problem," added Tidus.

"And what's that?"

"How do we get in a third year party?"

"No biggy," replied Hayner, who was still sitting on top of the desk, his brown eyes quickly gazing in Naminé, Sora and my direction. "Leave that to the Uchiyama twins and Leon's baby brother." He grinned.

-x-X-x-

What the HELL did I get myself into?

Hayner must be crazy and Pence must be completely insane.

The Uchiyama twins may be half-related to the ever so cool Cloud Strife, but that doesn't mean that Naminé and I can convince Cloud to let us do anything.

When lunchtime came around, instead of eating lunch with the usual posse, the three of us were forced to look for our older siblings outside on the lawn.

We found them by one of the cherry blossom trees, Cloud half asleep against the bark and Leon standing beside him with his attention focused on the girls having lunch on one of the picnic baskets they brought. The rest of their posse were seemingly gathered where ever the food went, so seeing Cloud and Leon almost alone by the tree had me thinking there was something else going on.

I try not to pry into my brother's business, especially when he's always nosing into mine, but this was something too good to pass up. (I still didn't forget what Sora told me during the second day of school.)

"Nii-san!" Naminé cried, waving a slender hand into the air.

Leon turned his head, noting us in the distance before he sent a kick into Cloud's ribs. Whether it was hard or not, I never knew, but it was enough to make Cloud jump awake and send his super scary glare at Leon.

"Leon! Cloud!" Sora greeted them enthusiastically.

"Ohmigod, Sora!" Came the cheerful cry of one of the brunettes from the picnic blanket.

And just like that, Sora's attention span wandered away from the point of our mission and he trotted over to the picnic, greeting all the third years that he knew with a bright happy smile. Leon rolled his eyes. I'm guessing this happens a lot.

"Nii-san, how could you?" Naminé rested her hands on her hips. "You know the Reimu comet is returning this Saturday and yet you were invited to go to a Halloween party at the Old Mansion?"

"Where did you hear that?"

"More like where didn't I hear it." She rolled her water blue eyes. "The whole school knows about it!"

"What makes you think I'm going?" Cloud quirked an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I'm letting you two go?"

Naminé crossed her arms against her chest, her brows knitting together cutely. "Nii-san, the Old Mansion is located in the outskirts of Twilight Town where there are no city lights to interfere with star gazing."

"And it is because the Old Mansion is so remote that I don't want you or Roxas at that party."

"Relax Cloud, why not just let them go?"

Cloud's left eye twitched in agitation. He directed his glare back toward the brunet haired third year, who continued to lean against the bark of the tree without a care in the world.

"Did you forget who's exactly throwing the party?" his eyes flashed dangerously. "And exactly on whose property it was going to be on?"

Leon visibly paled, but he recollected his cool and brushed off Cloud's questions. "What's your point Strife?"

(Oh, burn! He used his last name.) The corner of my mouth twitched.

Cloud didn't seem fazed by this. "I don't know, Squall. Maybe it's the fact that Axel and Demyx are holding a wild party in the abandon mansion that a certain man named Morikawa bought just last month?"

Now it was Leon's eye that twitched.

"Morikawa?" Naminé repeated the familiarity of the name formed in her mouth with ease. "Riku's surname is Morikawa. Could it be that his brother Sephiroth bought the land and the Old Mansion?"

"Huh? That sounds familiar," Sora muttered, finally returning us by the tree—his hands resting comfortably at the back of his head. He looked up the barren tree thoughtfully before he said, "I think Riku mentioned that last summer. But I didn't know Axel and Demyx knew Sephiroth." He frowned.

"Demxy doesn't," Leon muttered with a roll of his eyes, "but Axel's twin does."

They shuddered. It was brief, hardly noticeable since the autumn wind decided to blow at that moment, but I knew the real reason why Cloud and Leon shuddered.

I don't know what Leon's story is with Riku's older brother Sephiroth, but I know Cloud's apparent dislike for the Fujiwara Twins stems back to elementary when they were in the same class. I remember he used to call them the Satanic Duo for their mischievous, taunting, and obnoxious ways. I think it had something to do with Halloween, during one of Reno and Axel's pranks against Cloud that went horribly, horribly wrong.

All I know is, he's kept his hairstyle differently ever since.

"You three are not going and that's final."

"But Cloud—"

"Discussion over Sora." Cloud's eyes flashed dangerously once more.

Sora's protest died in his throat and he knitted his lips shut tightly. Naminé and the brunet exchanged mirrored expressions; two crestfallen frowns on two deviously angelic faces were too much for me to handle.

I sighed in defeat, fighting back that annoying voice in the back of my head that begged me to keep my trap shut, and opened my mouth for the final stretch.

"Onii-sama," it came out low, raspy, yet it was enough to gather their attention and soon all eyes were on me with anticipation. "If you don't let us go…" my voice grew less raspy the more I spoke, but I never raised its pitch. Sora, Naminé, Cloud and Leon were practically leaning toward me subconsciously. "…I'll tell everyone your darkest secret."

It was a total bullshit lie. I don't even know if Cloud has any secret he wants to keep to himself and even if he does, I'm damn sure he'd never let it slip. I was taking a huge risk by doing this but damn it! I can't have Naminé and Sora pout like that ever! At least not in front of me!

Cloud's expression was stoic, as usual, but his eyes kept peering deeply into mine—trying his best to read whatever truth there was to my bold face lie. I think he found me out, but he never once said it out loud. Instead he sighed and retracted that ever-piercing stare away from mine.

"Fine, go." He sounded exasperated, but that might be my imagination. "But when trouble comes, get out."

Naminé and Sora burst into cheers, their arms instantly wrapping around my body and embraced me in a suffocating tight hug that oddly smelled like french vanilla. Naminé doesn't have vanilla scented body wash, it must be coming from Sora. He smells really good. If we didn't have to go to class, I would have nuzzled my face against his skin just so I could memorize that sweet scented scent of his...

Wait, what?

My face heated with embarrassment and I could only pray that Sora didn't notice a thing. Luckily, he didn't. Neither did Naminé.

I couldn't say that for Cloud and Leon though.

I swear, before we left, those two were smirking.

-x-X-x-

We missed lunch thanks to our side mission and we went on through the day with empty stomachs and cranky attitudes. Or at least, that's how I was through the rest of the day. Naminé was too excited about getting to see Reimu again and Sora was too excited about going to a third year party.

Personally, I didn't care. I just wanted food. And something to lick. (I should get some ice cream after school.)

"Riku why didn't you tell us there was going to be a party at the Old Mansion this Halloween?" Sora's question brought me back to reality.

One glance around the room told me that I had finally reached the locker rooms for gym. (I really need to stop daydreaming when I'm alone.) I stood in front of my locker, one hand clutching the green metal door, the other holding onto my gym uniform. I always waited for most of the guys to get away from the bathroom stalls before I changed into my clothes. Like I said before, I'm not really subconscious about my body as a whole—hell I don't mean to brag but I've got a pretty hot figure myself—I just don't want people catching sight of the scars on my back.

Namely people like Sora and Riku.

Especially Sora.

Mainly Sora.

Screw Riku.

When the crowd of testosterone finally thinned out enough for my liking, I grabbed my uniform, slammed the locker shut and hurried off to claim one of the bathroom stalls. In all the while, I missed out on Sora and Riku's conversation.

-x-X-x-

"So how'd you convince Leon to let you go to the party?" Riku asked. "I thought your brother was pretty overprotective about stuff like that?"

We sat outside on top of the frozen cold stony bleachers, the oval of the track field right in front of us and the sound of Phil barking out orders to the two opposing teams as they ran laps around. (Golden Chocobos versus Twilight Knights this time.)

Riku's team, The Nobodies, was scattered all over the stone bleachers just like Sora's and my team. That's why Riku sat with us.

We sat on the highest row of the stone bleachers; hands all tucked into our warm sweats as the brisk autumn wind brushed against our faces once more. Despite the fact that it's cold as hell outside, our gym teachers—Phil and Kronk—failed to check the weather and had us outside on the track field running laps.

Kronk was the only one documenting the race, Phil was too busy cheering, blurting advice and random false insults to get the morale up and going. From what I can tell, the Golden Chocobos were in the lead by three runners.

"Actually, I didn't get to do anything. It was all Roxas."

I tore my eyes away from the track field and found myself staring at the group of girls gathered on the very first row of the stands. Kairi, Selphie and Olette were huddle together, looking as though they were completely chilled to the bone. On closer examination, I noticed that their mouths were rapidly moving in low hushed whispers. Sometimes, their eyes even darted toward our direction before they sheepishly glanced away.

The more I watched, the more I came to realize they were talking about us.

"No way. How the hell did Roxas convince your brother?"

"He blackmailed Cloud."

The duo beside me fell silent in thought, either Riku trying to imagine what I used to blackmail my own brother with or Sora reminiscing about what happened a few hours ago. Whatever the case was I wasn't paying attention.

Kairi, Olette and Selphie kept glancing up this way then turning away with soft little giggles. I was tempted to go down there and ask them what they were giggling about had I known that they would probably skin me alive for being nosey. Girls are scary like that. They never noticed my stares though; their eyes were always focused mostly on Sora and Riku. Always.

My heart twinge at the thought.

It's kind of funny how someone can be happy with making so many friends and still feel an emptiness inside their hearts. So even if I'm really happy that I get to hang out with everyone like a normal kid again, I guess I'll still feel a little lonely.

The trio of girls glanced our way again, only this time did Olette and Selphie look my way. Instantly, their eyes widened in shock and they spun around in embarrassment before giggling uncontrollably into their hands. Kairi's violet-blue eyes never strayed from Sora's direction.

Another weird jolt of pain picked at my heart again.

(I don't like that look in her eyes... but why should I care?)

I glanced away from the trio of girls, the silence that fell on Sora and Riku finally broken when the boys realized that they were being watched by feminine eyes. They were calling out to them now, laughing, joking, Sora made funny faces that had the three of them chuckling and giggling. I tuned them all out, everything; the world fell into complete silence because what I saw standing beside Coach Phil froze my very blood to ice.

Standing there—in the flesh—next to Phil—so oblivious—with a blue plaid skirt three inches too high, sheen golden blonde hair, that rivaled my own, sleeked back away from her pasty white skin and that smile—that smile—plastered so sickeningly sweet on her face. (So false, so fake.) She looked so sweet, so angelic, so innocent, so obviously fucking fake, but no one saw through her fool proof act. No one saw what I saw. (I promised. I promised.)

She spoke with Phil, face all smiles, poison green eyes all sparkles—he was so clueless, so oblivious, so hopeless. She rested her bony hands gently on his shoulder, leaning in closer, whispering, speaking, lies, everything. (Don't listen…)

"Hey Roxas…"

She never noticed. She never looked. She kept her eyes away from mine. I was happy, so relieved, so relaxed, I hope she goes away. I hope she never sees me. I hope she doesn't turn my way.

I didn't notice I was trembling. I didn't notice that my hands were fisted or that my nails were threatening to draw blood through crescent craters against my palm. I couldn't hear the world around me or that someone was calling me or that someone was shaking my shoulder, trying to wake me, to move me, to end this nightmare.

I didn't notice.

I didn't feel.

I couldn't hear.

Until he turned. And she turned. And they stared at me. And I stared right back.

My breath caught in my throat.

Life came rushing back to me, noise, the cold autumn, the trembling, feeling, emotions, life, existence—smacked me so hard that I felt dizzy.

"Roxas Uchiyama, get down on the field now!" Phil ordered, blowing his whistle and flailing his arms around.

"Roxas come on!" Sora's voice called. He sounded far away; he was probably outside of the stands now.

"Don't just sit there and daydream, your team's waiting!" Riku sounded equally far.

I ignored them, all of them, my body stone stiff, my eyes locked on those menacing emeralds. I couldn't move if I wanted to. I couldn't speak, couldn't make a sound, I couldn't think. I can't do anything but stare.

And she smiled; oh hell did she smile that sadistic, heart stopping, pain-inducing, scream-provoking smile.

I watched her, hopelessly, helplessly, and fearfully—I fucking watched her—open that vicious mouth of her's and mouthed three words.

Three. Silent. Little. Words.

_"I see you."_

My scars instantly burst into flaming pain.

My body flew into overdrive.

I sprinted to my feet, dashed down the steps of the bleachers and without waiting for me to join my teammates, Phil blew the whistle. My teammates and Riku's team all broke into the run. I didn't want to look around to see if she was still there. I didn't want to stop or slow down. I didn't want to reach the finish line, but I kept on running.

My life, my happiness, my friends, everything was just a mass blur of everything and nothing and it didn't matter how fast I ran or how far I could go, it didn't stop the pain. It didn't stop the memories.

I could still hear her laughter. I could still feel the iciness of the sharp blade, the warmth of my running blood, the sweat that trickled down my backside. I could still feel her frozen cold hands contrasting harshly against my heated skin, pushing, pinning, holding me down—keeping me from running, from squirming, from escaping.

She's here.

She's always been here.

I should have known.

Always there, always lurking, always watching . . .

Telling . . . him where I always am.

She's a demon, a devil, a witch . . .

_Larxene is always watching._

-x-X-x-

I couldn't focus on homework so I went to eat dinner.

I couldn't stomach down any of my mom's meatloaf so I went to bed early.

I ended up not sleeping that whole night since every time I closed my eyes I was overcome with nightmares, cruel memories and burning pain that made me jolt out of my bed more than once. I stood up the whole night playing games until dawn...

I didn't wait for the bus that Friday morning and decided to walk to school instead. It didn't take me long to reach Twilight High but I never went to homeroom. I should have stayed at home, I don't even know why I came to school in the first place, but it beats having Cloud and Naminé on my case. It's already bad enough that they've been more worrisome than usual, telling them anything about what I saw yesterday would just add even more trouble.

The safest place to hide when you're trying to escape from your teachers and your friends was the library. I thought Cloud was only joking when he said the students in Twilight High don't know the library exists, I didn't understand how right he actually was. The whole room was empty except for myself and the librarian.

I don't know how long I was hiding there, or what class was going on, but it must have been a long time since the librarian kept glancing away from the book she was reading to check if I was still there. She was making me feel paranoid, so I opted to hide out near the back where I couldn't see her kind eyes.

Despite the inner turmoil that was raging on inside my head, I found out that there really was a good thing about being in a library - I fell asleep like a baby.

-x-X-x-

The bell rang, its distant, muffled ringing ripping the solace silence of the library. I heard the various footsteps of students scuttling in and out of the library (at least the bookworms), some headed for their next class, others hiding out from teachers of classes they've skipped in order to finish a project and most just coming in for study hall. As for me, I was still sitting at the table in the very back of the library, without so much of any means of leaving and partially delirious from a dreamless nap.

I think I found a reason why I never really liked libraries so much. The deaf silence was enough to force anyone to think of things that they don't ever really want to remember.

Larxene Gray . . . Larxene Gray . . . Even her name inflicts pain on my back . . .

She's been here the whole time, the whole damn time and I never noticed a thing! How couldn't I have noticed?! She must have been watching me ever since that summer, keeping tabs, spying, smirking, thinking - telling him everything that I've been doing. (My stomach lurched in repulsion at the thought.)

She must have seen me make friends . . .

She-She's . . . in my gym class . . . (I feel sick to my stomach.)

She must have been watching me that time during gym . . . she's the reason, she's the one - Oh God she knows about Sora ...and Hayner, Olette, Pence, Kairi, Riku.

She-She-

_"Silentium. Know what it means? It's Latin for silence. So you better keep that pretty little mouth of yours shut unless you want me to slit that sleek little neck. Got it?"_

_"Now, now, is that any way to treat our new toy? He's a delicate flower Larxene; I wouldn't want you breaking him so soon."_

_"No, of course not. We wouldn't want that! But seeing that face he makes when he bleeds. . ."_

**. . .sadistic, burning, yearning, hunger. . .**

**. . .lust, Lust, LUST. . .**

**STOP IT!**

I didn't want to move. I didn't want to lift my head. I didn't even want to breathe. I didn't have the strength to slip out into the halls like the rest of the students and blend into the mundane existence of high school life.

I hate the library. I hate being alone. I hate silentium.

Hanging out with friends, smiling with them, laughing with them, it's almost like nothing ever happened. I'm envious. I want to pretend my summer never existed and that I was still that kid from middle school.

I wish I was like Sora.

He's always smiling, always laughing, happy, friendly, brave, flawless, outgoing, unique . . . Innocent.

He's innocent and I'm . . .

_. . . Filthy, revolting, weak, disgusting, shameful, incomplete, disgraceful . . ._

"Great. Now I know why people don't go to libraries much." I mumbled.

I let out a long drawn out sigh—one single breath overloaded with so much grief, shame and despair that it should have technically made me feel better. But it didn't. It only made me feel empty.

"Roxas?"

I'm not surprised anymore; I've hung out with him long enough to memorize the sound of Sora's voice when I hear it. He's finally found my hiding place. I raised my head slowly, enough so that my eyes peeked up from beneath my arms. And sure enough, standing across the table was Sora, his deep ocean colored eyes filled with concern. I looked away from him, unable to look him straight in the eyes without repressing what I've been trying to repress for so long. I refuse to cry in front of him or anyone. Crying never helped anything; it only made things worse.

Larxene loves the taste of despair in my tears.

"You've been here all day huh?" He drew up a chair beside me and sat. "You had us all worried you know. We thought that maybe you weren't feeling well because of yesterday so we checked in with the nurse."

"I wasn't at the nurse's office." I muttered under my arms.

"We found that out after we left the nurse's office." He sounded amused but that didn't last long. "I thought maybe that you'd show up for English or Art, but you never did. We all got worried…especially me. Have you really been here all day?"

"Yeah," I sighed, straightening myself before slumping in my chair. "How'd you find me?"

"Belle, the librarian, she told me that you were back here." He gave me a small smile—I guess it's because he noticed my apparent talking. "I didn't know you liked books?"

I snorted at his question, finding it slightly amusing but it didn't help my mood much. "I don't, but it was the perfect hiding spot. Who'd have thought of checking the library of all places?"

There was a moment of silence where the only sounds either of us heard were the quick mutterings of gossiping teenagers and the ever so random flipping of book pages. Then—

"You're so morbid Roxas."

"I have a reason to be." I murmured.

"And what's that?"

"I'm not telling you."

"Aw, why not?" He asked with a teasing smirk, leaning closer toward me on his chair.

"It's none of your business Sora." I replied in a monotone voice, desperately trying to keep my mind away from how close he was. (Oh god he really does smell like vanilla.)

"Of course it's my business Rox," He grinned. "Friends tell friends their secrets, you know."

"I don't consider you my friend Sora." It slipped out of my mouth that complete utter bullshit of a lie, but the brunet never once faltered. It was like the comment just flew by his head.

"Don't lie to me, Rox. If you didn't consider me a friend then you wouldn't be talking to me as long as you have been right now." He was grinning like the Cheshire cat now. "I think I've made you say at least eight or nine sentences by now."

I couldn't suppress rolling my eyes. "We've been through this before Sora, I'm not mute."

"I know that… now, but most of us forget you can talk since you don't do it so much."

I shook my head with a sigh, mimicking his usual pose and pulled my hands behind my head and leaned my chair back, balancing between the two back legs as he watched.

Silence fell among us again, quieter than usual, but just like before it was broken by the most unusual comment ever: "I bet you really do have an awesome singing voice."

Another sigh. "Hey Sora?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

He laughed. "But it's true! You probably sing in the shower when no one's around."

"Take my word for it Sor, I don't sing." (Did I just call him Sor?)

"'Sor'? My name is only four letters long, Roxas. How much shorter can you make it?" He smiled, no doubt completely amused by his accidental nickname.

I don't know how he does it, or maybe this is just one of those things that make Sora Leonhart a treasured friend. It doesn't matter how low a person can feel, he'll make you laugh. He makes you feel like the world is a brighter, happier place than it really is. Or maybe that's just me that feels that way?

Either way, he made me smile for the first time that day. "I hate to break it to you, but it's easier without the "A"."

"And this is coming from someone who's name sounds like 'ruck sack' or-"

"'Rock ass', haha very funny, I get the joke." He snickered, which only made me smile even more.

We fell silent again, only this time it was more to calm down the approaching giggle fit rather than the gloomy stillness that was around before. Having the brunet around made the library seem a little less quiet than it was before. I guess I really like hanging around with him.

"Hey Roxas?" He began, his amusement from before leaving him a little calmer than when he arrived. "I wanted to tell you, when you're ready to talk about… about why you're afraid to talk… I'll be there to listen. You know that right?"

My heart sank at the memory of it all. I think I liked it better when we were laughing. "Yeah," I whispered, turning my eyes away from his gaze. "I know." And someday I'll tell you.

More silence passed.

"Hey, um…" His voice sounded small, almost shy and… embarrassed?

"Hmm?" I didn't look his way, a part of myself scolded me for avoiding his beautiful gaze but another part of me kept begging me to ignore it. His ocean blue eyes kept tugging at my insides, to reveal those dark secrets of mine, to get it all over with finally—but I fought with all my strength.

He never answered though. His silence was heavier than my own. It was unsettling, so I had to look his way, only… I wasn't expecting what happened.

The moment I turned to look at him, his hands—so heavenly warm and callous through days of playing in the Dueling club—cupped my cheeks and drew my face close to his own. Soft lips pressed against mine in a chaste, sweet kiss—a kiss that held all his suppressed emotions that threatened to spill out into the open.

"Roxas," he whispered against my mouth (my heart was racing so fast I couldn't breathe.) He pulled away, much to my chagrin, and slipped his arms around my neck, pulling our upper bodies close to each other in an embrace. "I hate seeing you like this." he mumbled against my neck and shoulder. "I want to get to know the real you, not the fake everyone sees."

I wrapped my arms around him, pulling him as close to me as possible because it didn't matter how hard I tried; I could never feel that he was close enough. I wanted to tell him, with every fiber of my being I wanted to tell him everything but… I couldn't.

I just-

"I heard what you said yesterday, about loving me forever if I wished for sea-salt ice cream." Damn it, he really did hear me. "I think... I would rather explore your body than eating sea-salt ice cream."

I think my heart just stopped.

-x-X-x-

I got lectured like no tomorrow after school that day. First it was from Naminé freaking on about how worried she had been and that I never answered any of her calls or texts. The second was Cloud, but he didn't use words on me. He resorted in arm locking my neck and making my head hurt to the point that I had a headache through the rest of dinner.

None of that mattered though because I was drowning in my daydreams.

I couldn't stop thinking about that kiss in the library or what Sora said about homecoming. Sora's lips were so soft, smooth, so delicious and sweet like candy. It made me want to taste more of it, of him in general—whoa. Wait, what?!

What the HELL am I thinking?!

Wasn't I just brooding about Larxene this morning?! And now I'm fantasizing about ravaging Sora's mouth and tantalizing that warm, soft tanned skin he hides underneath his uniform shirt?! Does that mean anything? Am I one track minded?

No. That just means... Sora took my mind off things.

Yeah...

I wonder what it would feel like caressing the sides of his lithe form while his fingers rummage through the blonde locks of my hair and-WOULD YOU STOP?! Idiot, idiot, idiot! This is not the time to be fantasizing about one of my best friends like that. I have to focus!

There are more important matters that I should be focusing on, like what am I going to do if Larxene finds out any more about my friends than she already knows? Or worse... what if he finds out?

I shuddered involuntarily, the scars on my upper back prickling annoyingly with pain. I dropped my pencil in defeat and leaned back against my chair, once more balancing it against its hind legs. Algebra homework on a Friday night-am I truly the only kid who actually does his homework before the weekend? I must be a nerd.

The sound of my bedroom door creaking open brought me back from my thoughts. Glancing at the doorway, I spotted Naminé quietly shutting the door and leaning her back against it with a very creepy, un-Naminé like grin on her face.

"Roxas, I heard you had a conversation with Sora today. Is that true?"

My face flushed hotly. (I'm already planning hotel reser-AUGH!)

She almost squealed delightfully, completely ignoring the fact that my inner pervert was already raging a war inside my body at the thought of Sora. "I knew it onii-chan! He really does like you more than a friend."

A second blush crept across my face. "Ye-yeah right Naminé. You've been reading too many yaoi mangas again."

"Your face is all red, onii-chan." She grinned deviously. "I think you already found out. Did something else happen between you two? Did he kiss you? Is that why you started rambling?"

"That's none of your business, imouto."

Bad move! She saw right through it in a flash. Naminé squealed excitedly, dashing across my room and throwing her arms around my neck in a hug.

"Oh onii-chan!" She cried, "I knew it! I just knew it! It's no wonder he kept asking me questions about you and why he was so determined to get you to join us in everything that we did. He was always so grumpy whenever you refused to say a word, but that's why he was so happy today because you actually held a conversation with him! And you two kissed! You like him too, don't you, onii-chan?" She said it all in one breath I was surprised to see that she was hardly breathless at all.

She pulled back from me, her face tinged in pink after the breathless rant, but she was still all smiles.

"You like him too, right?" She repeated her question again. "And don't think about lying to me onii-chan. There's no way you could have a conversation with Sora and not like him more than a friend. Cloud and I are your siblings and still you hardly say a word to us! He must be special."

I can't lie to my sister, not about this. "Yeah, he is special." I smiled, mostly at the memory of his lips pressing against mine...

_"I think... I would rather explore your body than eat sea-salt ice cream."_

And I called him innocent?

"I'm so happy for you, onii-chan." She told me, her milky white hand slipping into my own. "I hope tomorrow night when reimu is in the sky, all your wishes will be granted."

My fingers clutch gently onto her hand, feeling the warmth of my sister's love and joy—I smiled happily at her. "I hope yours are too Namy."

I paused for a second. I know I shouldn't ask, but curiosity's a bitch.

"What are you going to wish for?"

Her eyes glanced up toward the ceiling, mulling over the thought when her smile changed from sweet to sheepish, her cheeks tingeing pink once more. She said, "For Riku to be my boyfriend."

My stomach lurched dangerously at her words.

My sister really does hate me.

-x-X-x-

Somebody told me once that the first party of the school year was the first stepping stone to a dramatic high school life. I never really understood what they meant until the day the Halloween Party arrived. It was then I realized that this party would be where it all begins. No one's truly a high school student unless they've witnessed their first high school party.

Ladies and gentleman, this was my first high school party.

When Saturday finally did roll around the corner and after the whole shock with Naminé having a crush on my not so-much-so enemy, I was faced with another problem.

A Halloween party meant Halloween costumes. That's something I don't have.

Luckily, I wasn't the only one who realized this.

"Do we have to wear a costume?" Hayner complained for the fourth time in the last hour.

The whole gang, with the exception of Selphie, Tidus and Wakka, decided to hit the mall before the party tonight. The eight of us ended our costume search at a convenient store that sold a wide variety of costumes, props and a whole bunch of party supplies on a twenty-four hour basis. The store wasn't packed this time, mostly because it is Halloween and everyone's smart enough to have bought their costumes weeks before, so we had the store mostly to ourselves.

Olette, Kairi and Naminé were busy checking out the female section of the costumes while the rest of us lurked on the other side of the store with the male costumes. Riku and Sora lingered further and further away from Hayner, Pence and I—Sora being the most absorbed in finding a scary costume - that or he's trying to avoid me because of that whole kiss incident in the library - and Riku, having been smart and already bought his costume beforehand, just trailed after him. That bastard.

Hayner stood next to me, his arms crossed against his chest and his blonde head tilted slightly to stare at a certain weird costume in front of him. My own eyes skimmed up and down the rows of pictures of various costumes just like Pence. I think Hayner's the only one annoyed about having to buy something to wear for only one day. (I can't say I agree, this is kind of my first Halloween party with friends.)

"Well it is a Halloween party." Pence smiled, brown eyes spotting a particular costume near the ceiling. "I heard they won't let anyone in unless they're in costume."

"How do you know these things?" I asked him quietly (I'm afraid someone might hear me speak.)

Pence only shrugged, his expression growing more amused by Hayner's obvious shock. Yeah Hayner, I'm not a mute. "Most of my classes have a lot of girls who gossip. They like to share what they know."

"Is the whole school invited to this party?" I frowned, casting a quick glance around the store for any signs of sleek blonde hair or horribly bouncy bright-fucking-fuchsia. I see neither. The coast is clear.

"Just the third years and us lucky ones."

"I don't see the point in wearing a costume for a day." Hayner shook his head. "It's a waste of perfectly good munny."

Pence laughed, shifting his way around the two of us and continued his search for the perfect costume. I know he won't admit it, but Pence is almost as excited about this party as everyone else was. It wasn't just the party though; he was more ecstatic about the trick or treating we're going to do before hand. If Sora hadn't already expressed his excitement before we left for the mall then I'm pretty sure it'd be Pence bobbing up and down on the balls of his feet like a hyper active seven-year-old. If not him then me.

"If we didn't need to buy costumes, we could have bought a cooler filled with sea-salt ice cream." Hayner muttered, his frown setting firmly in place.

That sounds like a good idea actually…

I glanced around the columns of costumes again and spotted a guy wearing a green tunic, chain mail underneath, white tights and a funny looking pointy hat that drooped behind his head. He held a sword in one hand and a shield on the other. Behind him was a transparent picture of a triangle structure. I quirked an eyebrow.

"Hayner, this costume reminds me of you." I told him, pointing out the picture.

His brown eyes followed my finger and stared blankly at the picture for a moment, his whole face still locked tight into a displeased frown. Then suddenly, the blonde boy jerked forward, getting close enough to read the number written inside the picture and dashed off toward the counter.

Pence and I exchanged perplexed expressions before breaking into laughter and high-fived each other. That earned us a curious look from Sora. (I wonder if it bothers him to see me laughing without him?)

"Since Hayner already found himself a costume, how about you help me find one too? I can't seem to find anything I would like."

I skimmed the rows and columns again; eyeing anything that remotely reflected Pence in any way. I pointed out to a costume near the bottom row. From my angle, it was only a mixture of red and blue with a large faded mushroom in the background. It looked ridiculous in my opinion but the moment Pence found what I was pointing to his eyes lit up bright.

"I like it!" He smiled happily, crouching down closer to read the black print of numbers. "Thanks Roxas. You're really good at picking costumes for other people, you know that?"

I shrugged my shoulders and watched him write down the numbers on the back of his hand. He straightened his back, pocketing the washable marker back into his pocket and turned my way again.

"You know, you've been talking a lot lately. I think this is the first time I've heard you actually speak to me. It kind of makes me happy. It's like you're breaking out for your shell, it's nice." I gave Pence a feeble smile, mostly because what he said caught me off guard and I knew he was just trying to be nice but it was unsettling news. He patted me on the shoulder before walking off toward the counter to retrieve his new costume, leaving me alone to think.

I was hoping no one would notice. Even yesterday, when Naminé barged into my room, I don't think she even noticed that I upheld my end of the conversation.

Maybe it's the excitement of Halloween that I'm talking a lot more than I should... or maybe I'm growing too comfortable...

I pushed the unsettling thoughts aside, deciding that I would be a little more careful and continued the search for my own Halloween costume. None of the pictures I found were really my type. That is, until a certain black cloaked figure caught my attention. Posted right in front of me, as if the costume was the most obvious thing in the world, was a picture of a figure cloaked in a complete black cloak with his hood drawn up, hiding his identity in darkness and a zipper only zipped halfway.

I stared at the picture for a while, probably longer than I would have realized when Sora suddenly popped up beside me. He found my gaze glued to the costume and eyed it himself, tilting his head slightly from left to right until he finally frowned in disapproval.

"You're so gloomy Rox. You're supposed to wear a scary costume for Halloween, not something that looks like it belongs to a cult."

I rolled my eyes at the brunet, but smirked at the frown on his face. It doesn't matter what face he makes, it's like watching a puppy pout when he doesn't get a treat. The puppy might be a little unhappy now when all he was met was silence.

We stood side by side for a little while longer, me still looking at the cloaked figure and Sora staring around the rest of the pictures posted on the wall. The silence went on, forcing us to listen to the mutterings from Kairi and Naminé on the other side of the store and the snickering from Riku, who had joined Olette in the prop section of the store. It bothered him. A lot. It didn't take a genius to see it, even from the corner of my eyes, he started to fidget then he tugged at his spikes.

It looked like he was struggling to form words himself.

"I guess..." He hesitated, blue eyes bouncing from picture after picture until finally, he had enough and sighed. "Are you mad?"

(For?) ". . ."

"You are, aren't you?" He sighed again, looking more and more like a putdown puppy. "I'm sorry, okay? If you really hated the kiss that much then I'll just leave you alone."

He was about to leave when my lips moved on their own accord: "I didn't hate... it. I just don't... want to..." the words died in my throat as they should. Yet, I don't understand why Sora makes it so hard to keep quiet.

"Don't want to what?" He asked, still keeping his back turned to me.

I sighed, mentally giving up my restraint. Most promises are meant to be kept - I always keep my promises - but silentium isn't a promise I wanted to keep. So I didn't.

"I don't hate you, so don't whine."

Instantly, the brunet spun around with his infamous puppy dog pout still plastered on his face. "I wasn't whining! I was just-"

"Whining." I grinned, giving him a pat on the head. "What do you think of this?" I asked, pointing to picture of the black cloaked costume.

He huffed for a moment, blue eyes scanning over the picture again. "I don't like it. It makes me think of bad stuff." He replied crossing his arms in a way disgruntled child would do. "If you wear it, it'd make me think that you're a part of some weird organization or something. And stab people in the heart or something."

"You play too many video games Sor." I sighed, memorizing the number of the costume for later.

My sentence didn't reach him. He eyed the black cloak with mild disgust ghosting over his usually cheery face - no doubt he was thinking up of all the excuses to talk me into not buying the costume. Whatever he had against the cloak was apparently bad enough if he looked annoyed just by staring at it.

It made me wonder if Sora had a bad experience with black cloaked figures before.

The seconds turned to minutes and he was still glaring at the costume when I finally had enough and decided to end whatever internal conflict he was having with the costume. "What'd you get anyway?"

Instantly, his whole face lit up bright. He grabbed my hand and dragged me further down the aisle of costume displays until we reached the end of the wall. He pointed upward toward a picture and there, two rows below the ceiling was a particular weird costume I had never seen in my whole life.

It was a picture of a guy dressed in unusually black baggy pants with pointed black shoes, red spiral stockings and a weird black and white long sleeved shirt with removable small black wings on his back and large white gloves that oddly resembled claws more than anything else. And to top it all off, an orange mask in the shape of a pumpkin - winking - was placed right over one of his eyes. It was weird, unique and to top it all off - it reminded me too much of Sora.

"So whaddya think?"

I blinked. "Is it supposed to be a bat?"

"No, it's supposed to be a vampire!" He beamed excitedly. "Isn't it scary?"

"Scary? It looks kind of-" I stopped mid-sentence, something about what he said suddenly clicked in my head. "Wait a minute, let me get this straight." I frowned, turning my attention his way where he looked at me with probably the cutest curious expression ever. (Again, I'm reminded of the puppy.) "You - cute, sweet, innocent, puppy Sor-Sor-"

"Hey!" He huffed, his cheeks quickly turning a slight tinge of pink but I continued on.

"-get to be a blood sucking sex symbol, in some countries, and you won't let me wear a black cloak because it makes you think of the mafia? You get to be a sex symbol and I don't get to wear a cloak?"

"No," he rolled his eyes. (Puppy is upset.) "I said it reminded me of an organization and vampires are not sex symbols! Only fangirls with too much time on their hands think that. But if you think you can do better then fine. Pick out a scary costume for me and I'll pick one out for you."

It sounded kind of weird the way he said it. Kind of like how people practice speeches in front of their mirror before presenting them, that's kind of how it sounded to me. Maybe it had something to do with Riku, Naminé and Olette giving him the thumbs up from the counter, but maybe that's just me being paranoid. Either way, I took him up on his offer.

Taking his hand in my own (are his hands always so warm?) I led him toward the girl's side of the store. When coming here, the first thing I saw was a weird girl's costume that had the hair in the back of my neck standing on edge. If Sora wanted a scary costume that costume was the one. Unfortunately, Sora's warm hands distracted me. Primal instincts took control of my hand and pointed at a costume at random.

Only, I wish it was at random. Primal instincts are a bitch.

The moment his eyes caught sight of the picture I was pointing to, his face instantly grew three different shades of red. By then, I knew whatever I was pointing to wasn't something I wanted to be showing him. And I was right, the moment I got to see what the hell I was pointing to; my own face grew piping hot.

The picture was scary in its own way. The woman in the costume wore thigh length black fishnet stockings with a matching fishnet shirt draped just below her shoulders. She wore knee-length leather boots, black leather jeans too short to be comfortable and a simple leather tank-top high above her belly button. Hugging her hips, I realized, was a black strap thong and perched on top of her blonde head was a black cat band with a matching cat tail.

The two of us stared at the picture in embarrassment when Naminé and Riku suddenly joined behind us and stared at the costume.

"Wow onii-chan," Naminé muttered with mild awe. "I didn't know you were into kinky cosplay?"

"Th-tha-that's-" Don't stutter you idiot!

"You know what it's missing?" Riku grinned mischievously before he suddenly trailed off to a nearby aisle with more costume accessories. Seconds later, the second year returned carrying what looked like a red collar with a golden bell and a matching leash. "For the pet," he snapped the collar around Sora's neck before the brunet could realize and attached the leash onto the hook before he handed it to me with a smirk. "And for the master."

Before any of us could realize what the silveret was imply, he quickly patted the both of us on the head and said, "C'mon Naminé. I think this aisle is about to get rated NC-17."

"We'll be outside." Naminé winked and followed after the second year right out of the store, leaving the two of us flustered in embarrassment.

My eye suddenly twitched. "RIKU YOU BASTARD!"

I wanted to storm out there and give that idiot a piece of my mind when a bell suddenly jingled and something tugged me back. For a minute, I thought the leash caught onto a corner of one of the racks or that maybe Sora was trying to get the collar off but...

I was wrong.

I spun around, half expecting to see the brunet pouting or blushing or something but - no. I was right about one thing, he managed to get the collar off and he was grinning, deviously, like he was guilty of pulling a horrible prank on someone. And I was right. The red leash was wrapped around his own hand instead of mine. It led away from him, instead of me, and the moment I realized it was connected to me - to the collar around MY neck - I realized what he just said.

How he managed to do it without me noticing will probably haunt me for the rest of my life.

"It's too bad Christmas is two months away or this would have been a great present." He laughed.

-x-X-x-

We ended up keeping our originally picked costumes. He went as a bat, vampire thing. I went as a random cloaked nobody.

And I made sure the leash and collar stayed at the store.

We spent the last two hours trick or treating in the autumn cold. It wasn't too cold for any of us to wear a sweater, but it wasn't that comfortable either, especially when the wind started blowing. We dumped our sacks of candy in the Usual Spot before heading to the Old Mansion. After all the work we went through, no way in hell was anyone stealing our candy!

As we made our way on the path through the dark woods, I studied over everyone's costumes, since I hadn't gotten the chance to do so with all the trick or treating. Olette had decided to dress up as a princess with elf-like ears plastered over her own ears and a smooth shimmering pink and white dress that glittered whenever she walked. In a way, she kind of matched Hayner's costume. It made me wonder whether or not she picked it knowing that. Naminé decided to go old school and dressed up as the standard black witch complete with pointy hat and wooden broom.

Riku stood ahead of us, leading us through the woods like a leader he pretended to be. His costume still makes me laugh the more of think of it, only because I never thought he'd dress up as one. Riku was dressed up as a pirate, a very authentic looking pirate. Weird? Strange? Peculiar? Yep. Scary beyond all belief? For pretty boy Riku? Hell yes. The eye patch, the braids and beads, the bandana, captain's hat and his shirt unbutton to reveal his chest - he wore it all. Leave it to the bishounen to take something disgusting and make it into the next sex symbol. Damn bastard.

Trailing not too far behind him was Kairi, dressed in a simple patched up dress with black marker stitching drawn on top of her skin. She was a rag doll. She was also directing her complete focus on Sora as he recounted stories of Halloween's past—just more memories that I had no recollection of. She'd laugh whenever he'd say something funny and her face would literally light up the darkness whenever he started laughing. It didn't take a genius to know why Kairi was so adamant in focusing all her attention on him.

She liked him. She liked him a lot.

It took me a while to see it, but it wasn't hard to miss. She was always with him (when he wasn't looking for me), every day in homeroom she would always stare at him, talk to him, pass him notes in art class.

And whenever he wasn't with her or he looked away, she would play with the heart-key around her neck. Before I used to always watch her play with it, never knowing what it was until the day I finally summed up enough courage to ask her. Actually, it was more like she accidentally let it slip when she was gossiping with Naminé.

The necklace was a gift Sora gave her as a graduation present from Junior High. She told my twin that it was a symbolic reminder of their promise—a promise that they'd always be together.

Their definition of "together" is what I want to know.

I heard the sound of his melodious laughter ring into my ears. He was laughing at another joke again and there she was, laughing along right with him like the best friends that they were. It's then that I realized something I should have seen before - they make a good couple.

The ugly imp of jealousy decided to pick that moment to stab it's sharp claws straight into my heart.

I tore my eyes away quickly and found my sister Naminé gazing intently at Riku's back. She kept a small smile curving her lips but nothing else reflected back in those cerulean orbs of hers. Naminé was the master of disguises just like I was. She could mask her true emotions so easily that no one could truly feel how she was feeling.

No one except for me because we were twins and twins like us just naturally understood the other.

And beneath all that bubbling excitement, I saw the pain she held, the pain of being completely ignored by the one person she wanted to be noticed by.

Unrequited love is a bitch.

"We're here," Riku announced, leading us out of the woods.

We stopped and stared. Looming in front of us stood black iron gates with two third years dressed as guards standing on the other side, their sharp eyes glaring directly at Riku. He stood forward, introduced himself and was granted access into the party.

We all slipped into the lawn in silent anticipation.

-x-X-x-

I hate parties.

No—correction-I hate wild high school parties. The music's too loud; half the party guests are completely wasted or high out of their damn minds and the other half are so obnoxiously uptight about underclassman that they've done just about everything to get rid of us. Only to epically, miserably and horribly FAIL.

They did manage to ruin my day by dumping a massive load of beer right on top of my damn head. Oh yeah, FUN.

The moment we managed to slip into the mansion, our group completely separated. Riku was the first to vanish, having gone off to the kitchen probably get some beer himself. Hayner was immediately dragged off by Tidus and vanished in the crowd of third years. Sora was pulled away by a group of third year girls who recognized him as Leon's baby brother while Naminé and Pence vanished long before I got the chance to wrap my head around what the hell was going on. Kairi was gone the moment Sora left.

So here I am, sitting at the foot of the stairs smelling like booze thanks to those damn third year jocks. I'm pissed, I have a headache, I have a massive sweet tooth for Halloween candy and I want out! We've been at the party for about two hours, reimu's return was only ten minutes away and I had no time to look for Naminé or anyone else. At this point in time, I could care less about watching that damn comet, but I couldn't go home without at least getting to see it. Who knows when I would get another chance? Besides, waiting for the comet would get me out of this uncomfortably crowded dump.

I slipped into the hazardous packed crowd, pushing and dunking into every opening I got before I finally reached the open front door. The "security guards" from earlier before had already left their posts for the night leaving the black iron gates completely vulnerable to any unwanted guests. (Didn't matter anyway, majority of the school was in the Mansion.)

When I stepped out into the front completely, I realized that I was the only conscious body. Scattered across the lawn, whether they were sprawled humorously on the grass or slumped uncomfortably in the bushes, students who had too much to drink were all over the front of the house. It was funny watching them drool and snore like a bunch of idiots that they were, but at the same time I couldn't help frowning in abhorrence.

They had no shame what so ever.

I stopped close to the iron gates, my eyes instantly shooting upward.

There was one thing I kind of hated about living in Twilight Town, there's no such thing as night fall. Everyone else are already used to it but it's still weird, never having a chance to see the stars, always waking up in the morning to find the warm hues of red, yellow and orange permanently in the sky. It's kind of sad. I just hope I can still catch sight of reimu.

I stole a glance at my watch; five more minutes left to go.

"Kai, why did you want to meet me here?"

My blood suddenly froze; I knew that voice. They sounded close.

"Shh! Not so loud, someone might hear you."

I glanced behind me half expecting to see Sora and Kairi. To my surprise, they weren't there. I looked to the right. Nothing. Then the left, nothing but the tall bushes.

I shouldn't be here if they're planning on talking in private but they hadn't spotted me or noticed my presence. Hell, I don't even think they could see me from where ever they were hiding. I decided to leave any way and find a spot to watch reimu when a flash of twinkling light caught my attention.

My eyes instantly shot up toward the sky, neck craning back and eyes already widening in awe.

There, burning so brightly with an icy blue tail was the frozen rock that supposedly granted people's dreams. I didn't notice that Selphie, Olette, Pence and Riku had managed to slip out of the party in time to catch the comet streak across the red-orange canvas above us.

I hope Naminé is looking too.

My eyes slowly fluttered shut, the world around me falling to silence as I wracked through my brain for a wish. The first thing that came to mind was Sora, but I forced that annoying thought into the dark depths of my mind. I would deal with that later, no sense in wasting a perfectly good wish on him.

I thought of my family, picturing mom busy at work, Cloud standing at the hill top of sunset terrace with his own friends and Naminé, still silently hoping that she was seeing what I was seeing. I could wish for their well-being, to have health for many more years to come but something else slipped into my mind.

A flash of green, the scent of flowers, a sadistic giggle and pain—so much pain—swirled into my head like a whirlpool. My heart began to race and my hands clenched tightly into fists, I knew what I was going to wish for.

_I wish my friends and family were always protected from harm, whether it's at my expense or not._

I stood that way for a while, head down, eyes closed, fists clenched tight—until the cool autumn wind blew through my costume and snapped me out of my thoughts. Reimu had vanished from the skies, but the murmuring of wishes, prayers and silent conversations continued behind me.

"So," I heard Sora's voice began. This time, it sounded like it was coming from the bushes beside me. "What did you want to talk about Kairi?" I should have left when I had the chance.

"Sora, I, um," she sighed heavily. "There's something I want to...show you."

"What is—" He was caught off.

I looked around my surroundings a second time, still only seeing the unconscious party goers scattered across the grass and the retreating back of some of my friends as they returned to the party. I still couldn't find where Sora and Kairi were hiding, but I didn't need to wait long.

They fell out from their hiding spot behind the bushes, their mouths still connected and Kairi's arms wrapped around Sora's neck. I backed away involuntarily to the gates, a part of me hoping that he'd see me and another praying that he wouldn't. The latter part wins, because even though his eyes were wide open with shock and disbelief, Sora couldn't see anything except for the red head in front of him.

The imp of jealousy returned for vengeance, sinking his sharp claws deep into the core of my heart and slashing it out of existence.

To make matters worse, it felt like that kiss went on forever when in reality, it couldn't have been longer than a few seconds.

Kairi finally ripped herself away from the brunet, her face an astonishing bright red and her eyes sparkling like glass. She held her hand pressed against her lips, muttering something along the lines of "I'll see you later," then dashed back into the Old Mansion, vanishing in the massive crowd of drunken idiots.

She left him alone with me.

He wanted to run after her, I could tell by the troubled look on his face, but all that vanished the moment his eyes caught my own. Now he looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

He managed to climb to his feet, his embarrassment quickly turning into silent apology the moment he faced me at full height. He tugged at one of his spikes anxiously, those ocean blue orbs of his looking every way except at me.

He stammered, "D-did you, um… did you… see anything?"

I could lie.

I could say that the only thing I saw was the comet. I could tell him I heard nothing either, that I didn't see them fall out of the bushes with their mouths glued together. I could tell him I didn't see Kairi, blushing and on the verge to tears, escape back into the comfort of the crowded Mansion. I could come up with so many excuses to his question and he'd believe every single damn lie that came out of my mouth.

But I don't lie. I don't tell him anything.

My voice dies in my throat, mouth dry, lips sealed, the silence is my answer. Just like it used to be, just like it should still be, but Sora hates it and I hate it. He hates the silence, he hates this part of who I am—which he claims isn't me. And I hate the fact that I agree.

He frowns—not a pout—a full-blown frown on that cherubic little face of his. It doesn't remind me of a puppy anymore; it's only a frown on this kid's face. I know he's being serious.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" His voice was unusually quiet for himself.

My silence must be getting to him.

This time he doesn't wait for a reply: "Roxas, I—"

But the part of me that hates silentium doesn't want to stay quiet anymore: "Shut up and come here!" I snapped, grabbing a hold of his wrist.

I spun him around, slamming his back roughly against the wall beside the gates and took that moment to gaze into his eyes. He was frightened first for having me pull him so impulsively the way I did yet confusion and curiosity overruled his fear.

I had no idea what I was doing. Jealously had already consumed the whole of my heart and clouded my judgment - jealousy was in control. Automatically, with his arms pinned to the wall, I leaned in and pressed my lips against his.

First it was chaste, just a simple innocent peck between lips - until the memory of Kairi flashed in my head. Thoroughly burning with anger, I kissed him again, this time rougher than the first and less innocent intensions. He kissed back with the same burning that was eating me alive inside. Before any of us knew it, our kissing turned passionate, our mouths linking in an endless rhythm and our tongues forming a sort of dance among themselves.

The air around us grew hot with our breathless pants and heavy with unspoken need for the other. He wrapped his arms around my neck, drawing my body closer to his so that our racing hearts thumped against the other's chest as proof that our feelings were one in the same.

I wanted to make sure that Kairi's kiss was the farthest thing from his mind.

We finally broke away from our kissing; our breaths labored heavily in pants and our cheeks in a matching shade of red.

"So... does this mean," he panted, "that my wish might get granted?"

I sighed heavily, nuzzling my nose against the crook of his neck while his arms grew tight around me. "Yeah, I guess it does." I smiled, soaking up this moment for memory sakes.

This would have been the greatest Halloween of my life if it weren't for one minor detail.

"Well isn't this romantic? Confessing our love underneath the remnants of a comet are we? How terribly cliché."

My heart stopped dead. I knew that voice…

**…So hot…**

**…So sweaty…**

**…Not pleasure, not pleasure…**

**…All pain, all pain…**

_"Let me hear that pretty voice of yours scream my name…"_

I jerked myself away from Sora's grip faster than any normal person would and spun around in time to see the offender watching us. Instantly I knew, with every burning fiber of my being, that he had seen us together. My stomach sank dangerously, leaving me feeling sick to the very core of my body.

Sora eyed the interloper with a venomous look I never thought was possible on him and only one word—a name—escaped those dangerously soft lips: "Marluxia."

He approached us—slow and casual—revealing that twisted pleasurable smirk of his and those god-awful ice blue eyes, so dangerous… and hypnotic. Vibrant pink hair framed around his devilishly handsome face, resting softly, temptingly on his broad shoulders. He wasn't wearing a costume like the rest of us were, he was dressed in the schools uniform—a sickening reminder that he was always there, always watching…

Fire, fire… my scars were on fire.

I let out a soft whimper of pain. It went unnoticed by Sora but Marluxia kept that horrible smirk on his face the whole time, his sapphire eyes boring down to my own. (He knows! He knows!)

"What are you doing here?" Sora inquired in an unusually vehement tone.

"Now, now, shouldn't I be asking you that? After all, this is a third year party and if I can recall, you are only a first year."

"We were invited!" The brunet huffed. Marluxia ignored him; his gaze still fixated on me.

"What are you doing out here Sora? Don't you know that mutes don't talk?"

"For your information I do know mutes don't talk!" He crossed his arms against his chest to further his point. "But Roxas isn't a mute! He only talks to me and my friends."

Can he be anymore clueless?!

Marluxia's eyes flashed dangerously, sending an icy chill down my spine. He wasn't happy with what he was hearing and I wasn't happy hearing it either!

"Oh?" His tone masked what he was truly feeling; only those cruel sapphire eyes of his reflected the inner disappointment and sadistic delight he felt.

This was my cue to run.

And on that Halloween night, I realized exactly just how much God truly hates me.

The front doors of the mansion flew open; revealing a tall, lean third year with spiky hair a deep shade of crimson and wearing a costume that would have made anyone break into hysterical laughter. I would have laughed if my nemesis wasn't so close by.

"Sora!" the third year yelled, frantically dashing toward us and grabbing said brunet by the arm. "We need your help! One of your friends locked herself in the bathroom and won't come out unless your there!"

"Wah-why don't you get Riku to do it, Axel?!" Sora cried, his body jerking forward as the red head continued to run back toward the mansion.

"She only wants you man!" I watched them go as if everything was in slow motion because I knew, the moment Sora vanished into the crowd, I was in trouble.

He didn't hesitate to remind me either.

In a matter of seconds, he pushed my back against the wall just as I had done to Sora only seconds before. He pinned both my arms above my head with one hand and loomed over my body like a hunter about to eat his prey. Icy blue eyes bore down to my face, no doubt relishing the look of fear that managed to permanently plaster itself on my sickening pale face every time he came anywhere near me.

That or he knew that I learned, fighting back against him would only excite him and make matters worse for me. So I never did fight, I stayed defenseless like a weakling he always believed that I was.

"I'm appalled Roxas. Didn't we teach you better than this?" His free hand touched the side of my head lightly, trailing its way downward in a soft caress past my jaw, down my collar bone and toward the first zipper of my costume.

Instantly my frozen heart lurched to life, beating almost painfully in my chest. I struggled feebly against his grasp, but it was useless - just like I thought.

"S-stop..."

He smirked delightfully. "You brought this upon yourself. How would you feel if your little toy found someone else to play with, hm?" He suddenly laughed, his free hand unzipping my costume partially so that my collar bone was exposed to the cold autumn air.

"I find it appropriate how your little fuck toy is dressed as a vampire. I had no idea you were into such cosplay." He leaned closer, his free hand pulling down my costume to further expose my neck. "If you wanted to play the victim so badly, you should have come to me."

Before I had the chance to realize what was going to happen, Marluxia suddenly bit down against my skin. The sudden shock of it all forced a scream from my throat; the pain he inflicted was magnified worse in my head. Because this was him, the man of my nightmares, the man who ruined my life in more ways than one. He bit me hard enough to bruise, to bleed - to remind me exactly who was in the shadows of darkness.

Not even a minute more, he ripped himself away from me and backhanded me so hard, he sent me stumbling to the ground.

"You taste like alcohol," he snapped, wiping the corner of his mouth with distaste. "I was generous with you Roxas because you were my favorite student. I'll let you off with a warning this time, but the next time you disobey me again, I'll make sure to give Larxene permission to have her way with you until you're begging for my forgiveness." He spat venomously, then spun on his heel and returned to the mansion like nothing ever happened.

_I wish I didn't break my promise. . ._

-x-X-x-

_"I was generous with you Roxas because you were my favorite student. I'll let you off with a warning this time, but the next time you disobey me again, I'll make sure to give Larxene permission to have her way with you until you're begging for my forgiveness."_

It won't stop running through my head.

These memories… over and over, flashing in broken clips or running in full-blown memory.

It won't stop, I can't make it stop. Every time I close my eyes, every time I blinked, every time I thought…

Over and over and over and over

Somebody make it fucking STOP!

It's driving me insane . . .

I could still feel it, him and her-them together. His body pressing up against my own, blinded from my eyes, and hers in front, in all her porcelain beauty. So many hands caressing, touching, feeling...

So many mouths against my skin, licking me, sucking me, biting me . . .

Why did they take so much precaution only to break me, pain me, make me scream until my voice grows hoarse and dies in my throat?

I could still feel her lips against my own, her mouth devouring me, tongue tasting me—I hate it. I hate everything about it. I hate the way she tastes and the way he tastes. I hate the way she moved her tongue about my own. I hate the way his tongue ravaged my neck, licking in circles, nipping my skin.

I hate the way they switched and alternated, from kisses to bites to licks to touch. I hate the way his mouth suffocates my breathing, stops my screaming. I hate the way her nails-her claws-her deep crimson sharp as blades nails break into my skin and tears it away like paper, making me bleed, shooting pain-I hate it! I hate it! I hate it! But I can't stop it.

I can't fight back. I can't call for help. I'm helpless, weak, can't—I can't do anything... I can't even cry.

I relive it, every day, every night. In every silence, in every crowd, in the darkest reaches of my mind—I relive it over and over and over and over…

I don't want to feel this way anymore . . .

"Roxas?" Thump. Thump. Thump. Someone's at the door.

It's been two weeks already. I was away from school for three days—I played it off by being sick—but my excuse couldn't last for long, so I went only to skip in most of my classes. I ran, hid, broke at least a dozen school rules all in hopes to avoid my teachers and my friends.

It worked for a while until Naminé and Cloud started to get actively involved. Now someone's at my door.

"I know you're in there Rox. Please open the door." The doorknob jiggles for a moment then stops completely and nothing else is said behind the door.

For a moment I could hear footsteps retreating from my room then stomp down the stairs. If I didn't know him any better, I would have thought that he left, but its Sora and I know he'd do anything to get me to open the door. He's still out there waiting and he won't leave until he gets what he wants. I wouldn't have cared normally but these memories, these stupid thoughts—I don't want to be alone.

So I scooted off my bed and unlocked the door.

I sat back on my bed, drawing my knees to my chest; my arms wrapping around my legs and burying my face from view the moment the door creaked open. I heard his footsteps stepping into the room, closer and closer toward me until a heavy weight sat beside me on the bed.

He sat beside me in silence, my face hidden, his eyes on me. I don't know if he was looking at me or not, but the hairs in the back of my neck erected like they would when people feel that someone is watching them. I couldn't find the strength to raise my own head and stare back into his intense eyes, and maybe he sensed that too, because suddenly, he rested a gentle hand on top my shoulder in silent beckoning.

My inner self cringed under his touch, begging him to leave me alone and go away but, surprisingly, I leaned into his touch. I slipped into his open arms, burying my face between the crook of his neck and shut my eyes tight—all in the while chanting for the memories to stop. His arms snaked around me, holding me close in a warming embrace.

The inner me hates this, constantly reminding me that he shouldn't be here. He shouldn't get involved. He needs to be with someone else—Kairi—someone; he shouldn't be here with me. Yet he's holding me so tightly.

"Tell me what's wrong Roxas," He murmured quietly, his hand soothing my back in a hypnotic rhythm. "Please… I'm here for you… I'll always be here for you."

They were only words, such simple little words that carried so much meaning to them that my barrier was finally broken. I broke down in his arms, sobbing my eyes out and gripping tight to his body. He was so warm in my clutches, the faint yet distinct smell of vanilla wafting beneath my nose. His scent was so enticing, so soothing and warm; I felt I could tell him anything he wanted to hear. Anything…

But Marluxia's warning rang through my head, silencing my voice, my words, my everything. I don't think I could have told him even if I tried. So I did the only thing I could do, I cried in his arms and prayed that the nightmare would end. Even if it wouldn't and the memories would return over and over, at least he never let go.

"Roxas please tell me. You've been acting so weird since Halloween... It's like you've closed your heart from everyone around you and your pushing them away..." muttered the shuttering voice that sounded almost as frail and weak as I felt. It pained me hearing him sound this way. "If it's... about that kiss..." (Great. He just had to remind me.) "...I-I'm sorry if I hurt you... I didn't... It wasn't..." he sighed, his arms suddenly growing tighter around me. "Whatever it is, whatever you're feeling... you can tell me. Please."

_I can't... I can't..._

I don't think I hated silentium more than I did at this moment.


	3. Chapter 3

Sora didn't let me off the hook after that. Maybe it was to make up for all the time we've missed or maybe he was worried that I would do something drastic (I don't blame him, I'd be worried too) but the next day when school started again, he followed me around and made sure I attended most of my classes. (Guess Naminé and Cloud figured out about my ditching scheme.) but I didn't mind... or care...

I felt like a zombie walking along in a mass crowd of happy faces and ignorant minds. I don't know how many times I wished to be just like everybody else... But I shouldn't think this way...

The ongoing battle of memories went on in my mind, even if no one could see, even if no one cared-it never stopped its endless repeat. I needed a distraction, something funny! Something interesting, weird, crazy-I don't know-anything to keep my sanity at bay!

And as if on cue, something interesting, weird and crazy happened that kept myself preoccupied.

It all happened during homeroom one day when Mrs. Novack had finished attendance and allowed the rest of the class as a free period. The rest of the class broke off into groups with their friends; words of gossip, advice, secrets all flowed through the air like usual. I slouched uncomfortably across my desk, my arms hanging off the corners of my desk and my chin pressing against the cool top. My eyes stole a glance in Sora's direction, spotting him pull out his vibrating cell phone in order to reply to a text. (No doubt from Riku.)

That's when something else caught my attention. Something bright red, short and girly. My eyes instantly flew toward a corner of the room where I saw Kairi strut her way—mini skirt flicking dangerously around her thighs—and stopped right in front of Hayner, Tidus, Wakka and Pence. The noise level in the class chose that moment to rise, drowning out all possibilities of their conversation but what I saw shocked me in awe-and wiped my frantic mind completely.

It was so damn simple too. In a few steps, she approaches, strutting her hips and flashing as much thigh as possible without seeming too whorish. Next, she bends a little, cupping her hands against her legs and squeezing her chest for a possible cleavage shot. Then she says something, they laugh, she laughs, she flicks back a few strands of ruby hair and casually does the same thing to Hayner. This is where it gets shocking, upon contact, she makes another comment, this time running her hands through his golden locks then down the side of his right cheek, to his jaw line, then his chin. At this point, the guys are shocked silent, all of them—except for Pence—practically leaning in closer for a better view, their eyes bulging wide with anticipation. And out of nowhere, Kairi plants a soft, chaste kiss on Hayner's lips. It's only five seconds long. She pulls away, smiles sweetly and walks away—leaving four incredibly shocked boys behind.

My jaw practically hit the desk.

"You know if you leave it open like that, you're gonna catch flies." Sora commented with a quick laugh, but I don't reply. As much as he hates it, he knows I won't. And even if I could, I'm too shocked to reply. No, scratch that, I'm freaking HORRIFIED.

My eyes continued to follow Kairi, only growing even wider when a distraught Olette confronts her. The look on her face is enough to break anyone's heart: her eyes are wide, glassy, her fists clenched tight and if I'm not mistaken—she's shaking.

I can't help watching, I always thought Kairi had a crush on Sora and I know I'm not wrong. Kairi does have a crush on Sora. I have no doubt that this is all a trick to make him jealous, but it's wrong—what Kairi is doing is wrong!

I could still hear Sora in the background trying to catch my attention, even going so far to wave a hand in front of my eyes, but I'm out of it - I'm eating this up in a desperate attempt of avoiding the horrid memories gnawing in the back of my mind. I'm not the only one who saw either, Naminé and Selphie are right by Olette's side—their arms crossed, frowns formed, eyes glaring—they look like two cats ready to unleash bitch fury in thirty seconds if Kairi didn't come up with an explanation. Kairi's the only one who doesn't look ashamed for what she's done.

Olette's mouth started moving. Again I can't hear what they're saying (That's starting to piss me off.) but whatever it is, it doesn't bode well because the next thing I know, Kairi snaps back, fingers pointed, lips moving in rapid rant and Olette looks more and more heart broken by the second.

In a matter of seconds, it's over. Olette dashes out of the room just as the bell rang. And I'm left hearing Marluxia's warning ringing in the back of my mind.

-x-X-x-

In history, I'm too jittery for my own good and Mr. Thatch's lecture about some war nobody really cares about wasn't making me feel any better, so I whipped out my cell phone the moment it was safe to and sent a text Hayner's way.

_Wth! I thought u liked Olette?!_

My text startled him—literally making him jump two inches off his chair—before he whipped out his phone and shot me a nasty glare. I smiled apologetically.

He sighed, letting his thumb fly around the number pad faster than mine usually does and snapped his phone shut quietly the moment his message was sent.

Seconds later, my phone vibrated: _Rly? U ignore the rest of us 4 2 wks and the only thing u say 2 me is if i like olette? wth?! Not cool. & 2 answer ur question, yea i do._

I figured they'd be mad, but they would be disgusted if they ever knew the reason.

_Then why did u let Kairi kiss u?!_

Again, my text message startled him, only this time he didn't jump as much as he did the first time. One look at the message and his whole expression changed from shock to embarrassment and then to shame. He didn't waste time to reply.

_who wouldn't want 2 kiss kairi? she's hot._

It was a lame ass reply and I knew right then that Hayner wasn't happy about Kairi's kiss either.

_Kairi's not hot._

"You're only saying that because you're gay." He muttered, a smirk quickly overshadowing his shame.

I shot him a disapproving frown and texted again: _I'm not gay._

"Fine. Bi."

_Not bi either!_

At this, he rolled his eyes but the amusement was still there. "Fine, you're gay for Sora."

"I'm not gay!" I snapped loudly, surprising Hayner and everyone else in the damn classroom to silence.

My hands automatically clamped against my mouth, my eyes shooting a nasty glare at the snickering blonde beside me. Mr. Thatch stared at me; eyebrows arched in curiosity, chalk still raised to the board.

"Thank you for re-establishing your sexuality, Mr. Uchiyama, but if you don't mind, we're discussing history not the classifications of human orientation."

Mr. Thatch isn't normally a strict teacher, actually he's a pushover, but the moment someone offends what he loves the most, he's on the defense and this was one of those moments. I shrank in my chair, bowing my head in shame as he turned his attention back to the blackboard. The moment I knew he wasn't looking at me, I shot Hayner my most threatening glare possible.

He only laughed.

-x-x-x-

Biology was the same.

Olette had been absent from class, which is shocking since she's never been a day absent in her life—even Pence hadn't shown up to class either!

Now things were starting to get serious. I had no doubts that Pence was probably looking for Olette but for her and him to be cutting one class meant serious business. And endless distractions for me.

The moment we gathered in partners for lab, I whipped out my cell phone when opportunity arrived and started another voiceless conversation.

_I know what you're trying to do and it's not gonna work_

Kairi sat next to me; cerulean eyes focused intently on the lab practice in front of us, hands tipping the odorless, colorless liquid gently into the vial of green liquid when the familiar vibrate sounded from her pocket. She set down the test tube and slipped her hand inside, pulling out the ruby red cell phone and read. When she finished, she glanced my way-I was already glaring by then-and snapped her phone shut before she returned to the lab.

I was already making way for my cell phone for another text message interrogation when Kairi slipped another test tube into the rack and sighed.

"Did he see it?" She asked almost as quietly as a mouse.

I shook my head in reply.

She winced at the gesture until another heavy sigh escaped her lips. "I wished on that comet, Roxas. I wished that Sora could return my feelings and love me the same way I love him, but it's been two weeks since then." She bit her bottom lip in consternation, her glassy blue eyes finding their way back to my own. "So far nothing's changed since I kissed him."

I want to tell her that reimu is just a comet, a stupid piece of frozen rock that's floated through space for years. It doesn't grant wishes; that's only a family superstition. Yet that's not what comes flying out of my mouth: "That's a selfish wish Kairi."

I slapped myself mentally—that's the second time in a day! What the hell is wrong with me?!

Her face contorted in anger, her eyes turning to ice. "I know it is," she all but hisses like a venomous snake. "I hate myself for wishing like that but what can I do Roxas? Wouldn't you do the same if you've loved someone almost all your life?"

I bit down on my lip to prevent myself from speaking again. I can't take any chances anymore. I've been too careless.

I whipped out my cell again and texted as fast as I possibly could and pushed the phone into her face: _If I loved someone I couldn't be with I'd wish for them to happy! with or without me!_

Kairi's eyebrows furrowed, not in anger, but in confusion. I had no doubt that she was wondering why I was wasting my time texting when it was easier to just say it out loud, yet her anger overshadowed her puzzlement and she huffed.

"So if Sora told you he was in love with Riku, you'd let him go?"

tck, tck, tck, tck!

_Like that would ever happen!_

She scoffed, violet-blue eyes rolling in disbelief as her anger quickly transformed into suspicion, a slender eyebrow arching upward on her forehead. "And why wouldn't it? How do you know he's not already in love with Riku?"

Damn it she has a good point. How don't I know that? Again, I bit my lip.

_Riku isn't gay!_

The red head snorted loudly, her eyes already rolling for a second time. "Neither is Sora, but that doesn't stop two people from loving each other." She shook her head in disbelief, making me feel like I just missed out on an important fact of life, but the very thought of Sora and Riku being together left my stomach squirming.

Even my mind started retreating into the dark grasps of hopelessness and fear.

I couldn't let that happen.

"I - I challenge you, Kairi Uchida!" What the hell am I thinking?! "I'll prove to you that Sora is not in love with Riku!" Inside I'm panicking. Panicking because for the third time in a day, I've broken silentium within only two classes. I've become too comfortable, this has to stop!

Confusion flashes on Kairi's face briefly but soon, her eyes are burning passionately with determination and an expression washes of her face that tells me she's going to get serious.

"Roxas Uchiyama," She announced suddenly, "As a firm believer in true love, I accept your challenge and will prove to you that the only person Sora will ever love is me! This isn't over, Roxy." she accentuated my nickname teasingly just as the bell rang, signaling the end of Biology.

We glared at each other—more like she glared—before cleaning up the neglected lab equipment.

I have no idea what I'm thinking anymore.

Transition time after Biology was considerably longer than the first two classes of the day because that was when Lunch A began (the school is crowded enough to have three different lunch periods.) So as usual, I made my way to the Algebra classroom—the designated meeting spot Riku had chosen for us—until I spotted a certain determined red head eyeing me from down the hall.

I cocked an eyebrow, curious and—to be honest—a little amused at what she was about to do. The moment our eyes locked, she gave me a quick grin before trotting over to speak with Riku and Sora, the duo hanging out in front of the classroom like always. I stopped only a few feet away; I just had to watch this.

The moment Kairi got close enough, Riku gave the girl a dashing lady-killer smile—the one that works on everyone else but the girls in our group—but Kairi doesn't notice. Instead she tapped Sora on the shoulder, causing him to spin around curiously—only to smile when he realizes its Kairi—and just before he opens his mouth to greet her, she grabbed a hold of his face and reeled him in for a kiss.

Something stirs inside me, the same sickening queasy feeling I felt back in the Biology room settles in the pit of my stomach. It's uncomfortable and adds more to the troubling thoughts that have been dying to run ram pet in my head since Halloween, but I refuse to let it. I refuse to let my guard down for anything, especially something like this.

Something else sparks to life inside me, burning deeply in the beating organ that is my heart. It isn't uncomfortable this time, quite the opposite, but it's giving me an urge to do something I wouldn't do normally... It would be too risky otherwise, but the fire makes it feel okay. My body's just begging to show Kairi Uchida once and for all that Sora Leonhart was not in love with Riku Morikawa!

Just my luck, she pulled away.

And I sealed the distance between us.

"Kairi what are you—"

She cut him off, her eyes glancing over to mine with a small smirk on her kiss-swollen lips. "Roxas." She greeted me.

I returned the gesture with a quick nod, my lips mimicking her snide smirk.

Sora's eyes widened in horror the moment he realized I was there. They widened as big as saucers once he realized that I had also seen them kiss—again. Panic flashed across his face.

"Roxas I—"

Without a word, I grabbed his shoulders, pushed him forcefully against the wall and pressed my lips against his.

I didn't miss the look of repulsion etching into Kairi's face or the sudden quirked eyebrow of the silver haired second year beside us. Inwardly, I grinned at my triumph, and focused the remainder of my thoughts on giving Sora the best damn kiss in his life.

My tongue slipped across his lower lip, silently, yet eagerly begging permission for sweet entrance into his mouth. He complied hurriedly, lips departing enough so my tongue slipped inside. I gave him my all, summing up all the passion I could muster and directed it into our kiss, tongues clashing for dominance, tasting the sweetness of each other, soft lips pressed against soft—everything that Kairi's little kiss lacked, I gave. So much so that by the time I finally departed, Sora lost his balance and slipped to the floor with his face burning red and his eyes in a daze, a goofy grin spreading across his face.

Riku looked amused and confused, but Kairi looked far from it. She was pissed, furious, outrage, anything—she was on fire.

I couldn't help but flash her a grin.

I laughed, waved them goodbye then disappeared inside the classroom. It was the best distraction I could ever come up with.

-x-X-x-

But it was too short for my liking. The memories were creeping again, flashes of flesh, pinches of pain, distant panting, gasping, breathing, screaming - "ROXAS!"

I jolted in my seat, startled eyes gazing around until they fell on ocean blue in front of me. Sora stared back at me worriedly, those dangerously soft lips of his forming into a slight pout. To think just a few minutes ago his lips were all mine.

"Did you hear me? What was that kiss about? First Kairi kisses me out of the blue and then you! Is there some sort of 'kiss Sora day' I'm not aware of?"

I rolled my eyes at his confused, frantic ranting but kept my mouth shut. Even if I was willing to talk, there was no way I was going to tell him about the challenge. I don't think he'd take the whole idea of winning his love through a game too kindly.

One of his sighs brought me back to reality. He stared at me, those deep blue eyes of his peering intently into my own, as if he were trying to figure me out in very much the same way he did back in September when we first met.

"You know," He began after a few seconds of silence, "I kind of wish there was a 'kiss Sora day'." - What? - "Then maybe it wouldn't bother me so much." He sighed, his eyes quickly glancing toward the door for any sign of our teacher. "It doesn't make any sense to me. You spent two weeks avoiding everyone and the last few days acting like a… like a zombie and now suddenly you do something like this?" He paused, his attention turning back to me with a new level of seriousness in his eyes. "Whatever is going on, I plan on finding out. Whether you want me to or not."

He spun back around in his chair, avoiding my attention throughout the rest of the class period. In all the while, I could only wish him all the luck in the world.

-x-X-x-

When the bell for lunch finally rang, the game of distraction - the game of proving to Kairi that Sora was not in love with Riku began again the moment we stepped into the half empty cafeteria.

Sora took off for the lunch line, leaving me alone to sit with a strangely sullen faced Riku. Instantly, the conversation Kairi and I had this morning played back in my head like a broken record, as if I needed more bad memories creeping from my subconscious.

_"How do you know he's not already in love with Riku?"_

_Maybe Sora might not be in love with him, but what about Riku?!_

And almost as quickly as the thought came, the sweeping paranoia that strived to rampage through my mind swept over me like a wave of water. I was in desperate need for another distraction.

My cell phone came flying out of my pocket the moment I sat down at the table. I was ready for another cell phone interrogation with Riku when said second year suddenly snatched the phone from my clutches with a growl and slammed his free hand on the table to steady himself from the sudden movement.

"Stop the texting already!" he snarled, snapping my phone shut. "You have a voice so use it!"

He situated himself back in his spot, his fingers still clutched around my phone while his agitation subsided almost as quickly as it had appeared. One look at my bewildered expression sent an exasperated sigh my way and he said, "Hayner and Kairi told me about your texting conversation. I don't know what your problem is with talking normally but I need to talk to you about something important. I refuse to talk to you if you plan on using your cell phone."

Two can play this game!

I shrugged my shoulders at the second year and looked elsewhere, suddenly spotting the red head I was looking for approach Sora from behind. When did she get to the lunch room?!

"Roxas, I'm being serious. I need you to do something for me." Riku's words sounded from behind me but I ignored him, favoring in watching what Kairi had up her sleeves this time.

They were talking; Kairi was casual, a smile on her face like always while Sora looked almost cautious and nervous just being in close proximity to her. He even gave her a feeble laugh. She pretended not to notice.

"Roxas," Riku started again, this time letting his frustration known through his tone of voice, "I need you to ask Sora out on a date for Friday."

I tried. I really, really tried to pretend I hadn't heard, that what he said just went through one ear and out the other, but I couldn't. I tried so hard to fight the sudden impulsive desire to wheel around and hug the second year for even suggesting that I should take out his best friend for a date. I tried so hard to prevent myself from cracking a smile or questioning if Riku is actually giving me permission, or that he isn't in love with Sora in any way.

I tried. I really, really tried.

Yet, silentium's strength over me grows weaker by the day. So when his words finally sank in, by impulse, I spun around in my chair so fast I felt my spine crack in three different places and screamed, "YOU NEED ME TO DO WHAT?!"

Silence fell into the half empty cafeteria. My sudden outburst even stopped Naminé, Pence and Olette right in their tracks, their own bagged lunches clutched tightly in their hands. Riku, being the ever so cool and collected second year that he made himself out to be, only raised an eyebrow (making me feel like an even bigger idiot for embarrassing myself).

Why is it that every time I speak, it has to be through an outburst?!

"Ah, sounds like home." Naminé smiled.

Before Riku or I got the chance to question the other, Sora returned to the table with Kairi trailing behind him and Hayner, carrying his own tray of lunch, following soon after. Everyone sat themselves down into their usual spots, only this time, Hayner sat beside Olette with his cheeks dusting pink. They smiled shyly at each other, trading off their drinks before focusing all their attention into their lunches. Their little moment didn't go unnoticed to Naminé of course.

"I'm really happy you two decided to get together," she beamed at the blushing duo, "You guys look cute!"

At that, Sora suddenly tore his attention away from his lunch and flashed a bright smile. "You guys are together?!"

"It's about damn time," Riku grinned, "you finally manned up Hayner?"

"Like he had a choice!" Naminé suddenly huffed, "If it weren't for Kairi's kiss this morning, Olette wouldn't be eating with us."

At this Pence laughed, "Yeah, no kidding." But the rest of us weren't laughing.

Hayner lowered his eyes shamefully, the apples of his cheeks glowing a darker shade of pink. Olette on the other hand shrugged it off, acting as though she hadn't heard what Naminé said at all, but Riku and Sora suddenly eyed the blushing red head with shock.

"What the hell Kairi?! First Sora, now Hayner? Who's next then-Roxas?!" (Don't drag my name into this!)

"Of course not!" The girl huffed heatedly. "It's not your business who I kiss, Riku!"

"Yeah but-"

"I thought you knew about Olette's feelings for Hayner?!" Sora gaped. "You could have hurt her feelings, Kairi!"

"This isn't about that!" She blushed suddenly, "Sora, I just wanted you to-"

But her words were never got the chance when Riku quickly interjected, "You shouldn't waste your time Kairi. Sora's already taken!"

"What?!" came the chorus of voices around the table, even Sora seemed shocked by this.

"By who?!" Kairi cried, already shooting out of her chair with eyes glazing in tears. "By you?" She pointed accusingly to the silveret. (Dark paranoia crept steadily back into my mind…)

But he shook his head, silver locks of hair moving silkily around his eyes as he shook. "My heart belongs to someone else…" He sighed, his expression softening briefly before his eyes suddenly found their way toward mine. "Everybody knows he's dating Roxas."

Silence descended on the table again, only this time, it was broken by the sound of Riku's incredibly convincing lie: "I'm surprise you didn't know Kairi. Roxas was just telling me how he was planning on taking Sora out this Friday."

That sonva-

Kairi blanched. "What?"

Sora quickly turned my way, his own cheeks oddly red: "you… spoke…?"

And then, the interrogation began:

"I'm so proud of you onii-chan!" "He didn't text this time?!" "Wow Roxas! You're taking him to the carnival?" "You spoke to Riku but not with me?!" "You planned this from the beginning didn't you?! I should have known from the start!"

The voices joined in volume, but the subject was lost amidst the speaking. First it was questions about how I was going to surprise him, where was I taking him, why on a Friday. Then it transformed into talk of the carnival that was going to take place that very same Friday. The conversation turned to argument, the volume rose again and again until everyone was striving to be heard over the other.

No body at my table noticed the prying eyes of neighboring tables that stared at us with amusement and curiosity, or even agitation for making such a ruckus. But of course, seeing that he's a popular second year, Riku noticed the straying glances and quickly jumped to his feet, slamming his palms on top of the table for the second time that day. In an instant, we were silent again.

"Stop with the arguing already. If Roxas wants to take Sora out to the carnival this Friday then let him! We shouldn't get in the way young love." I swear the corner of his mouth twitched at his own words. "Speaking of which, I think we should do something together on Friday too Kairi."

Naminé, Hayner and Olette suddenly perked at that, their own eyes instantly falling Kairi's way expectantly. For a moment, I had the weirdest feeling that I missed something important; something that Riku had said apparently got their attention. And then it struck me-this is what he wanted to talk about with me. He wanted all obstacles out of his way so that Kairi would have no choice but to agree to go on a date with him! How sly.

Too bad Kairi found the loop hole: "Good idea. We should all go to the carnival too."

"So you can eavesdrop on their date?" Olette scoffed with a role of her leaf green eyes, "If you and Riku are planning on going to the carnival, then Hayner and I will too!"

"Well that's not fair. Naminé and I don't have dates." Pence frowned at the prospect of having to go dateless. He looked over toward Naminé; half expecting to see the dejected look on her face but to his surprise (and mine) Naminé focused blue eyes intently on her pudding. She looked like a girl trying to hide something.

"Oh man," Pence suddenly groaned in realization. "Don't tell me I'm the only person without a date for the carnival?"

My twin gave him a sheepish look and said, "Sorry Pence." (Since when did Naminé get a boyfriend?!)

"Wait a minute!" Sora suddenly jumped to his feet, joining Riku, Kairi and Olette as the only four standing (surprisingly enough, neither of them heard the little exchange between Pence and Naminé). "What's this about a carnival?"

"Have you been living under a rock?" Hayner frowned, giving Sora a look that even made me feel like an idiot. "It's been the talk of the school since last week!"

And thus the arguments began.

-x-X-x-

The Carnival, I didn't notice before, not with all the turmoil of memories rampaging inside my head bringing me closer to the brink of insanity - and Kairi's pursuit on Sora keeping me distracted the whole week - but Hayner was right. The news about the carnival had been circulating through Twilight High that there were even posters and flyers plastered onto walls, taped onto lockers - mostly Sora's - and littered all over the school hallways (I even slipped on one).

It sounded like a good way to keep my mind off things, especially now that my game of distraction with Kairi was reaching its end.

It was safe to say that Kairi hates me. If she didn't before then she does now. Whether she truly loathes my existence or is scorned by the fact that I was right and her selfish wish would never come true—it doesn't matter because right now, all I see is that she hates me. The last few days was proof enough…

Even though everyone whined and complained that the week wouldn't fly fast enough, to Kairi and me, this week was over in a blink of an eye. And maybe to Sora too, who had to go through with all the torment. (I feel a little bad for making him go through this…)

Kairi had spent most of her energy trying to capture Sora's attention. None of her attempts ever worked. Thanks to me.

For some stupid unknown reason, I, Roxas Uchiyama, challenged Kairi Uchida into a game of winning Sora's heart. My plan was just to prove to her that he wasn't in love with Riku-(but the voice in my head keeps chanting 'distraction, distraction')-and damn it I'll get Kairi to admit defeat even if it kills me! Or worse, even if it means...

I rather not think about it.

The day we started this game, we were locked in a kissing battle. I call it level one.

Whenever either of us spotted Sora, we instantly latched our mouths against his, kissing him completely breathless until he either fainted from the lack of oxygen or pushed us away. Having the most classes with him, this worked to my advantage (but my mind kept screaming, warning me to be careful, to watch my back, to be never caught-) He never pushed me away once and I always kissed him until he was panting for breath or on the verge of fainting.

Kairi wasn't too lucky. Riku always interfered and if it wasn't him, it was Sora always running off and hiding until the coast was clear. She took out her revenge on me at gym during that same day. (Kairi's spikes in volleyball hurt!)

On Tuesday, Kairi went to level two of our game: gift giving.

She showered him with cookies, baked chocolate, candy, homemade sea-salt ice cream (Okay I was jealous of that) and whatever her girly mind could come up with. (I wasn't even sure how the heck she managed to find the time to bake all those sweets!) He'd accept everything; of course, he was too polite to say otherwise. (Riku wouldn't stop ranting every time she gave Sora something though.) He got sick before lunch and spent the rest of the school day stuck in the infirmary from eating too many sweets.

Me, I didn't bake him cookies or chocolates or any sickeningly sweet confections. Oh no, I got lucky. Tuesday just happened to be the day a highly anticipated video game would be released. So right after school, I bought him the new Ultimate Delusion XIII video game, bought him a newly released CD of his favorite band and even opted to sing him something.

That sealed the deal.

She got her revenge the very next day.

On Wednesday, with everyone growing anxious about the carnival that Friday, level three of Kairi's "Get Sora to Fall in Love with Me and Not Roxas" game took it another step further: flirting. (As if our game wasn't obvious enough).

Seriously, FLIRTING?! Ugh, what a fun day that was…especially since silentium kept my mouth glued together the whole day.

Kairi was an expert in that category. She could be subtle and innocent one minute then impish and naughty the next. She took pride in her ability and even managed to woo the brunet at one point in the day, but Riku came to the rescue. He picked a fight with the red head, which he lost miserably but by the time Kairi finished lecturing the second year about how her business wasn't his, Sora was already long gone.

Maybe if I wasn't so stubborn, I would have thanked him for his help but I didn't want him rubbing that in my face later. Again, I kept my mouth shut.

On the last day of the game, Kairi took level four a little too far: touching. As in, groping and… God only knows what she was planning for level four! We never got the chance to fondle Sora, only because Riku—who somehow magically-thankfully-heard about our game and talked some sense into Kairi and smacked some sense into me. (Seriously, did he HAVE to hit me so hard!?)

The rest of our friends managed to find out too. Sora spent the majority of his Thursday dealing with taunts from both Hayner and Tidus, the all knowing giggles from Naminé and Selphie, the cautious stares from Riku, probably making sure that nothing else happens, and Pence, who only patted the brunet sympathetically on the back during gym.

Then, before we knew it, Friday finally arrived. It was time for the carnival.

-x-X-x-

"Whooaaa! Check out the Ferries Wheel!" "Hey did you bring enough money for cotton candy?" "Let's check out the game stands!" "Kairi, how can you enjoy the rides if you can hardly bend down without flashing your underwear?" "It doesn't concern you, Riku. If I want to wear a mini skirt I will."

It's been a while since the six of us hung out like this. It almost felt like old times and it would have been just like old times if it weren't for the lingering paranoia that kept eating me inside. We had all gathered in the Usual Spot then left for Tram Commons where the carnival had been spread out, making the usually calm Twilight Town oddly festive. From the core of the town, all the way out toward the outskirts-and even the Sandlot-we could see decorative lights, rides, booths, banners and smell the delicious barbeques cooking throughout the town.

It was almost shocking how something as big as this could have slipped by me. Well, I guess I had a reason, but how could Sora not notice half the town decorated like this?

Speaking of which, the brunet beside me examined the crowd of people all smiling, laughing and just having a good time when he suddenly tilted his head slightly and asked, "You think they turned the Old Mansion into a haunted house?"

I whipped out my cell phone and was about to reply when a tanned hand quickly grabbed the phone, blocking my view of the screen, ultimately preventing me from texting at all.

"Roxas," Sora sighed, wiggling the offending object right out of my hands. "Why don't you just talk to me? I'm right here."

Kairi giggled, shooting me a scathing glare that reminded me - more like warned me - that our little game wasn't over just yet. If anything, I knew Kairi had one more thing up her sleeve. I just wasn't sure what.

"So Naminé," Kairi began, suddenly ignoring my presence all together as we began our exploration through the crowds of people. "I thought you were going to bring a date along to the carnival?"

That's right; I hadn't gotten the chance to tell Cloud about Naminé's secret boyfriend! How the heck did I forget that?!

At the mention of it, Naminé's pale cheeks flushed pink shyly, her blue eyes quickly darting away from Kairi's curious gaze as a mellow sigh escaped her lips. "I wanted him to come today, but you know how third years are." She gave an impassive shrug. (Third year? My sister's dating a third year?!)

Our group was slowly dispersing. With Sora and Riku running off to challenge each other at a game booth nearby - and with Hayner and Pence deciding it was time to try out the carnival food - it was just me, Kairi, Olette and Naminé. We came here on dates yet somehow I'm left with all the girls and my sister. Would this be considered luck or seriously bad karma? (On the bright side, it kept Kairi distracted.)

"Naminé!" Kairi and Olette gasped in unison, but it was Olette who finished first: "You're dating a third year?"

"Since when?!" the red head cried. I could practically see those violet-blue eyes light up in interest.

Naminé flashed her friends a sheepish smile, probably feeling a little embarrassed talking about a topic as personal as this. She ignored my gaze all-together or my presence in general since both Kairi and Olette were hovering close to her in order to hear all the "juicy" details. Me, I wasn't hovering. I just wanted to know whether or not this secret boyfriend existed.

"Well I've known him since middle school. He used to be onii-chan's tutor so sometimes he would come over our house after school." - Something dropped to the pit of my stomach at that. Why does that sound so familiar…? - "We met again at the Halloween party last month." She smiled, her cheeks flushing pink once more. "I didn't think he remembered me but-Roxas watch out!"

Wait, what-?!

My sister's warning came a little bit too late. One minute I'm standing behind Kairi and Olette, the next I'm smashing roughly on the ground, scraping my palm and wrist in the process.

"Oh no! I'm such a klutz."

The blood in my body froze over like ice. That… sickening voice igniting my scars a flame. I didn't want to look up because I knew . . . ("Onii-chan are you okay?!")

I didn't want to take that pale bony hand stretched out in front of me because I knew . . . ("Are you hurt?")

I didn't want to move-to breathe-to even exist at that very moment because I knew Larxene's figure was towering over me, green eyes observing, pink lips smirking… (Always watching…)

"Now, now, don't be a stubborn boy." She cooed, bending over slightly so that her pale hand grew closer toward me. "You're not hurt are you?" I didn't need to see her face to know those sadistic poisonous green eyes were gleaming in delight. Like they always were whenever it came to me. Larxene always loved my pain . . .

"Roxas!" (Oh God please don't let him see this!) "What happened? Are you okay?" Sora flew to my side in no time and even helped me to my feet despite Larxene's out stretched hand.

"What's going on here?" Riku's voice questioned from somewhere behind the brunet. I guess they were done with their game . . .

Sora's ocean blue eyes examined the expression on my face, his own brows furrowing in concern. I guess he could sense my despair - then eyed Kairi, Olette and Naminé for answers when his eyes finally fell on Larxene, concern quickly transformed into curiosity.

She quickly flashed him that sickening falsetto smile of kindness and opened her mouth to explain. It would only take her a few seconds to come up with a lie - something along the lines of me standing in her way when it was she who purposely forced me to the ground. She was a good liar, just like . . . back then (Don't think, don't think) and just like now.

Silentium's hold was dissolving again. Even with Sora's hands resting on my shoulders, even with him so close in proximity, knowing she was here ready to spin another endless bout of bull crap-again and again-NO! Having her being here, having her so close to Sora, to my friends, my sister-having her anywhere near around those that I cared about had my fear transforming into rage.

Before I even realized it, the strings of silentium snapped.

"Well you see-"

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." I interjected, suddenly feeling all eyes fall on me. No doubt she wasn't expecting me to speak in front of her. I could almost feel her unexpressed anger boiling within, but I didn't care. Her anger couldn't compare to my rage.

"But your hand-"

"I think," I started again, feeling adrenaline and rage rush through my veins as I turned to face the woman who had terrorized me and haunted my very dreams. (In all the while, I could see Kairi, Olette and Naminé watch us in confusion and interest. I had a feeling Sora and Riku were doing the same.) "You owe me an apology."

Larxene's falsetto smile twitched at the sound of my voice, even her eyes flashed in shock before she caught herself and kept her act in place. Green eyes narrowed ever so slightly, it was hardly noticeable to the others but I knew better - Larxene Gray was seething for vengeance. "Hmph! don't make me laugh with such an insulting request." She turned away from the rest of us; her eyes glancing over her should at me in warning. "You should watch where you're standing next time!"

At her words, Naminé's expression changed to outrage. "You should watch where you're going!" She snapped hotly. "You ran into him!"

My sister's words were ignored entirely, just like everyone else in the crowd. The only thing that mattered to Larxene was what she would do to me the moment she got the chance. Her green eyes were enough to voice the unspoken thoughts swirling in her mind.

People who break their promises should be punished.

My rage suddenly fizzled to smoke.

-x-X-x-

I'm an idiot! AN IDIOT! Why did I even talk back?! Why did I even THINK of breaking silentium?! Why did I let myself walk into my own death sentence?

"Roxas! Slow down! Where are we going?"

She'll tell him what I did! She'll tell . . . he'll find me again . . . they'll, they'll - No, I don't want to think about it!

"Roxas!" Sora's voice snapped me out of my rampaging thoughts. Everything that happened suddenly caught up with me again.

I broke out into a run the moment my panic set in, it just happened that Sora decided to chase after me. We ran through crowds, knocking into some people, jumping over obstacles and avoiding what we could when my feet carried me toward one of the biggest rides throughout the carnival: the Ferris wheel.

My feet automatically stopped in front of the looming ride, eyes watching the rainbow of colors swirl and blink in a hypnotic pattern, lighting up the surrounding buildings and the various faces around us. Sora finally appeared by my side, resting his weight against his knees as he bent over for air. "J-jeez, what were you trying to run away from?"

Everything. My mind answered for me, but I bit my lower lip in restraint, still feeling the faint strings of silentium lingering in the back of my conscious. "Sora," My voice startled me. My lips were moving on their own accord. "I have…" the strings of silentium tightened its hold around my throat. "Do you want to ride the Ferris wheel with me?"

He didn't give me a verbal reply - his vibrant smile answered enough.

-x-X-x-

The height of the Ferris wheel wasn't anything compared to the Clock tower. From the clock tower you could see the whole town, how far it extended the moving dots of people from down below and the red setting sun in the distance. Being on the clock tower was special on its own but there was something about the Ferris wheel that felt comforting. We couldn't see very far, not like the clock tower, but we could still see the setting sun in the horizon.

Sora sat in front of me with excited eyes watching the horizon and the occasional balloon floating by. When we finally reached the top, the Ferris wheel paused, rattling the gondola slightly.

"I think we're at the top." the brunet muttered, taking one good look of the setting sun before sitting back against the seat, his eyes suddenly growing serious. The comfortable atmosphere between us suddenly turned to tension. I knew what he was going to say. "Something happened back there, right? With Larxene. Please tell me."

I felt the strings tightened then wavered because this was Sora. There was something about the look in his eyes that gave me courage and comfort. And for once in my life, I didn't feel afraid.

"In my third year of middle school, one of my teachers signed me up for a tutoring program. They would assign us someone from the high school according to how well they were doing in class." I licked my lips for a moment, casting blue eyes toward Sora only to find him watching me with intense eyes. "I was assigned to a second year with high marks. And with his help, I managed to get outstanding grades, enough to get into Twilight High but when summer came around…"

The strings tightened again, my throat instantly going dry that I had to cough.

Sora slipped out of his seat and found a place beside me. Tanned hands made their way to mine, encasing them with comforting warmth. I found courage through his touch. So I went on.

"My tutor found me interesting, I guess. So when I told him that I passed my classes, he invited me to his place to celebrate. I didn't have a lot of friends back then-" Sora's grip on my hand tightened, but remained silent as I went on. "So I was really excited to be invited anywhere, let alone somebody else's house. That day I decided not to tell Naminé and Cloud where I was going because I thought that maybe they would want to come. Or Naminé at least."

"When I got there, I was surprised to see his girlfriend waiting for me. My tutor only mentioned her a few times… but he invited her over to celebrate with us."

I stopped, not because I wanted to but because Sora's hand fell away from mine. I watched them grab a hold of the edge of our seats and tightened, as if he were bracing himself to hear something that could ruin his day. Maybe he was right. This wasn't something a person should say during a carnival.

I made up my mind then, just to spare him the trouble of carrying a burden that wasn't his but before I got the chance to tell him, his voice stopped me from speaking.

"Your tutor," he began, his grip tightening again. "It was Marluxia wasn't it?"

My eyes widened at the sudden shock. "W-wha-h-how did…"

The brunet shook his head, brows furrowing in anger. "At the Halloween party when I tried getting Kairi out of the bathroom, there was a window that faced the front gates. So I checked to see if you were still there…" Sora suddenly turned his face toward me, his usually cheery face distorted in anger with tears on the verge of spilling. But he didn't dare cry, at least not yet. "I saw him hit you! And you didn't even put up a fight. When you started avoiding us and you stopped talking… I put the two together. Please tell me, what did he do?"

"I'll show you." I whispered, lifting off my seat and began to pull away my shirt until my back was bared to show the world.

Sora's silence grew heavy and for a moment, I thought that maybe he was repulsed by what he was seeing, at least, until something warm touched the disfiguring scar. By reflex, my body flinched under contact but to my surprise my scars didn't burn with pain or prickle as a foreboding reminder. All I could feel was Sora's fingers.

"H-he did this to you?"

I shook my head. "Larxene did. When I arrived to his apartment, Larxene gave out the lemonade and slipped something into my drink. Before I knew it, she stripped me bare and together they…" Not even as the memory of that horrid day flash before my eyes did my scars burn. They remained for the first time in my life nothing but scars. "Anyway, when they had their way with me, Larxene decided to mark what was theirs. I spent most of my summer hoping they would never find me again, but they always did."

The gondola suddenly shuttered, slowly snapping me out of my reel of memories. I lowered my shirt again the moment Sora pulled his hands away and tried to face him when pairs of arms wrapped around my torso. I felt him draw close, his body pressing against mine when his voice suddenly whispered beside my ear.

"They will never hurt you again Roxas. Not as long as you have me and our friends by your side." His hold around me tightened. "I promise you that."

-x-X-x-

_They will never hurt you again Roxas. Not as long as you have me and our friends by your side._

It's already been a few days since Sora said those words, but I can still hear them clear as day in my mind.

_Not as long as you have me…_

His voice kept repeating, like a broken record on an endless rewind, but it doesn't bother me. It doesn't bother me at all. It wasn't like my nightmarish memories that re-play in my mind's eye whenever it wanted; it wasn't a constant horrifying reminder of something I so desperately wanted to forget.

It was nice.

It was comforting.

It was Sora's promise to me.

But most important of all, it kept silentium at bay.

"I can't wait for homecoming! I'm so excited!"

Selphie's overly chirpy voice suddenly derailed my train of thought, sending it crashing into the back of my mind. The world around me refocused again, rudely reminding me that I had once again dazed off in the bustling cafeteria during the wait for the rest of the usual posse.

"Homecoming?" Riku quirked an eyebrow as though it were the weirdest thing he had ever heard coming out of Selphie's mouth. Not that it wasn't impossible; Selphie had said weirder things before. "I don't remember Twilight High having this many events before. Back in my first year, all we had were stupid Valentine dances and school festivals."

That's right, how could I forget about Homecoming? It was the next big event on Twilight High's agenda. Well, official agenda, since the Halloween Party was more of a private senior thing and the Carnival was completely coincidental-wait a minute. Wouldn't this be the first official high school event ever? That explained the strange noise volume in the cafeteria.

That also explained what the hype this morning was about. Most of the girls in our class were so excited, they spent majority of their free time going on and on about secret crushes and love confessions and whatever the Hell-I couldn't make sense of it. Even the guys in our class were a bit pre-occupied.

It was just a dance! What's so special about a dance?

"So Naminé, are you going to introduce us to your mysterious boyfriend at the dance?" Selphie grinned slyly the moment my twin had finally joined the table.

Something dropped to the pit of stomach at Selphie's comment. That's right; I never got the chance to interrogate Naminé about her boyfriend. I spent the majority of my weekend re-playing Sora's words in my mind that everything else didn't matter anymore-not even the possible threat of Larxene's revenge for my defiance.

Naminé flashed a sheepish smile, a bright pink blush dusting her pale cheeks suddenly.

Selphie's grin grew more mischievous and she leaned her torso across the lunch table toward me—instantly earning the attention of Sora, who had only just arrived with Kairi in tow.

She beckoned me closer, arching her index finger in a come-hither motion. I complied, drawing my face closer toward her until she cupped her hands around her mouth and whispered into my ear, "Namy's got a secret l-o-v-e-r."

"Not for anything Selph, but I already knew imouto had a boy-" Wait. LOVER?! "YOU'RE HAVING SEX?!" I screamed, slamming my palms against the lunch table and shooting right off my chair.

Half of the lunchroom fell silent and turned toward our table, but I was completely oblivious to their curious stares. My attention focused intently on Naminé, who was bright red in embarrassment and hid her face behind her hands.

Selphie fell back in her chair, giggling, laughing—generally enjoying the whole fact that I'm too freaking shocked to understand that my younger-by-three-minutes sister has a sex life that not even Cloud and I knew about!

The rest of our table fell silent; all eyes focused on me curiously, all the newcomers (which included Pence, Olette and Hayner) having absolutely no clue what we were talking about.

"Have you told Cloud about this?!"

That got her attention. Naminé suddenly flew out of her seat; her hands pressed on top of the lunch table like mine, her eyes were wide with disbelief.

"Don't tell him onii-chan!" She cried. "What I do with my love life is none of your business or Nii-sans!"

Silence fell between us, our cerulean eyes locked onto each other in a stare down.

I can tell she doesn't want me to tell, but finding out that my own twin was involved in that way with a third year behind my back when I still hadn't gotten the chance to ask Sora out—even after Kairi's little game—was scary enough. Besides, what if her boyfriend is a total creep!? As her older brother, isn't it my job to evaluate and make sure that he's man enough for my little sister?

Yeah, I think so.

Naminé's eyes widened in realization, reading the decision that flashed within my eyes. I jerked into motion, pushing the chair back violently and dashing toward the door before anyone in the table could realize it—she was right behind me as usual.

"ROXAS DON'T YOU DARE!" She screamed.

Everyone at our table quickly followed us, Pence already whipping out his portable camera—sometimes he took random pictures of us, don't ask why. He always said it was for memory purposes.

I burst through the cafeteria doors, my eyes quickly scanning the cold, grassy lawn for any sign of spiky blonde hair or a mane of chocolate brown. Whenever I saw Leon, I would find my brother that was usually how it worked. And just my luck, I found Cloud hanging around the bike rack with his other friends—Leon included. Automatically, my legs began to move.

"CLOUD!" I yelled as loudly as I could, which was surprising enough.

"ROXAS STOP!" My sister screamed behind me.

"CLOUD!" I frailed my arms wildly around, hoping it would grab his attention. "CLOUD! CLOU—uwaahh!"

My sister rammed herself behind me, her whole weight forcing me down to the solid, cold ground. I felt her fingers snake into my hair and force my face straight into the grass, muffling my yelling. I flailed against her weight, trying hard to get her off but she kept me firmly down with some unknown weight. I had no idea she could be that heavy.

"Sorry nii-san!" She yelled to Cloud, probably waving him off in hopes that he wouldn't approach us.

I guess it didn't work—her grip on my hair grew tight. Cloud must be coming over.

"Don't kill him, Naminé." It was Sora's voice. "I didn't get the chance to ask him out yet."

"Like that matters," Olette's voice this time. "We already know you two like each other."

Hayner suddenly snickered—looks like everyone caught up to our chase. "Yeah, the whole school knows you're flamboyantly gay for Roxas."

"Hayner!" The brunet cried and said blonde replied with a soft "oof" which could only mean that Sora smacked him somewhere.

"Hey Cloud!" resounded the girls happily, Selphie with a dreamy sigh, Kairi and Olette with casual smiles and my sister in a tone that only made her hold on my hair tighten more.

"Imouto, are you trying to be an only twin?"

"Never nii-san! I love Roxy too much." And yet she pushes my face further into the grass. Love you too Namy.

"Naminé," Pence sounded weird, maybe a little concerned. "He's not moving."

I only stopped resisting since I knew it wouldn't have gotten her off, but Pence gave me an idea. Playing dead might actually work.

"Is he okay?" Selphie's usual cheer made way for worry.

"Is he even breathing?" Hayner sounded almost as concerned as Pence and I could even imagine a frown on his face.

"Roxas?" Sora sounded small and almost disbelieving.

"Onii-chan?" Naminé nudged my head. "Onii-chan?"

When silence greeted them, the atmosphere swarmed with panic.

"Oh my god!"

"Somebody call the nurse!"

"Forget the nurse, get Aerith!"

"Somebody get a phoenix down!"

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan!" Naminé urgently slid off my back and forced me over—I held my breath for extra effect.

"DON'T GO INTO THE LIGHT ROXAS!" Sora wailed the soft rustling of grass made me think he fell to his knees.

"Quick Sora! Give him CPR!" Riku yelled with such a convincing demand that I could have almost believed he was being serious, but the damn bastard was joking.

"That only has a 22% success rate!" Olette, the ever so smart one cried.

"Roxas!" Cloud's voice sounded beside me, he must be kneeling—now is my cue.

My hand instantly shot out in the direction of Cloud's voice, fingers wrapping around the soft fabric of the plaid blue tie and pulled him down close to my face, his ear hovering above my lips.

"Imouto's sexually active." I whispered, loud enough for him to hear, but quietly enough so that Naminé couldn't hear us.

Just then, Cloud's face, which had been stricken with momentary panic and confusion, became completely stoic.

I sat up on the grass, finally silencing the panicking group around me and glanced back at Cloud and Naminé.

"Roxas!" Sora cried, throwing his arms around me. "We thought you were a goner! If you died before homecoming, I would have had to come and drag you back from the afterlife!"

"Is that all you see me for?" I muttered with a roll of my eyes. "A date for homecoming?"

"Idiot, I wouldn't want to dance with anyone else but you."

"Naminé."

Cloud's solemn voice ended our conversation and we all stared back at the two blondes staring eye to eye.

"Cloud?"

"Is that true?"

"What is?"

"You know what I'm referring to." He sounded utterly serious; it was three times more serious than the time he almost killed me. "You have a boyfriend." It was a statement, not a question.

Naminé didn't hesitate. She nodded her head, blue eyes flaming with determination and stubborn pride. She wasn't going to back down on this—I could feel it in my gut.

"Yes nii-san, I have a boyfriend." –cue the sudden gasps from the rest of our group—"We met back at the Halloween Party."

Cloud's eyebrow twitched exactly the same way mind did. That explained why I hadn't seen Naminé during the party.

"He's a third year?" Our eyebrows twitched in unison.

She nodded confidently. "His name is Marluxia, nii-san."

My breath caught in my chest. I didn't think I heard her right, but somehow I knew.

Instantly, my mind flashed back to the Carnival, Naminé's words ringing within my ears: Well, I've known him since middle school. He used to be onii-chan's tutor so sometimes he would come over our house after school. We met again at the Halloween party last month.

I'm such an idiot. I should have known. I should have KNOWN!

Without realizing it, my hand stretched out to Naminé's shoulder, forcefully—without meaning to—spinning her around so that she could face me properly.

"Marluxia?" I repeated the name, hardly able to conceal the wince. I hated the way his name sounded in my mouth. "Marluxia Ikeda?"

She nodded.

She. Fucking. Nodded.

My grip grew tight around her shoulders.

"Marluxia? The third year with the pink hair?" Hayner cocked a curious eyebrow, picturing the man's menacing face in his mind. "I thought he was going out with that french blonde girl, um, L—something."

"Larxene." Olette added with a nod.

"Yeah! Her!"

"I heard they broke up a while ago." Pence rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"I don't like him." Riku shook his head with a frown. "He gives me a bad vibe whenever I see him around."

They went off, chatting, talking—they went off in conversation talking about the very man that ruined my life.

Sora was the only one who remained silent, his own hand resting gently against my shoulder. He was telling me he was there, like I knew he would be, but he was holding me back too. He didn't want me to run, he didn't want me to hide—he didn't want me to kill my sister for being so fucking oblivious.

My grip grew tighter again, nails digging into the cloth fabric of her white uniform.

She winced.

"Onii-chan—"

"Are you sleeping with him?" I asked, quietly but still loud enough for her to hear.

"I—onii-chan—"

I cut her off again; blue eyes glaring spitefully back at hers. "Are you sleeping with him, Naminé!" It came out more as a demand than a question. Whether it was true or not, I wasn't going to let my little sister go through the same horror that I went through.

She stared at me in silence, her brows furrowing in disbelief, like she couldn't believe that I was asking her such a personal question. But I wasn't going to back down and she knew it. The next thing I knew, she lowered her head suddenly, rubbing her right arm in the same way she did whenever she was embarrassed about something. She didn't need to say anything, I knew what that signal meant.

"Naminé—!"

It was Cloud who cut me off: "I won't allow this."

She looked between us, as if disbelieving what she was hearing, but her shock quickly turned into fury and she swatted my hands away from her.

"You can't tell me what to do! Neither of you!" She snapped at us, jumping to her feet. "I don't care if he's older than me, I enjoy being with him! He makes me happy!"

"That doesn't matter—"

"He's USING you Naminé!" I interrupted loudly, too many emotions swirling in the pit of my stomach.

"Ridiculous! Why would he use me?"

"So he could get to ME!"

"Not everything's about YOU Roxas!" She cried, her eyes shimmering with tears.

"You have no idea what this is about!" I shot to my feet, over towering her by two inches. "Marluxia knows you're my sister, Naminé! He's only dating you to get back at me!"

"NO!" She yelled, frantically shaking her head with her hands pressed against her ears. "That's NOT TRUE! I don't believe you!"

"Roxas! Naminé!" Cloud called, but we didn't hear him.

I didn't notice it before, but the rest of the group had backed away from us, yet stayed close enough to hear. Various on lookers glanced our way, some hearing bits and pieces of our yells while others heard nothing at all.

Leon stood at bay, ready to jump into action if need be, just like the rest of Cloud's friends were. They watched us from the bike rack, all eyes jumping from speaker to speaker, hearing but understanding nothing of what was going on.

I didn't care. Neither did Naminé. It was only her and I at this point.

"Fine!" I hiss angrily, my fingers flying toward my tie. "I'll show you proof Naminé! I'll show you what your fucking boyfriend did to me!"

"Roxas!"

I ignored Sora's pleads and ripped off my tie—flinging it carelessly on the cold ground—then moved toward the buttons. I didn't wait to unbutton everything, the first three buttons I reached, I pulled off my uniform—and the white tank—then spun around to Naminé.

She gasped audibly, hands flying toward her mouth, face growing pale.

I can only imagine how it looks under the sun. When in my room, the lights weren't always bright enough to see the full extent of Larxene's knife. It was probably worse now than what I'm used to seeing.

"Is that enough proof for you, Naminé?! Your boyfriend's handy work isn't pretty!" I slipped my tank back on, feeling subconscious under the reality of the situation and spun back around to face her.

She was mortified, horrified, shocked—whatever word fit her expression at that moment—she looked completely unlike my usually angelic, innocent sister.

"Snap out of this Naminé! He's got you under his spell, he's just using you in the same way he's used me. You're nothing but a stupid pawn to him, don't you realize that? He doesn't love you-he's only in love with himself, nothing else!" I cried, reaching out a hand toward her, but she slapped it away, her pale hands clenching into fists.

We stood that way, all eyes focused on us, the atmosphere tense. But neither one of us wanted to say another word in fear of Naminé snapping.

She never did. She never said a word. She couldn't say a word. She only shook her head and ran.

-x-X-x-

She left us there, standing around awkwardly with silence enveloping all of us. Olette and Selphie took off after her, no doubt the two planning on trying to console whatever raging emotions Naminé tried to hold back and make sense of the situation. But everyone else, me, Sora, Cloud, his friends, my friends-we all stood around, waiting, watching.

Waiting for somebody to speak. Waiting for an explanation.

It was Cloud who first broke the silence, demanding answers from me, demanding the story I should have told the day it happened…

So I did. I told my story, from the beginning to the very end.

When I finished, I hardly realized it, but somehow through my story Sora's hand managed to snake into my own, giving me a reassuring squeeze with every word I spoke.

She stopped talking to us too, my twin. It was the first time I saw silentium on someone that wasn't me. It was unsettling. Here she was, my once so jubilant, bright eyed innocent imouto no longer speaking, no longer happy. She avoided us-our friends, Cloud, me-throughout the whole day until school ended; then she only ignored Cloud and me.

She ate dinner in silence, saying nothing unless mom asked her usual set of questions: how was your day? What did you learn? etc…

After that, it was like we didn't have a sister.

The next day wasn't any different. She ate breakfast in silence, changed in silence, and sat alone on the bus in silence. Naminé kept her cold shoulder to everyone she knew-and it tore me up inside. I hated myself for letting this happen, Naminé is my imouto! I'm supposed to protect her, not hurt her. Not like this, even if it was meant for her well being, but knowing that fact didn't make it hurt any less.

"I can't take this anymore," to demonstrate my point, I dropped my head against my desk; reveling its cool surface. "Naminé's silence is killing me."

"Now you know how I felt." the brunet beside me chuckled, though his laugher subsided almost as quickly as it began. "She really likes him, doesn't she?" he frowned sadly at the thought.

I couldn't help but to agree. I felt bad that my sister had to fall in love with a creep like Marluxia. Hell, I almost wish her secret lover was Riku instead. Whoa, whoa, no way! On second thought why can't my sister just not date at all? There's nothing wrong with being single forever!

"Why couldn't she date Pence instead?" I muttered, sitting back up straight in my chair. "He'd make the perfect boyfriend for her."

At the mention of the rounded brunet, we glanced toward the other side of the homeroom where Pence was currently trying to break through Naminé's cold shoulder. But he, like everyone else before him, was ignored. Watching him turn away dejectedly made my heart tighten in grief.

This was outrageous. Marluxia wasn't even here and it still felt like his presence was around us. How long does he plan to keep stalking me? How long does he plan on taking away everything I love? What he did to me was one thing, but getting involved with my sister is another thing completely! Who next-Sora?! Not on my life.

"I've had enough." my own voice startled me, having it come out in a low growl; it sounded too threatening to be my own. "I can't take this anymore!" On impulse, my body jerked off the chair, my hands slamming palm down against my desk, alarming a few curious students nearby.

Sora stood up from his own chair, his concern and alarm etched on his usually cheery face. "Roxas," he tried, his brows suddenly furrowing thoughtfully as his eyes looked intently into mine. We stood that way for a moment, our eyes locked, completely ignoring the commotion around us when unexpectedly, Sora grabbed my hand.

"Wha-?"

"Naminé is your sister as well as my friend. Whatever you're going to do, I'm with you every step of the way." He smiled warmly-oh god did my stomach just flip?

I gave him a smile of my own, adding a squeeze to our linked hands for reassurance when the class bell rang, signaling the transition to a new class.

"Today after school," I told him, neither one of us making a move to leave from our spots. "Everything ends tonight."

-x-X-x-

Tonight, I suddenly realized, was the night of the dance.

Homecoming was kind of like Prom, it was the first official event of the school year—third year parties don't count—and were usually considered one of the biggest events that could ever happen to the average teenager, besides graduating high school. Honestly?

I could care less.

I was only going because Sora wanted to go… and because Marluxia wasn't going to miss the opportunity of flaunting my little sister around like a prized possession!

We were more than thirty minutes late to the dance, mostly because I was so inclined in not going, but Sora wouldn't have it. He spent twenty minutes ransacking my closet for a presentable pair of shoes and a worthy set of clothes that could remotely pass off as a suit for the dance. Maybe if I hadn't had silentium plaguing my very existence, I would have bothered to go shopping for appropriate clothes for the dance when Cloud and Naminé did.

Sora and I sat at the group table, eyes scanning throughout the gymnasium-turned-ballroom for any sign of blonde, blonde and pink. Luckily for us, there was no sign of my twin or her date from Hell. Not even his little minion was anywhere in sight.

I admit I feel guilty that Sora can't enjoy the dance like everyone else. I don't pretend I hadn't seen him watching Kairi and Riku dance (more like dry hump) together or Hayner and Olette engaged in a make out session very discreetly in the darkest corner of the gym.

I know he feels left out of the fun—it hurts me to see him look that way—but…

"I'm sorry." I sighed heavily.

"For what?" He frowned curiously.

"For making you miss out in all the dancing."

He laughed softly, slipping his hand into my grasp under the table. He shook his head reassuringly, a soft smile appearing on his lips. "It's okay, I don't mind. As long as I get to be with you, I'm happy." He laughed again, his free hand scratching the back of his head nervously. "Wow. That sounded really cliché, huh?"

I smiled at him, taking the moment into my advantage and leaned closer to him, our faces only inches apart. "Maybe," I whispered, my fingers caressing his jaw line carefully but placing my thumb onto his chin. "But it's cute." My lips pressed against his, soft, loving, caring—everything I wanted to remind him that he is.

He returned the kiss eagerly, just as soft, but passionate and hungry. He doesn't realize how much of a tease he can be sometimes.

We pulled away almost breathlessly, eyes half-lidded with growing desire, lips still parted, beckoning, calling—but we don't drift closer for another kiss.

It's at that time Naminé decides to show up with Marluxia at her side. The two of us rise to our feet, eyes locked into hateful glares at the pink haired man.

Naminé never noticed us; her eyes were always looking the other direction. She was avoiding me; I knew that much, but it still didn't hurt me any less. My own sister took Marluxia's side over mine.

The third year glances our way, the bored look on his face quickly changing into a mischievous smirk. His grip around my sister's waist tightens. With a flick of his pink bouncy locks, he led her to the dance floor without so much as a word to us.

-x-X-x-

Homecoming became unbearably high in tension.

While the rest of the student body didn't really notice it nor really bother to care, my friends and I certainly did. We were all scattered throughout different parts of the gym, eyes wandering all over the bobbing heads looking for a specific pink haired man and a sleek blonde woman. So far, Larxene hadn't shown her face yet. I doubt she would, she was never really that social and Marluxia is only here to psyche me out.

It's his little game he likes to play with me.

There was one good thing about him showing up though—I can't believe I'm actually saying it—but if Marluxia hadn't been so inclined on dancing with Naminé, Sora would never have gotten his slow dance. We exploited it—a lot—all in the name of spying.

Two hours since the dance began and there still was no sign of Larxene. Marluxia's angel guise wasn't helping at all either. At this rate, I think I'm losing this battle of his.

"I'm going to the restroom." I yelled over the booming music.

After the fifth slow dance had finished playing, the whole group decided to sit around the table to feast on left over snacks that were left for us thanks to Pence's quick thinking. The others were breathless, laughing, chewing on chips and drinking punch, soda, water—whatever liquid was in their plastic cups.

Sora's blue eyes scan over to the dance floor, pin pointing Marluxia and Naminé before nodding his head in approval. That was something we came up with in the beginning of the dance. We told everyone to keep alert and to always have an eye on him in case any one of us needed to leave the gym. I guess that was my paranoia getting the best of me. If Marluxia could manipulate my sister at his will, I didn't want to risk him manipulating the rest of my friends either.

I slipped out of my chair and left for the men's room.

The locker rooms would have been easier, but Coach Phil thought that we might use it for more than just using the bathroom. He had them sealed off before the dance began.

Stepping outside of the gym, I realized one thing: the hallways were eerily silent. Usually there was at least one group of giggling girls dashing back and forth into the bathroom at dances like this, but the strange stillness told me that everyone that mattered was inside the gym.

I think I was the only one standing out here.

"Maybe I should have stayed in there." I mumbled to myself.

"That's the smartest thing I've heard you say," said a voice that made my blood freeze. "Guess who, Roxy?" She giggled; her voice sounded closer than before.

I jerked around quickly, facing the pale face of the sleek blonde haired Larxene. Shockingly enough, she was wearing a long slender black dress that hugged the curves of her body with spaghetti straps wrapped around her slender shoulders. If she weren't my enemy and probably not about to kill me in bloody murder, I would have complimented her.

Pffft-Over my dead body!

"Larxene." I growled viciously. "I knew you'd show up."

She giggled again, her eyes flashing that too well known sadistic gleam. "Oh Roxas, is that how you treat an old time friend?" She pouted so sickeningly sweet.

"Like hell you are!" I hissed. "If you want to play games with me then fine, but tell your boss to stop messing with my friends! Especially my sister!"

"Marluxia is not my boss, Roxy." She glared spitefully at me. "He and I are equal. He's not above me!"

The ends of my lips twitched into a crude smirk. Larxene was quick to anger, but she was so easy to manipulate. No wonder Marluxia had her around.

"Oh yeah? Then why are you following his orders? If he's not "above" you, then why did he ask you find me out here?"

I glanced into the dark gym, catching a vague sight of the table our group sat at—we made a point to pick the table closest to the door, but hidden by the shadows so that no one would recognize who we were. I can't tell if any of my friends can see me with Larxene, it looked like the whole table was abandoned. I just hope they left to call the cops.

Larxene's malicious giggle tore my eyes away from the empty table. She was looking at me with that look of hers, her hands slipping slowly out of view.

"I've been watching you. I've watched you slowly shed that pretty little mask we gave you. And for what? For some little spiky haired boy?" Her eyes flashed briefly with hate at the mention of Sora on her tongue, but it quickly melted away just like every other emotion of hers. "Did you forget your promise to us, Roxy? Did you forget what silentium meant, hmm? If you did then it's my duty to REMIND YOU!"

She lunged at me, sharp nails suddenly clasping against my shoulders and ramming my whole body against the nearest wall. The back of my head slammed against the hard surface, shooting pain throughout the rest of my body. She slammed me hard against the wall again, trying her best to rip a groan from my throat, but I fight it.

I won't give her that satisfaction anymore!

She threw me aside with amazing strength, watching me stumble backward to the floor. Through the blurry haze, I watched her lift her dress above her knee—for a second I panic—until she slipped the small knife from her stocking.

The very same knife she used to carve into my back.

Instantly, my back flared in unbearable pain—I fought back the urge to wince.

"You've broken your promise to us, Roxy." She laughed, stepping toward me. "And you know what that means? People who break their promises should be punished!"

"Because that's what Marluxia Ikeda did to you, am I right?" I snarled.

Larxene stopped dead in her tracks; her eyes flashing dangerously like the gleaming blade of her knife.

"What did you say?" Her voice was low and dangerous, like the low rumble of an upcoming thunderstorm.

"You heard me." I gave her a smug smile—I felt like a mouse trying to negotiate with a hungry cat—I never showed it once through my face. "You say Marluxia sees you as an equal, but you know what I see? I see his little minion trying to do all the dirty work for him because at some point, you were just like me! His little pawn. Where's your mark Larxene? Where's your silentium?"

"SHUT UP!" She screamed lunging toward me with her knife held high. "I'll teach you the TRUE meaning of SILENCE!"

My hands flew helplessly up toward my face defensively—a completely useless reflex but it made me feel a little better—before I heard the familiar sound of someone calling out.

A sudden screech pierces through my ears, the high pitch wail echoing down the empty hall for only me to hear, but something tells me that I'm not alone anymore.

My eyes snapped open in time to see Larxene cradling her injured hand, the knife discarded carelessly a few feet behind her. Her eyes shot up toward the figures behind me, fire blazing frantically behind those emerald eyes of hers.

"If you want to mess with Roxas then you're gonna have to mess with us first!" Cried a voice not too far from where we stood.

I knew that voice.

I craned my head around, eyes widening in disbelief.

Standing by the second entrance of the gym stood… my friends. Every one of them dressed in formal homecoming attire, but with eyes that screamed overwhelming hate. Even Naminé stood beside Sora; her eyes filled with outrage and glimmering with unshed tears. She held something tightly within her fist, something that looked like a cell phone. Her cell phone.

No words could express how I felt at that moment.

"Give it up Larxene! We've already called the cops." Sora growled

"Yeah! Better not mess with us!" Tidus sneered, followed by various other gestures of agreement.

"You're outnumbered." Riku added.

Larxene growled in agitation, her green eyes jumping from face to face and her hand gripping tightly to her injured wrist.

"That bastard!" She hissed venomously. "That-that-son of a bitch! He never mentioned anything about this. I'm out of here!" She cried; dashing down the hall before anyone could stop her.

I scrambled to my feet, eyeing my friends making their way toward me. I couldn't help the smile that slipped across my face. For the second time in my life, I truly felt what it was like to have friends deeply care for you as you did for them. It made me swell with so much hope and pride. Maybe things could look up?

Or I could just jinx it.

"Stop right there." Click.

I forgot about Marluxia.

Sora and the others stopped dead in their tracks, their faces paling to unnaturally white colors.

Something cold and metallic pressed against my head—a gun, definitely—and the person whose index finger rested on the trigger was none other than Marluxia.

I would have broken into panic, maybe, if it weren't for the weird look on Sora's face. His seconds of shock and horror melted away, leaving behind a small mask of indifference, but it was his eyes that caught my attention. His beautiful deep ocean blue eyes were filled with confidence, determination and a small hint of triumph.

It was then that I realized everything was going to be all right. There was a plan unfolding; I just had to make sure not to panic.

"If you don't want him to get hurt then do as I say," Marluxia sneered behind me. "Maybe I'll spare him the pain. Maybe."

That's when they did it. Sora and Riku glanced at each other in mutual agreement—completely destroying the atmosphere of spite that filled the hall. Every one—Sora, Riku, Naminé, Kairi, Hayner, Olette, Pence, Selphie, Tidus, Wakka—crossed their arms and glared.

I felt Marluxia stiffen behind me. He wasn't one to back down without a fight, but before he could get the chance to do anything—there was a loud crash from behind me. Marluxia's body instantly jerked backward followed by the sound of hard metal crashing on the floor.

I spun around instantly, wide eyes catching sight of Cloud already embracing me in his arms and Leon—along with their dates Tifa and a short haired brunette third year in a sky blue dress—stared down at the fallen body of Marluxia. Strangely enough, a blonde haired boy—he looked like a third year—stood by Leon looking as confused as ever.

Then, standing by the unconscious mass of black and pink that was Marluxia's body, stood a flaming red head with mesmerizing green eyes and triangular tattoos on the apple of his cheeks. He dusted off his hands, splinters and remnants of the chair he used to bash Marluxia's head in, flicked off above the unconscious man.

"I accept your apology, Axel." Said Cloud once he finally released me.

The red head laughed, rejoining his place beside his blonde haired companion. "Good. I always wanted to bash that guy's head in anyway." He grinned.

"The police should be here soon." Olette smiled. "Naminé called them in a while ago."

At that, I turned to Naminé, noticing the small apologetic smile gracing her angelic face. We stared at each other for a moment, the memories of our fight quickly dissipating in the vast darkness of our memories. Then, we hugged. Tightly.

She broke down in my arms, sobbing, crying, and clutching me tight like she used to do when she was afraid of the creepy things in the dark. I comforted her the same way I used to do…

I sang her a soft lullaby.

Sora couldn't stop grinning.

-x-X-x-

Christmas in Twilight High meant baking Gingerbread houses in Foods. Supposedly, Mrs. Potts said it was one of the hardest projects that we will ever do in her class. At first, I thought she was joking. What was so hard in baking gingerbread houses?

I was wrong.

Dead. WRONG!

We spent the whole month of December making, mixing, ordering and preparing for the big task ahead of us—baking gingerbread. Making them was easy; all we had to do was mix it until it turned into dough. It was everything else that was the hard part.

-x-X-x-

"So what's going to happen to Marluxia and Larxene?" Sora asked me the moment we were excused to finish our baking. (Mrs. Potts had us switch groups for this project, Sora, Riku, Hayner and I ended up in one group while Cloud and Leon ended up in another.)

Sora was in charge of baking the dough. He was meant to keep an eye on the clock and make sure our gingerbread "walls" for the house wouldn't get roasted to a crisp. Riku's job was to "construct" the house using the sticky, pasty thick icing cream we made a few days before and Hayner's job was to decorate. My job was to clean up everyone's mess.

So far I was the only one doing my job.

I shrugged at his question, caring less for the answer and focusing more on getting a stubborn stain out of the wooden spoon. I scrubbed the spoon relentlessly.

"What happens if they get bail?" Riku asked stealing a couple of Hershey kisses from our candy pile for the gingerbread house. "I don't know about Larxene but Marluxia can talk himself out of anything. What if he manages to get out of this too?"

"Don't know, don't care." I muttered, growing more and more furious with the spoon. "That won't help me get this stupid stain off—HAH!" Stain annihilated!

Hayner returned to our kitchen station, his arms overloaded with more bags of candy, when his face scrunched in distaste. He sniffed the air, brown eyes wandering around wildly before asking: "Hey does anybody smell something burning?"

"Huh?" Sora and I replied eloquently.

Riku's eyes suddenly widened, his attention falling straight at the-

"THE GINGERBREAD!" We screamed in panic.

Black smoke spewed out of the corners of the oven, a small flicker of fire could be seen through the black screen on the oven door. Sora wretched the oven door open, which made black smoke bellow out openly toward us and choked the very air we breathed.

There was a screech from a few wandering girls then panic. The first years in the classroom squealed, yelled, screamed—whatever the hell—all around the room until Mrs. Potts ran through the black smoke and sprayed the foam from the fire extinguisher all over the oven.

When the fire was finally put out, the smoke began to clear away, revealing the four idiots—us—that nearly burnt down the damn school. Sora's arms were wrapped tightly around me, his face only inches away from my own. Hayner cowered behind us, his blonde head poking out from Sora's side to watch the view and Riku—being the tallest of us—watched from all the way in the back, the three of us being his guards.

Nice Riku. Take shelter behind the first years.

Mrs. Potts glared at us, her hands on her hips.

We sighed in unison. "Sorry Mrs. Potts." I apologized. "We'll clean up the mess."

"Who exactly was in charge of keeping track of the time, dears?" She was giving us that Grandmother's-cookies-taste-like-horse-dung glare again.

My eyes instantly glanced over to Sora, who stiffened beside me. Hayner slipped out of view behind us, apparently he knew what that glare meant. Then my eyes traveled to Riku, the look on his face completely passive. Now that gave me an idea.

I returned my attention to Mrs. Potts, who was giving me a curious look when I opened my mouth and said, "Its Riku's fault, Mrs. Potts. He was supposed to tell us when to take it out."

"WHAT?!"

"Riku Morikawa! See me after school, young man!"

"But Mrs. Potts—"

"No butts!" She huffed and marched away, empty extinguisher in hand.

I smirked broadly. Revenge is sweet.

"Roxas, when this class is over, you're dead." Riku growled angrily, marching off with Hayner to get the cleaning rags.

Sora laughed suddenly. He snaked his hand into my own, intertwining our fingers together. "You know, when I told you I wanted to get to know the real you, I had no idea you were such a trouble maker."

I shrugged and gave him a small smile. "You owe me. If Riku is going to beat me up after school, the least you can do is make it worth wild."

Sora's smile widened brightly. "Don't worry about that! I'll make sure Riku doesn't do anything to ruin our date tonight." Strangely, his smile suddenly faded as though he had just remembered something that worried him. "You know, what if what Riku said was true? About Marluxia talking his way out of trouble, I mean. I don't want you getting hurt again."

"That won't happen," I said with more confidence than I felt.

"What makes you say that?"

"Because," the grip I held on his hand tightened and a small smile worked its way back across my lips. "Even if Marluxia does come back, I know I'll have you by my side. You, Cloud, Naminé, our friends-I'll be okay."

Sora mirrored my smile, returning the tight grip. He leant over my shoulder and planted a soft peck against my cheek.

"That's right. That was my promise to you. As long as you have us, you'll always be safe."

It was his promise-our promise. And Sora always kept his promises. I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried, because I truly was, but Sora's words were comforting. They were always comforting. I would be okay. I knew I would be. Whether Marluxia managed to talk himself out of this or not, it didn't matter, because I had Sora by my side.

I would be just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coinquinatus is the sequel, if it's not already up then I'll post up later. (It's already up in FF.net however)

**Author's Note:**

> Like I mentioned earlier, I didn't properly proofread so if there are errors let me know. Otherwise, they're going to stay there, haha.


End file.
